Confused Father

8 Replies
scaredfather - January 15

Hey, I realized about two weeks ago that I was going to become a father. I'm 19 and I can't ever think of anything that made me more scared, confused and happy all at once. A few days after my girlfriend told me, she told me that she was unhappy and didn't want to date me anymore. I was so confused, I didn't know what to do, I love her so much. My parents planned for me and I have had a good life, but I worry everyday that I can't give my baby a good life because he/she won't have two parents who care about each other. I love my girlfriend so much, but she said..."it doesn't feel right anymore." I wonder if this is a result of all the changes she's going through because of pregnancy or if she really wants to call it quits. Personally, I would think she would want to be with me more than ever as a result of the baby in her belly. I feel abandoned because now is the time I need her the most, I'm so scared and confused. I just want someone to talk to, but she won't talk to me. I just want to have a family and a loving mother and father. The last couple of days have been the worst of my life. I just want to provide for my family and do the right thing here, I want to be there for her, even though she wasn't there for me, but I'm so angry at her. On one hand, I'm so mad that she abandoned me and on the other I love her so much that I want to protect her anyway I can. I just pray everyday that she will reconcile and we can be a family together. I want to be there for her, but I don't know how. She is the love of my life and I will do anything to make sure she is ok. I know the majority of the entries here are for mothers expecting, but is there anyone here who understands why my girlfriend doesn't want me to be with her and the baby? Is there any chance that she'll love me the way I love her?

 

gablex - January 15

Babies put pressure on everyone just make sure you stick with her in this time of need. Dont bolt, thats just an ignorant thing to do anyway. I got married at 15 and he was 16 and its been 5 1/2 years now...and still great. If you need to chat [email protected]

 

it's okay - January 18

I went through the same thing with baby of my father. I didn't want him anywhere near me at the start of my pregnancy. Part of it was becuase that I knew that my body would be going through a lot of changes and his wouldn't I felt like I was alone even though he wanted to be there. And another reason was becuase I figured he would leave sooner or later anyway so I would leave first to protect myself..He never gave up always calling to check on my and the baby he was at the hospital even though I wouldn't let him see the baby a few weeks after I had our daughter and he wouldn't quit calling I realized he loved me and our daughter and we got back together....a pregnant women goes through a lot of emotions a pregnant teen goes through twice as much. the father and i were together for 2 more years then we got married we have now been married for 4 years and couldn't be happier..your story may not turn out this way I hope it does but either way be there for your child

 

advice giver - January 18

Well ur situation is your having a really tuff time in your life right now. Iv'e been through this exept the whole having the baby part. Well i know its hard but what your girl tells you is what she wants! It is a really hard time in life, expecially your real first love. So all you really can do for her if you really want to help her, and you really care for her......is do whats best what she wants even if it hurts. And if u guys get back together in later life than bonus! But my favorite quote in life is "whatever happens in life happens for a reason".

 

Rl718bk - January 20

hi ,i'm 17 year old and pregnant and my boyfriend don't want to talk to meand i try to understand why , but i just can't . I wish he just tell me he love , so i can feel better about myself ..Ps i'm willing to listen , i can't stop crying .

 

Kimberly - January 20

Even if she doesn't want to be with you, you could still be friends and you could be a father still. Sit down and have a serious talk with her and tell her how you feel.

 

Joe - January 20

Hey there, I am a teen father too. I have realized that my g/f goes threw alot of emotions. As i do to. At some points i quit on myself and everything around me. When i heard your story i almost just about cried! I hope everything works out. Just stay with her man and do as much as you can. Be a proud father. Email me if u want [email protected] Joe

 

Marilyn Petol - January 22

I am 19,found out that i was pregnant on christmas eve. I told my boyfriend(20yrs) about it, and he was as scared and as confused as you are. Honestly, your girlfriend needs you the most, all she wants to hear from you is that you are ready to be responsible, she wants you to comfort her, it's just that she needs time to think through about what's coming ahead and how to break the news to her parents... i know,it is a very tuff situation. I haven't told my parents yet and i don't know how should i tell them. Just be patient with your girl, don't give up, show her u really care about her situation, and you're willing to go through with her in this time of adversity. Everything happens for a very right reason.

 

scaredfather - January 22

Hey, I just want to say thank you to everyone for their good advice. It really helps me to know that others have gone through the same thing and have turned out ok. My life is a real confusing situation right now and your help is appreciated. I'm just going to be there for her and give her time. Hopefully she will come around, I just hope I can somehow make her pregnancy easier, I just feel so guilty for changing her life. I'm just going to try to do the best I can. Thank you everyone for your advice...

 

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