Confused-pg113269694518

5 Replies
Ameigh - November 22

its kinda a long story, but ill try to shorten it... In january i dated a guy named Bryan and we dated and everything was great, we didnt say i love you until we meant it and we both were virgins and gave ourselfs to each other. he always said things like he wanted to be with me forever. have kids when we were older and get married, all that kinda stuff, when we kissed (for me, dunno about him) it was major fireworks and we loved spending time with each other. some people dont think you can be in love that young but i say otherwise. Anyways it was perfect..but of course something went wrong. or i wouldnt be asking for help lol. we ended up breaking up.. because he said things just werent the same anymore between us :S..pretty much out of the blue. well a week later i found out i was pregnant and i told him of course. but he still didnt wanna be with me. i told him i would wait for him cuz he was something special and well now im "due" in 7 weeks!(33 weeks) and nothing has changed. we see each other in school and we have the same friends, and it has kicked in that i really am pregnant but still nothing:S..he has dated 3 other girls since we broke up and liked 8 all together (but the other 5 didnt date him cuz they thought he should be with cuz of whats happening). alot of people tell me hes just looking for a girl to screw around with.but alot of people tell me that hes so confused, scared and doesnt know what to do and will come around when the baby comes. i dont think he will tho. I have talked to him about "us" happening again a couple of times but he told me we're never gunna happen again and i believe him, we probably arent. but i cant get over him :( its driving me crazy!!! i think about him all the time, cry over him all the time, talk about him all the time. and other guys have taken interest in me too.but i cant seem to be with anyone else. i wanna wait for him and im willing too. but the down part is the pain from not knowing if im waiting for nothing :(......im not confused about anything with the baby. it was an accident, but the baby himself isnt a mistake. and im actually realli excited and cant wait to see him. i dont regret not getting an abortion or anything! but i just dont get whats going on in Bryans head, i would normally just forget about it and deal with it by myself, but then i get to stressed and of course this isnt a good time for that :( Anything realli would help from anyone.. i just dont know how to getting over him, or if i should...or if i should wait :S i would turn to friends or family but i always think there just telling wut i wanna hear or trying to be nice. and strangers of course would be more to willing to tell me if im living in some fantasy. Thanks! -Amy

 

mia - November 22

How old are you amy? Hey i am sorry what u are going thru. You know as much as it hurts for your own sake u have to move on. If its meant to be it will be and for now you need to take care of you and baby. You know my partner of 4 yrs walked out on myself and my baby, you think i deserve that, nor do you. He was a sweet talker too and my mum always said u gotta watch them cause no amount of talk means a thing, its actions that speak and like ur guy he ran cause it was a bit difficult. They all say they wanna be with u forever, honestly its them guys that don't usually mean a word of it, maybe he did love u and is running scared cause u are pregnant. For now as much as it hurts there is nothing u can do besides letting him go for now cause if u dont, you are hurting yourself. Everytime u ask him to come back or that u will wait for him his head gets bigger while u feel worse. Get yourself busy, spend time with friends, family, buy for baby to make u feel better and let it go even just for now, you cant make someone want to be with you and i know that, it sucks i know cause its always the ppl who do nothing wrong and give their all that get hurt. Take care amy and dont chase him, let him be cause u aren't doing ur self esteem any good by chasing him and your time can't be spent grieving anymore cause he is meeting other chics and having a ball, u said some guys are interested in you, well its time to do something about it so u can be happy. Another thing we always try and sit and think about what their thinking, i do it too, don't waste ya time babe. Use your energy and time in other ways. Let him wonder about you instead. You be as cold as him, back away and let him wonder, trust me, i wish u every happiness and remember from the sounds u are young and there will be lots of opportunity to meet guys. At the end of the day do we need someone who runs from us when we need them the most? Take care k

 

mia - November 22

I read later sorry that he left b4 he knew u were pregnant, had u mentioned at all that u were late that might have set him off running? Cause if he did leave before knowing and that was his decision then u again have to let it go .. Let me know or did he know ur period was late?

 

ameigh - November 22

hey, sorry i forgot to add my age. im 15 and so is he. and no i didnt tell him i was late, but one time i was wearing a tight tank top and it looked like i had the tinest little tummy. and we were joking and i was like oh yeah im pregnant..(i said i was joking tho... little did i know i really was) so maybe that could have done something

 

mia - November 24

if it was said jokingly it may not have registered and he took it as a joke, i dont know, guess only you do.. So have u taken any of my advice and backed off and maybe started talking to some of those interested guys, just always remember if its meant to be it will be, i really believe that and you need to take care of yourself

 

Grandpa Viv - November 24

Well, you are going to have some kind of relationship with Bryan for the rest of your life, if only because you have created a child together (unless you go the adoption route). You seem to be pretty tolerant, and you have to let that relationship develop over the years. In my opinion neither of you is old enough to think of making a permanent commitment. In the next 10 years you will each change a lot, and may be more or less suited to each other, so you need to let it ride. In the meantime, focus on the fact that evolution has ordained that you be in love with the father of your child, and it is going to hurt as you come to the realization that in your case you may have to let go. The brains of young males are driven by testosterone, and Bryan is no exception. Be careful about taking him back - by that time he will have had so many girls he may easily have an STI. Good luck!

 

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