Abusive Bf Help

6 Replies
Help M3 - January 18

hey im 17 and i have a baby with a older guy he really wanted her when i was preg he was happy... but then after the 1st month of my pregnacy he started pushing me an holding me really tight wehn he was mad at me ... an he always wants to be in clubs wit his boys... its been almost a year from that but he is the greatest most sweetest caring guy one minute an the next he juss hits me hard if i say anything that bothers him but its free country i wanna tell him how i feel... with out him hitting me i try to end it but im stupid hes so great to me EXCEPT when hes mad wha should i do??? besides leave him he wont let me leave him neway

 

tara - January 18

I know this is hard for you guys to believe because you love the man you are with but trust me when I say if these men loved you they would never lay a hand on you! EVER!!!! They are only sweet to you when it's convenient for them - they want something...maybe s_x or whatever. But It's not true love other wise they would not be doing this. Secondly any man that hits a woman is mentally sick! There is something missing up there...so how can you love a guy who does this to you? also think baout your baby! If he does this to you there is a 85% chance that he will do the same to your baby - and 100% chance that he will do this again to you in front of your baby. What kind of a life is that??? There is nothing you can do to fix this except leave him! If you are afraid to leave there are many places you can go that will protect you. You can even look into getting a court order. Believe me, a man who threatens you and hits you is not worth your love and affection... you will realize this in time and you will know that a reall man would take care of you. I know you are looking for a different advice tahn leaving, but that's the best choice you have to lead a safe heathly life for you and your child.

 

tara - January 18

Here is some info I found on abuse on March of Dimes website: "Living in an abusive relationship can harm you and your baby. Your baby could be physically injured, or you could miscarry or have preterm labor. If you are being abused, know that you are not alone. Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or s_xually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. What you can do: If you are in a relationship where you are in danger of being harmed, get help. Call a hotline or ask your health care provider or another trusted person to help you make a plan. You might be feeling very scared at the thought of leaving, but you’ve got to do it for yourself and your baby." So you see girls, you are not alone, but you really need to do something about this - and the best thing to do is leave these men as things can only get worst for you; at list do it for your child.

 

Leanne - January 21

Trust me you both need to get away from those evil b___ds. He may be the best thing at all other times BUT when they are mad they are not meant to hit you. It doesn't work like that. There's men out there that will shout and argue, but they won't hit you. Why? Because they love you. Why should you live in fear of him getting mad? Take my advice - get well rid. A 'man' like that don't deserve a woman or children. I've been there. The first time he hit me it was a shock and he apologised for days afterwards. He'd never do it again... and guess what? A few weeks later he came in drunk, claiming I was cheating on him (which I wasn not) and beat me. He made me believe I deserved it. He didn't just beat me, he forced me to have s_x, and once even tried to make me have s_x with his friend. I refused, so got a beating instead. I got pregnant, and when I was 9 weeks he beat me and kicked me in the stomach. I finally pressed charges then when the policeman told me he was sick of seeing me in hospital. From that point I had problems with the pregnancy and I ended up losing my baby boy at 22 weeks after he was found to be severely disabled. A bloke like that is not worth staying with. It doesnt matter if they are ok in every other way, you shouldn't have to be beaten. Im with a wonderful man now that wouldn't dream of harming me and we are having a child. Don't put up with it.

 

Vanessa - January 22

Leave them. It will be really hard, but in the long term, you'll look back and think 'how on earth did i ever put up with that?' If you are being abused and worried about the guy in question persuing you, get in touch with the police, they may be able to help you. No guarantees though, cos i don't know what their policies are n stuff.

 

Mommy2Kylie - January 22

You're right about one thing. You're stupid for staying with him. But its not your fault what so ever that he hits you. You need to think about you and your child too though. You don't want her to grow up thinking thats how woman are treated. You need to protect her, thats your job. And being around and abusive boyfriend, father or not, is dangerous to your little girl. He needs to get help, and you really need to leave him before he takes it even farther. Take it from me. I've never met my father because he started beating my Mom, even when she was pregnant with me. She got away from him for me, and I thank God everyday that I don't know that man and that she had the courage to take us away from someone that could have killed us. Your daughter will thank you too someday. Do whats best for HER. please.

 

LUCY - January 23

GO TO THE POLICE.SOONER OR LATER HE IS GONNA BEAT YOU AND DO PERMINANT DAMAGE.NO MATTER WHAT A MAN SAYS OR HOW MANY TIMES HE SAYS SORRY ITS STILL GONNA BE THE SAME. HE AINT GONNA CHANGE .YOU GOTS TO GET AWAY. GO TO THE POLICE.IVE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING SIMALAR.WITH CONCERN AND LOVE LUCY

 

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