Any Other Teens In The Third Trimester

26 Replies
amanda17 - April 9

It seems like most people come to this site to ask "Am I pregnant?" then check back once or twice, then not at all. It's like everyone my age is just abortion after abortion. Any teens left on here that are actually keeping their baby and checking back frequently? I'd like someone to relate to--especially with parent problems because my dad is going psycho on me... He won't listen to a word I say no matter what I do. If I talk to him in person he screams over me, then kicks me out of his house... if I call him on the phone he hangs up, if I write him a letter he tears it up. I only have about 10 weeks to go and I want him to know that after he beat my mom I don't want him in my daughter's life. I especially don't want him at the hospital when she's born... that's such a special day I know he'll mess it all up. I don't just want to say "hey you can't see your granddaughter neener neener" I actually want to get through to him like this is the best thing for her so HOPEFULLY he'll stop trying.... Seriously daily phone calls calling me a selfish whore and saying I'm an idiot and couldn't possibly me a mother... and that I should have gotten an abortion but he still wants to be a part of her life? Um, yeah that's getting pretty oldddd.

 

ellys_love - April 9

Well i'm not exactly thatt young but i'm only 19. i'm keeping my baby & although i cant relate to your parental problems since my parents have been great with me i'm sure my fiance can. now that we're back together and he's going to help me with the baby his father has completely gone mad. his parents are separated and he lives with his mom but he works for his dad's company. his dad fired him and told him he was not going to help him raise that "whore's" baby. he wants nothing to do with us and told my fiance that he disowned him & that he doesnt want anything to do with us or the baby. so now we're trying to find him a job, meanwhile i'm still working but its put a lot of strain on our relationship. he's frustrated bc he cant find a job and at this rate we dont know how we're gonna be able to afford a place for us. sorry this is soo long i just needed to let it outt. none of my girlfriends have these kinds of problems so its hard to talk to them. how old are you?

 

amanda17 - April 9

I'm seventeen. My dad disowned me during my first pregnancy when I was fifteen and had an abortion. So it was really hard to be open with him about this pregnancy. The thing is, he is so unstable and violent i WISH he didn't want to be a part of my daughter's life. He's constantly screaming at me asking me why I'm doing this to him and why I didn't get another abortion... yet he still wants to be a part of her life. He put me through a lot through my childhood and even now, I just can't sit back and watch him do the same awful things to my daughter. If he would just listen to me for five seconds maybe we could accomplish something, but he's so stubborn and impossible to talk to. My fiance and I are being extremely responsible about the entire situation, and no one has any proof to say we're going to be bad parents, but in fact quite the opposite. He refuses to see any changes in me. He keeps asking about a dog I got when I was six... I gave her away because I wasn't ready to take care of her on my own, being SIX YEARS OLD. He keeps saying that I'm going to throw my child away because of how I handled having a dog. Even though since then I've had plenty of other animals and taken perfectly good care of them... Oh and by the way, it's a BABY, not a DOG. I'm not stupid... I understand what my decision means. Bleh it's soooooo frustrating.

 

Cat24 - April 9

amanda17 perhaps you should come to some sort of compromise with your dad and say that he can visit her on your terms i.e you have to be there at the time and it would only be for an hour in a public place or whatever you decide. that way he won't have anything to grumble about and it would keep him sweet. it would mean he adhreres to your terms for once in his life and it would give his grandchild a chance to know a little about him.

 

amanda17 - April 9

Thanks Cat, but you don't quite understand my dad. He isn't exactly mentally stable, and he's just been getting worse. My sister had a baby 6 months ago and she lets my dad see him as long as it's under her super vision... He's still not good around him though. He doesn't know how not to scream and cuss, and he doesn't think twice about smoking around the baby, or getting drunk around him either. He's very violent with my mom and he's constantly hitting her, even in public places. I would have welcomed a compromise because he's my dad and I'm still going to care about him no matter what... I just really think no contact at all would be best. Since he's refusing that, I've been talking to my mom about looking into a restraining order for me. I really hate that it has to come to that, but I don't see any other way. I have to do what's best for my daughter at all costs.

 

ellys_love - April 9

Do you think that maybe putting a restraining order would make things worse? if he's mentally unstable you never know how he might react to something like that. and he cant possibly compare you now to how you were at the age of six. you were a child you didnt know any better, if anything it was a mature decision for a six year old to give their dog away so that it could have a better life.

 

amanda17 - April 9

I had thought about a restraining order exacerbating the situation, but it's already bad as it is. He's practically stalking me. He doesn't live with me, so he sits outside my house in his truck and waits for me to leave or for someone to come over. He somehow looks up my fiance's criminal record [he was falsely accused of a__sault when he was 14], so my dad is trying to get the case opened again because he's convinced it actually happened... He calls me ALL the time, one call after the other and leaves me rude voicemails until my inbox is full. He's been escorted off my property several times by the police for trying to break into my house [I didn't press charges against him]... I was just thinking that it can't really get any worse so if I had a restraining order I would at least have the police on my side.

