ADOPTION OR ABORTION

42 Replies
noname - October 27

I am in my second trimester, had a transva___al ultrasound, baby is a boy, big for his gestational age, strong heartbeat too! I am freaking out about having this baby, at firt I was ok, an now I am like, wow, I can't do this!!! HAs anyone had an abortion in the second trimester?? How does that feel? no judgement please, I don't want to kill my baby but don't know what to do! Other option is adoption, but i can't imagine seeing someone ele raising my child and watching that! So maybe closed adoption so I would never see the baby, that would probably be easier, right..? I have looked on several adoption sights but they are so impersonal. Please any adivice would be great if you know anything about adoption or late term abortion

 

Well.... - October 27

I am pro-choice in general (I have had an abortion myself), but I do not agree with second trimester abortions unless the mother's life is at risk. It is not an easy procedure at that point either. My friend had oe and they had to dilate her over 3 days just to get to the baby.......as for adoption, I can understand your worries. I would suggest this....remember it is normal to feel panicky during pregnancy! You do not have to make an adoption decision at this time. Wait until the baby comes out and see how you feel then. You can always make the choice for adoption at that time. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

angel - October 27

u could adopt :) there are lots of people out there who would luv to have a baby and a lot of times u can work it so u can still keep in touch and see how the baby is doing :) good luck!

 

noname - October 27

I know that late term abortions are gruesome but i am considering it becasue my boss doesn't want my belly to show at work and now its definitly starting to show, i can't lose my job.. I guess adoption is a better choice. I have an 11 month old daughter so this would be my second, and that is exactly what is freaking me out because i don't think I could handle it!!! I can't go on maternity leave, and I would need all new baby clothes becasue i had a girl, and its all pink. I love this baby but I can't provide much for him, I am already struggeling with my little girl. angel.. do you know any good adoption sites?

 

boo - October 27

i did. it is sooo sad.

 

to noname - October 27

I am personally against abortions, but I am not going to throw the fact that I am against them at you. However, if you choose to abort, then you need to think about whether or not it will cause you to suffer emotionally in the future(because you are pretty far along in your pregnancy) or cause you not to have anymore children. But if you want to give your baby up for adoption, there is some ways that you can choose a family to raise your child. Don't know how to do it, but I know some other people that did and were glad they did so you can try to find out if that's what you want. You can also think about this way...what do you think is best for the baby? Personally to me, it sounds like you want this baby because you are worried that you won't be able to take care of him or her and you said you don't want to see the baby raised by anyone else. But if you are too young or there is something going on to where you know that you can't raise this baby, then yes, give the baby up for adoption. As I said up above though, you can choose a family to raise your child so you will be confident that the baby is not in a bad home, and then never see your child or the family again. Sorry though I can't tell you how to do that, but keep researching and asking around or something and I'm sure you will find out. Kind of short on time today, but maybe I will reply again if I find out for you.

 

noname - October 27

I've heard of birth mothers that choose a family for their babies and I thought that its nice.... I've also been told ( by a social woker) to consider foster care until I can take my baby back, however she did say that sometimes it is hard to get the baby back.

 

to noname - October 27

Sorry, I didn't read your second post until now. Your boss at work cannot fire you because you are showing! What state do you live in? I know it is the law in most states that they have to let you have maternity leave if you want it so surely there is some law against firing you. Get a doctor's note to bring to work telling your boss that you have certain restrictions such as you probably will need to sit down more e.t.c. If he bothers you about it, is there some other job you can get? Do not let your boss be the reason you get an abortion! You will suffer emotionally if that is not what you want to do. Like I said, I am short on time today and I need to run now, but I will try to find out something for you if I can.

 

to noname - October 27

Waut , and think . youre scared and confused once you sign your baby for adoption there is NO going back you are committed. I felt very much like you until I saw my baby and all my fears went. Corney I know but VERY, VERY true.Maybe have some councelling to talk through your anxiety.

 

noname - October 27

howeve wrote the last post, I understand what you are saying and I am very aware of this. Believe me, I have a child already and I know the overwhelming maternal love you feel when your baby is born, and I know it would be hard, but its not just about being scared or confused... like I said its not my first time. MY PROBLEM is that I work , I go to school for nursing and have an 11 month old, that is a lot of work and bills to pay, I can't just go on maternity leave or take a break from school, or put my daughter on a shelf when I have his baby!!!!!

 

renee - October 27

noname, what race are you, what race is your baby?

 

noname - October 27

renee, why are you asking? I am white/blond. My baby will be half hawaiien here is a website of my baby , why do you want to know? http://ladybug04.piczo.com

 

raye - October 27

do u want it to be open or closed

 

noname - October 27

if i chose adoption then definitly closed...

 

renee - October 27

your baby girl is beautiful!!!!! she is simply a masterpeice. I suppose thats you on the bottom????

 

cambrie - October 27

noname, your baby is really presious, i wish you good luck with whatever you choose, you can get through it!!! if this next baby looks anything like your daughter he will be lucky ;-) angel!!!

 

single one!! - October 28

I would love to adopt, as would many other single women out there. I have been turned away from gencies because I am not married. I think you should find a nice person ( or couple) to raise this beautiful miricle. good luck

 

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