Adoption-pg115106621318

11 Replies
kenodra - June 23

has any one felt in the 3rd trimester like they wont succed or they will be a bad parent or anything? its like latly i dont want to be pregnant anymore i dont want to have to worry about any of this. im scared i wont do good with a baby. and on top of that it was my boyfriends birthday yesterday and we got into it bad he wants to be with his friends i know but it seems like he doesnt want to spend time with me and doesnt want me around. so i freaked out and p___sed him off and it was bad. i told him i dont want his baby anymore and hes like tough you have her. and i said theres ways around it. he said hes here for me no matter what, but i dont know sometimes i think im going to be a terrible mom. what should i do. help:) please :)

 

Mommy - June 23

You really should try not to make decisions until you are no longer stressed. I think lots of moms have that anxiety, I know I did. And usually the first few months are very stressful, so you should get as much help as you can. Maybe you can talk to a counsiler? You need to really think hard about this. Do you seriously not want the baby, or are you just freaking out? Because if you seriously don't want the baby, then you should give her up instead of keeping her or there will be resentment. But if this is just basic stress and worry, you should really rethink. Once you put a baby up for adoption it is unfair to the potenal adoptive parents for you to change your mind at the last moment. Good luck to you.

 

Mommy - June 23

That should read *potential* adoptive parents, not "potenal."

 

Mommy - June 23

Are there any programs you can get on? If you live in the U.S. there are many programs you can get on if you need financial help. There is the Link card (food stamps,) Medical card, WIC, Public Housing, and if one of you is working you could qualify for cash a__sistance. It can be very stressing for both parents because your boyfriend has the pressure to provide for you and him as well as a new baby he is obligated to support for 18 years. May I ask how old you are?

 

kenodra - June 23

mommy: yeah i live in the us too. i live in iowa. im on wic and t_tle 19 also. im not 18 and i dont have my own place yet could i still qualify for food stamps, public housing .? Cash a__sistance what is that? i work a full time job but im cutting hours right now becuase im so tired. all the time.

 

kenodra - June 23

mommy: do you know if there are any websites to get more information on any of this.

 

Mommy - June 23

I'm looking it up for you now. :o)

 

Mommy - June 23

Okay here's the site. http://www.dhs.state.ia.us/dhs2005/dhs_homepage/ On the left side of the page in red it has options to look up. The ones you want to pay special attention to are Children and Family Services-Cash a__sistance & Medicaid are under this t_tle. I could not find housing under this but I will warn you. If you are living at home and your boyfriend doesn't live with you they will probably want child support from him. They did to my boyfriend even though he supported us. What you do is have someone take you and whoever you live with to the DHS in Iowa (there are maps on the site, too.) You go by the household income and if you make below a certain amount of money you can get food stamps. You can also get Medical card and will will pay for you and your babies doctor visits. Good luck.

 

young_mum_2_b - June 23

hey...i know u posted this a while ago, i think anyway...but i wanted to let u know that i've been so very scared of being a bad parent!! i'm 39 weeks and am still scared i wont be a good mum but i was also told that everyone has that fear wit their first baby. i just wanted to tell you your not alone and i understand what u mean but i think u will be just fine and will be a great mum!! good luck :D

 

erenimi - June 26

When Aislyn was born i just knew what to do. Its not all that hard, i promise. Its so worth it to, having them in your life. You give alot up, but you get so much more. Don't worry, when you see her you will love her like you won't even believe. The key to being a good mom when they are this little is patience. I think maybe the real problem isn't that you don't want the baby. You're just nervouse, and possibly hormonal. I was WAY hormonal. I yelled at my hubby for EVERYTING for 9 months straight.

 

kenodra - June 26

thanks everyone. yeah i think its just the point that im scared and nervouse, they are so tiny and for fragile. i dont know i think ill do perfectly fine but i dont know. its just that i feel like i dont know what to do sometimes and i freak out and me n my boyfriend argue becuase im pregnant you know that is. kendra

 

kayla_shauntel_05 - June 26

Hey Kendra! Don't stress yourself out about that kind of stuff. Being a mom is hard, but you just know how to do it. I was afraid of the same things, but when I had my daughter it all changed. She is a month old now, and I guess I am doing a good job, shes gaining weight, thriving, and seems happy. My relationship is getting better too. Having a baby is stressful, it almost ruined my relationship, but we made it through it , and now I feel like we can make it through anything. You just have to go out and do things for yourself, and let him have time for himself too. I think my problem was while I was pregnant I was smothering my husband. I wanted him with me 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Now I let him go do what he wants, and now he comes straight home from work everyday to see me and Kylie. Everyone needs a break sometimes. We had a few of those fights you mentioned too.

 

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