 

kate_ - April 10

hi amanda, first of all, congrats on being so strong. i am sure this has been a very stressful time for you! make sure you're taking care of yourself and your baby! that being said, i think you need to be very clear with your dad. if he is sitting outside your house and following you, do not hesitate to call the police. maybe you do need to press charges to show him you are serious. a restraining order is a good thing to have because it will show the police that this is an ongoing problem if he continues to stalk you. i do agree that this course could anger him, but sitting back and waiting to see what an unpredictable and unstable man does is not the best idea either...i'm sure there are agencies you could call for advice/someone to talk to in your area. your doctor could refer you to a social work agency...good luck, and remember to put yourself and the baby first!

 

amanda17 - April 10

Thank you so much for your support Kate! I am always thinking about my daughter, and my fiance was worried about me being too stressed out so he set up this whole relaxing bath for me and gave me a ma__sage afterwards. I was so relaxed I went straight to sleep lol. It was a nice reminder for me to take it slow because anything I feel, baby feels too. :)

 

amanda17 - April 10

I have a question for anyone familiar with social service policies. My dad showed my MySpace page to social services trying to convince them I would be a bad mother so they'd take my child away. My mom said that they want to investigate me now. But I don't understand, all my MySpace has on it are my pregnancy photos, an ultrasound photo of her, and a pregnancy ticker. Nothing even remotely offensive at all. Why would they want to investigate me when all my MySpace page shows is how proud I am to be a mom? And what will they look for when they do? I don't drink, smoke or do any drugs, I have excellent grades in school and she has plenty of clothes and toys. Will they look to see if I will neglect her or something? I really don't understand why my MySpace page would intrigue an investigation?

 

kate_ - April 10

hey again amanda, i have a bachelors degree in social work, and i am currently getting my masters. in my opinion, your parents are lying to you. it just doesnt make any sense. you need pretty solid evidence to even get a child abuse investigation going, nevermind now when the child isnt even born! if there is nothing about drugs, drinking etc., i'd say don't sweat it. your dad is probably telling your mom stories to manipulate you. generally, you need to see evidence of abuse, not someone's myspace page. i would still make your page and photos private just to keep your dad out of that part of your life. i am on myspace too, username dishpanhands. send me a message/request if i can help you out in any way!

 

amanda17 - April 10

Thanks, I figured he was lying but I just wanted to make sure. My profile is set to private, my dad doesn't even know how to turn a computer on so I'm a__suming my sister probably showed it to him. My mom bought me a tape recorder so I can record the voicemails he leaves me to present in court, if necessary. I think he found out that she did because he hasn't called me at all today, instead he asks my brothers and sisters to deliver messages to me.

 

kate_ - April 11

your mom sounds smart! when you get a message from your dad through your siblings, write it down and date it. it's not official, but you should always keep a record when someone is mistreating you like this. the courts would probably look favorably upon you if this came to court because you have no reason to lie. would your siblings be willing to speak up for you (speak against your father)? i imagine he probably has a strong hold over them... sounds scary. i am glad you're putting yourself and your baby first. you seem quite mature.

 

amanda17 - April 11

My family is really complicated. None of us really like each other, but my dad, my brothers and my sisters all bond together because they are all alcoholics and like to drink together. That's all they ever do, and since they know my dad will never turn down a drink, they feel better about going to him instead of drinking alone. [I guess they consider drinking alone the first sign of alcoholism and they don't want to admit they are] Since I have never conformed to this bonding trend, I've been the black sheep of the family. So while my brothers and sisters all stand up for each other, none of them ever bother themselves when I need help. One of my brothers is a drug addict and he always has at least two or three warrants out for his arrest. My siblings have lied in court for him before, and since my dad is a part of their group, I would imagine they'd do the same for him. I haven't talked to them about my plans at all, for fear they will speak against me.

 

kay101 - April 11

pssst! You have my myspace if you ever wanna talk I'll send you my screen name. I did the teen mom thing not too long ago.

 

Lyrah - April 12

Wow. You are such a strong character, I really respect you for that. You have been through so much but still come out the other side smiling. You're incredible for that :) Your baby is gonna have a wonderful mum. It's a very hard situation that you're in and you're doing really well coping with it. My advice is to keep your chin up, hold your head up high and try to ignore what he does. It must be extra hard for you as he's your dad etc but the main thing is you and your baby.. and that's all that matters. If he's gonna be nasty and try to ruin things for you, let him. Nobody can ruin anything for you.. you've got a perfect little baby girl who will soon be in your arms.. that's all you have to think about :) Keep thinking this and stay as positive as you can. I know it's hard but try not to be negative as this will make you feel low but also the baby will sense that you're not feeling very happy. You've got your mums support and your fiances support. You'll be okay, I just know it. Many girls will look up to you for your strength through all of this. What's your myspace if you don't mind me asking? I'm here for you if you want to talk. I have myspace too and I'm also 17. Keep strong girl, you can pull through this :) xxx

 

amanda17 - April 12

Aw, thanks for your support ladies! It really brightens my day to have people actually respecting what I'm doing. My myspace is myspace.com/2097699 I would be happy to add you :)

 

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