Am I Just Being Selfish

15 Replies
marie - April 12

im 18 with a 2year old son, im a stay at home mom my boyfriend and i have ben to gether for 4 years, i want a nother child but im only 18, and we live with my mother is this being selfish?

 

Jen - April 12

No you are not being selfish at all..you sound like a caring person that only wants the best for your baby. Sounds like you know that it's hard and you are not sure if you are ready. It will be okay and NO you are not selfish.

 

marie - April 12

Thank you for being so understanding! I realy do like being a mother and i want my child to have a sister our brother i just want to do the rite thing

 

Alison - April 12

I don't think your being selfish at all. Babies are wonderful and I feel the more babies in this world, the better off we all are. Does your boyfriend have the same feelings as you do. I think if you want another baby then go for it. I know your son will love having a baby brother or baby sister to love and play with. Most of all im sure he will love being a big brother.All I can say is go with your instinct. Good Luck & God Bless You :o)

 

marie - April 12

my boyfriend just says that if i get pregnant that he will be fine with it and that he would be happy,but he never realy said go for it, so im not too shoure if he realy wants a nother one we should talk about it some more.

 

Alison - April 12

Marie.... I think your smart for talking with your boyfriend about it. I think it needs to be a mutual decision. If I asked my husband if he wanted another baby he would respond with exactally what your boyfriend said...Maybe it's a guy thing. Anyways I wish you the best of luck.

 

marie - April 12

what is it with men? why do they always want us to make the big choices. anyways thank you for you're advice.

 

Alison - April 12

Marie... I agree with you..Im almost 21 weeks pregnant with my 4th baby, we are so happy with all our kids. We are very excited about the baby girl we are going to have..I just asked him if we could have another baby after this baby is born, and he sure answered that question fast......lol.... He said no way....I was just kidding when I asked that question, I just wanted to see how e responded.....lol

 

crystal - April 13

Marie I dont think your being selfish if your financially ready and emotionally and your b/f is too. I say y not? I dont know your situation with your mother. i dont if u pay bills at your mothers house. but if u dont u should talk to her about it also, and if everyone is cool with it. u should. good luck Hope u make the right choice.

 

marie - April 13

my boyfriend pays my mom rent,and helps out with the food. he also buys everything for our son,my mom on the other hand say's that sence im only 18 that i should wate, but why should i if im ready and so is my boyfriend? i dont want to be disrespectful to my mother and we do live in her house,but how much say should she have?

 

Jen - April 13

after reading you post again, I dpn't think you are being selfish but I think you have time to have more kids and your situation is a little unstable and it may make it harder for your mom and it sounds like you can't afford it now. Why not wait a year or two and think about it again? Enjoy your son.

 

eee - April 13

Why not wait a couple years...get married, enjoy your new husband and son you already have, get a place of your own, then have another baby. I know how hard it is when you really want a baby, but you have to think of the other lives it would be affecting also. But it is hard for us to give you a good opinion because we don't know you personally...I think you know what is best for you and your family, and you know what you guys can handle. And no matter what happens I know you'll get through it. Best of luck with whatever you decide!!

 

marie - April 13

I just want to thank all of you, you're input has been very helpful.

 

crystal - April 13

Marie what is your education status? r u planning on a career? I still don't think your being selfish. but maybe u should wait since your still living with your mom, and y r u still living with your mom? I think u should wait b/c of two reasons one b/c your mom think it's not a good idea(cause your still in her house) and two u dont sound independent dont u want to have your own place? doing your thing and not have to worry about your mom?

 

marie - April 13

well,I got my GED and im a stay at home mom,my boyfriend makes good money he works for honda in the shop. The only problem with money is he's in debt, like 10,000 dollars worth. so were trying to pay that off befor we can move out of my mom's house. Other then that there's no money problem. I would go to work but I feel that my time is better spent with my son. But once he starts school then I'll go to work.Im takeing on line cla__ses to be a nurse, but I have to go in to do all my labs.I should be done in like another 8 months. and that is my life at the moment.

 

crystal - April 13

Marie if your b/f is in debt, I think that it's best u wait until u guys r more stable to have another child. That's good your studing to become a nurse and I hope that works out well for u, but maybe u should wait until u finish school first and u guys have your own place.

 

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