Bad Mother

13 Replies
guccigal87 - February 21

ok so i dont know if lots of you know me but i have a month old little boy and i love him to death but sometimes i just feel like a horrible mom.. like when he crys and i cant figure out and and he just sits and screams and then i sit there and cry and i just want to get rid of hi,m.. dont get me wrong i love him to death but sometimes i just want him gone.. and i wish i didnt have them and i feel horrible for thinking this cuz it makes me feel like shit cuz i know thats not what i want just in the heat of the moment i dont like him.. and he is eating SOO much i dont even have enough milk for him which makes me feel even WORSE cuz i cant even feed my kid.. i gotta give him formula and i gotta pump for him to even be able to eat.. its horrible.. anyone else felt this way or maybe cangive me advice on how to NOT loose it


xoxticiaxox - February 21

I think this is called postpartum deprsession. Its hard but you will get through it. Just think about all the good...easier said than done I know! Your not a horrible mother, you just need some time to adjust to the fact. Im sorry its not very good for you,. but things will get better.


freebird - February 21

It's really hard in the beginning. It's also pretty common to feel the way you are. When you start feeling overwhelmed try putting the baby down in his crib and stepping into another room and counting to 20 slowly. It will help you to collect yourself. Do you have anyone helping you, or are you doing this alone? Sometimes just handing the baby off to another person for a couple of hours so you can get a little break to take a shower or take a walk outside helps. Don't stress yourself about the b___st feeding. Lots of women have supply issues and supplementing with formula is not a crime. If you're feeling this way a lot you should talk to your doctor (your 6-week postpartum visit should be coming up soon) they can help you with medication or counseling until your hormones stabilize. Don't feel like you can't ask for help and don't try to be a hero and do it all yourself. If someone offers you help, take it. Good luck, it really does get easier with time.


ChattyKathy - February 21

I can't really give better advice then what these girls have already said. I just want to reemphasize. Its HARD in the beginning. Babies will cry about everything they don't like. They can't adjust their clothes, go watch tv, roll over if they're uncomfortable, or anything like that. Eventually you'll get the hang of it. No one will know your baby like you will, but all of that takes time. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up about it. In addition, SO many women always planned on b___stfeeding but just can't do it for whatever reason. Its okay. Formula these days has so many vitamins in it that its okay to completely switch to formula. You've already given your baby antibodies in the beginning of b___stfeeding, which is the main advantage to the b___st. Take a day, get someone to look after the little one if you can, and just do something girly. Go get your hair done, go to a spa, whatever. Or even just walk around the mall by yourself. Allow yourself some time to take a break, breathe, and collect yourself. If you can't do that then find some time just to go outside for a bit and have some quiet while the baby is sleeping. It wont always be this bad, hun. You've just got to get through the tough part.


AyameLovesXion - February 22

I honestly think you might have PPD ( postpartum depression. ) It doesn't make you a bad mother at all, you aren't doing anything wrong, it's just the hormones going a bit odd. You should contact your obgyn, and then talk to him/her about seeing someone concerning it, they can see if you have PPD, and if not it's still good to talk to someone about the way you are feeling. I hope you don't take this offensively.


Blackeye - February 22

Hello. I have an auntkid if that is what you call it. And when he was born he had colic for 3 whole months. He cried for 5 hours at night before he calmed down. His mother never slept and she was so frustrated and did not know what she did wrong. Myself and my mother in law and the kids mother went in shifts to carry him and bumping him(moving him up and down to get him to relax). She also had to little milk to b___stfeed and had to switch to formular, but the baby actually calmed down very much when she did. It might be something she was eating or drinking. Because babies react to changes in the eating the mother does. But she did the one thing that stopped it. She bought an jumping seat that hangs from the roof and the baby can sit straight up and get his whole body stabil like the baby could not get harmed. And whenever he cried that baby jump helped BIG TIME..You are not the only one having problems, but every mummy comes up with an idea and a way to get around the problem.The babies mum is the one person who really figures out things at the end.


