Desprite Pregnancy

19 Replies
mocoloco123 - February 1

ok so i am 16 yrs old and i have a friend who is 15 and she is trying so hard to get pregnant.she thinks its cool to be pregnant i guess its cause im pregnant she thinks its ok to be also.i'm tring to tell her to calm down and she has plenty of time to have kids,cause right now she need to get her grades up and graduate.this is my jr year in school and im already slacking off.but any who she called me last night and she think she may have suceeded in her plan to get pregnant, ok she has a 28 day cycle her first cycle day was jan 16 and ended on jan 19 she had s_x(unprotected)one time on jan 26 then she had s_x (unprotected) 2 times on jan29 now she is planing on to have s_x(unprotected) on friday feb 2 i did the math and arent thoose the days she is most fertile? i think its the days 8-16 i maybe have calculated wrong.did i do so she has also been lying to her bf saying she is on birthcontrol so they can have (unprotected)s_x.should i tell her boyfriend that she is lying,i have thought about it cause i dont want her to have to go through things at this age should i tell her boy friend/ parents??? did she have s_x in her fertile days????what should i do to convince that this is not the right decision? THANKS!!

 

CMAgrad07 - February 1

Wow....i would let her know that her boyfriend may love her now and all that...but that really is young, and to be lying to him??? It would be different if they both decided together to try for a baby but thats just deceitful...How does she know that her boyfriends going to stay with her if she is pregnant??...That's very irresponsible, even though alot of pregnancies happen unplanned and unexpectedly the one thing that is just WOW really not responsible and really selfish is the fact that she is doing this behind his back...Did she not stop to think that there are things in his life that he may want to acheive and having a baby is a HUGE responsibility...LIFE changing!!! Explain to her that she is being irresponsible about things and how does she think she can be responsible for a baby when she isn't even for herself.... I know that's a little harsh and straight foward but I tell you what lol by the way you make her seem, she's pretty hard headed. And DON'T go behind her back and tell her boyfriend... That will def. mess up any relationship you guys have and even though everything else you tell her might make her mad...a little light in her head just might click on and make her realize that you're right...tell her that she needs to tell her boyfriend the truth and that if she doesn't then you're going to. That's what I'd do atleast...Even my BEST friend...If I knew she was doing that I'd be confused to I wouldn't know what to do and I'd jsut stay out of it but hearing it from the outside I'm just floored about the situation. That guy is clueless and could possibly be a father...Just talk to her okay? You're going in the right direction girl..keep us posted : )

 

mocoloco123 - February 1

yes she is very hard headed,i've told her over and over that is an wrong choice to make,the other day she was cring cause she thinks its not fair that im pregnant and she's not.my pregnancy was unplanned for me,but my boyfriend told me he did the whole thing on purpose!i was very angry at him at first he would give me letters at school telling me how much he was sorry and he would try to talk to me ,then i finally calmed down and we talked this over,but is there any idea that she had s_x(unprotected)in her fertile window???

 

hailey07 - February 1

Well first of all sorry that I don't have a calendar on me at the moment, but most people ovulate on the 14th day of their cycle. Either way, if she is having unprotected s_x, she can get pregnant... and it doesn't have to be exact, believe me. I concieved my baby while I was on birth control... never missed a pill- nothing! So I am living proof that things happen to responsible people. I would say to tell her parents or boyfriend, but unfortunately if a baby is her plan, a baby is her plan. You nor her parents can actually stop her from having a baby if she wants to do so. It is unfortunate that she is pulling her boyfriend and possibleunborn child into this situation. Maybe just talk to her about how deceitful she's being to her boyfriend, and if she cared for him, she would respect his wishes for his future. Some people just have to learn the hard way, but believe me she will learn. As soon as a baby becomes a reality to her, she will understand what you had said. Just do whatever your intuition is telling you to do. Best of luck.

 

mocoloco123 - February 1

thanks

 

Grandpa Viv - February 1

Jan 16 plus 14 is Jan 30 and she had unprotected the day before, which is THE most fertile day. Even so, there is only a 30% chance, so maybe you will have another month or two to persuade her. If she is getting pregnant she might just be getting a few signs by the end of the coming weekend. Explain to her that she only gets to have 2 or 3 kids in this life, and she owes it to them to have them come at the best possible time with the best possible father. Now is not that time. Good luck!

 

mocoloco123 - February 1

grandpa ViV can you exlpain a little more i just got confused so you are saying her most fertile day was on the 29th??

 

ChattyKathy - February 1

Sperm need time to travel to the egg, so the day before ovulation would be a very fertile day. Still, there is a chance that she could not be pregnant yet. I also think its VERY important that you tell her boyfriend about this. She is lying and manipulating him, and something like this will effect him for the rest of his life. Its not just a pregnancy that will happen and then poof there will be a baby and its over. She will probably want child support if he decides not to stick around. They base it off of income, so its not like he can get a better job and have more money. He'll ALWAYS have to pay it or always have to have this baby in his life, and it wasn't even his mistake! He thought he was being careful! Some high school friendship isn't as important as this guy's entire future. (I'll tell you, 90% of high school friendships DON'T last, so don't compromise your ethics because of a girl like her) She is manipulating him to get what she wants! Thats not right at all, he DESERVES to know. Please do the right thing.