freebird - February 22

I just want to point out that a baby should not be in a jumper seat until they can support their whole body very well. One month is much too young, so don't plan on doing that for a while. mine are 4 months and just able to use it. The pp said this but I don't think that part was made very clear.


vicky9989 - February 22

i dont think you hav postnatal depression, i think its common 2 feel like that. ive sat crying in my room with my daughter screaming coz i didnt no wot she wanted about 4 times and shes 3 months. i actually found 2 months so dificult. now at three months i know her quite well, i think it comes with time. my dr even told me at my 6 week check up its ok to get anoyed. xxx


xBeautiful.Disasterx - February 22

it doesn't make you a bad mother is is normal with your first child or any child it's hard at the beginning.


Blackeye - February 22

The jumping seat she bought was one that was for kids between 1-3 month old babies that had colic. And the seat was accepted by the hospital. It was safe because it was giving support and putting the baby down in a way that helps the baby feel better if it has colic or a pain in its belly. Her babies doctor recomanded it if the baby had pains. So it does not harm the baby in any way because it has support in any way the baby needs when it is 1 month old. I know a jumping seat sounds crazy but i dont know what else to call ut. Maby a sitting seat that helps a baby? I dont know. But if she askes her babies doctor than maby she/he has heard about it. Just a suggestion.


Miriam - February 22

dear guccigal87, don't be so hard on yourself. the first three months are very hard. its wonderful that you are b___stfeeding. see you already get a brownie point for that:) anyway, i wanted to help you on that front. first of all it is very common for babies this age to nurse constantly and for a long time. it does not mean that you don't have enough milk. they nurse for comfort and the nurse a lot if they are going through a growth spurt. DONT listen to the doctors who tell you to feed on a schedule. that's what i did and my son was also constantly crying. i wish i knew then what i know now. if he is crying just nurse him. He will grow out of this stage in a about two months and then things will get much easier. eventually nursing will become easier than bottle feeding because it will take like 10-15 minutes with no bottles to wash. Now if your baby is truly not gaining or loosing weight than that's another story and you should contact a lactation consultant to discuss ways of increasing your supply. if you have any other questions about that let me know.


guccigal87 - February 23

aww thank you girls for all your support.. i am still b___stfeeding.. just mostly its b___st milk from bottles.. and he is getting better now that he is eating more.. and i am trying to get mysupply up im not doing this alone but my boyfriend isnt soo good with kids and he gets more frusterated so if i hand him off i get him within the minute if he starts to cry cuz he doesnt want to deal with it.. so i feel like i ALWAYS have the baby.. even his parents do that.. i guess its cuz austin calms down on me.. i have no idea why .. i found his swing is a lifesaver.. now that he can see the sutff moving above him he LOVES it and i love it.. haha still somtimes.. im just like .. ahh i want to eat MY dinner when its hot.. or at all cuz i usually miss dinner.. thats his crying times! and i have no scjedule AT ALL i feed him when he cry then he sleeps and then he eats and sleeps haha i want him to play!!


EricaLynn - February 23

My daughter is almost 8 weeks old, and I got baby blues with her really bad, like you are. I didnt want bad things to happen to her, but I wished that one morning I would wake up and she would just be gone. I wanted to take her back to the hopsital, everytime she cried I would cry right along with her. Every time she was hungry I cried (b___stfeeding was painful for me) I was like you, at first I didnt have enough milk for her, I never got the over production engorgment. What you are feeling is totally normal, and very common. I got over it within about 3 weeks, although I still cry sometimes when things get rough. Trust me it gets better though...make sure you get alot of rest, eat and drink alot too to encourage milk production. And once in a while ask for help and for someone else to watch the baby for a while so you can get a break. And if things dont improve in a week or two definitely talk to your doctor. Dont feel bad about it either, they have seen it before for sure!


EricaLynn - February 23

Oh also babies at this age dont really "play" But I love it when my daughter is awake and happy, even if she isnt playing. A great thing that she totally loves is the bath. She is awake and totally happy. Maybe try taking a bath with him, it might be nice bonding time while he is awake for you.



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