 

Skyeblue - February 1

Mocoloco, you are pregnant and have your life and pregnancy to worry and prepare for, why on earth would you care so much if this "friend" has s_x on her fertile days...? You can't stop her, so why the panic. This all sounds just a bit uncanny. Hmmm, anyway drop it now and concentrate on your baby! That should be the only important thing in your life at the moment, not this unnecessary useless drama. Good luck!!

 

mocoloco123 - February 1

i am concentrating on my child,but i really care for this girl we've been friends since we were little toddlers,i just dont want her to mess up like me.she is a very good person i think it's just a phase she is going through right now...

 

CMAgrad07 - February 1

I never look at unplanned pregnancy as messing up....you're blessed to be pregnant and have a baby, maybe it's not the right time you imagined yourself having a baby but it must've been God's : ) and I do agree somewhat with Skyeblue but I do understand that she is a really good friend you know??...You can't make her choices for her but the fact that she's doing this behind her boyfriends back...thats really not okay...Please don't worry or stress about it though. Just make sure that sometime in the NEAR future he finds out about whats going on...

 

mocoloco123 - February 1

well i just hope she dosent mess up her life.she is very ignorant at this moment and her parents even know she is having s_x!

 

CMAgrad07 - February 1

Well nobody can prevent her from having s_x unfortunately...I'm sure her parents don't know what she's trying to do and exactly how she's going about it either...Even then there isn't really anything they can do about it you know? What she needs is a good long talk from a good friend..not a parent because at her age being lectured is something that won't do her any good but go against what her parents say. You might want to think about your major points you are trying to get accross to her but don't plan out a whole conversation cause it may not go as smoothly as you plan. Good Luck and let us know what happens

 

SaraH - February 2

Wow. Yes the 30th would have been when she was probably the most fertile so she could be pregnant. That said, she is obviously too young to understand fully what she is attempting to do. While I'm sure she thinks she understands all that a baby is going to entail, I can't imagine that she fully does. An accidental pregnancy at 15 is one thing but an intentional one...wow. Honestly I'd consider (depending on her b/f and her parents and if you honestly think she can/can't handle having a child at this pt), telling her b/f and her parents what she is planning. I mean you have to consider not only your friend but the fact that what she is doing is going to effect a lot of others too. Her b/f is going to be stuck w/ a child that he understandably isn't ready for. Her parents are going to have to probably do a great deal to help her out w/ the baby. And the baby its self is going to be greatly affected depending on how mature and capable your friend is at raising it. I've known some 15 yr olds who were great parents, but many others I've known have also been terrible parents who didn't quite realize what they were getting themselves into. The baby deserves a mother who is going to be able to support it, care for it, and consider it's health and well been above her own. While I'm sure your friend would love her baby, that doesn't mean she's able or ready to have a child. You know her, I don't, but as I said I seriously consider telling her parents and I probably would for sure tell the b/f. Realize though that this is your decision to tell and in doing so you may end up w/ a very angry friend, but on the other hand you may help keep her and those around her from a lot of big issues and problems. As I said I believe teens can be good parents and an accidental pregnancy is one thing, but choosing to get pregnant at 15 really just shows that she really probably isn't mature enough or ready for a baby…especially when it involves lying to the potential father. Good Luck.

 

lunamoo - February 2

Very good point Sarah, I should have thought of that myself : ) Mocoloco you should definately tell her parents!!! Yes she will be uspet, but sometimes friends have to step in and intervene and although she will be mad at you know, if she is truly a friend, she will of course forgive you and be thankful that you stepped up to the plate and took action! Perhaps her parents in return can tell her bfs parents. Good luck and let us know!

 

Jessika2007 - February 5

what is wrong with you young girls going to get pregnant your even too young just like your friend is hmmm don't your parents teach you anything you should be waiting till your married and wait till you get a job and are financhialy stable, I'm so tired of young girls that don't know what they are doing getting pregnant its not easy raising kids trust me I was 17 when my first was born its harder then you girls realize, and I'm sorry I'm not like everybody else I can't give you advice telling you its ok to have s_x and get pregnant.......sorry you'll just have to learn like I did and the labour is no fun .....good luck and hopefully you learn from this

 

abriamiacadia - February 6

Jessika would you stop blaming the parents? you dont know kids situations. Sometimes its called REBELLION. A 16 yr old sneaks out of the house at 2 am. Parents are asleep trusting her. She meets her bf or a random guy. They have s_x. Out pops a baby. Now tell me, in that scenario how is it parents fault? Do you expect parents to keep an eye on their kids 24/7? Do you think you'll be able to stop one of your kids from doing that at 2am? Sometimes tho, i do agree w/ you, when the parents are too busy thinking about themselves. Did you not have s_x til marriage..uh actually I think you didnt wait considering you had a baby at 17, so if you didnt you shouldnt say others should wait til they are married. They wont listen and its no use. You dont blame parents, you blame the kids..we're the ones who had s_x and got pregnant.

 

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