Help -pg119806995831

5 Replies
Sabrea - December 19

I'm 18 and I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I decided that we would put the baby up for adoption. But I honestly don't want to. If I tell him that I want to keep it, he will break up with me. I love him more than anything and don't want this to happen. I also have yet to tell my mother. I don't know what to say to her, and I don't want her to hate me. What do I do and how do I tell her?

 

PreciousBaby19 - December 19

First of all, giving your baby up for adoption is the hardest thing you can do in your life. It will kill you honestly. especially if you dont want to give up your baby. If your going to do everything just to please this boy then its not worth it. This is your baby and you need to do what youf eel is right, not because hes going to break up with you. And if hes willing to force this decision on you then hes not a real man. You need to talk to your mother, you need go to her and sit her down and tell her that you love her and that you know you can always count on her when you need support. Tell her what your about to tell her is very very hard and you know shes going to be disappointed but you need her help. then tell her you are pregnant..tell her about your boyfriend and hes threatning to break up with you if you dont put the baby up for adoption..tell her you dont want to and that you want to keep your baby. Talk to her about it. shes your mother..she will always be there for you.

 

Sabrea - December 19

It's not that he's threatening me - he told me before it ever happened that he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it at this point in his life. I just sort of feel pulled in both ways. I feel like adoption would be best for both us and the baby, as we don't really have the money for it and we both live with my parents right now. I feelthat the baby would be in a better situation elsewhere. But I also don't really think I can give up my own baby. Thanks for the advice though :)

 

PreciousBaby19 - December 19

I know you wont be able to give up your baby if you dont want too. and in the end its up to you, but i would talk to your mother first and see what she has to say...she can help you get on your feet and she may not want you to give up the baby. of course parenthood is going to be hard but if its something very rewarding and in time you will warm up to the idea of being a parent young. You wont be able to bond with your baby and then give it up if theres any slight chance that you will be able to have this baby. second i know that talking about it beforte it happens is quite different because until the moment happens you just wont understand how hard it really is and what it will do to you and your baby. he may not be able to take care of a child right now but he choose to have s_x and he needs to be responsible and let you have the final choice....you said you think he would break up with you if you dont do what he says so there is some intimidation there, i would ask him what he would do if you choose to keep the baby. it might help more. i'm here if you need to talk.

 

Teddyfinch - December 19

all i can say is i agree with everything pb has said. if he couldn't handle it he shouldn't be having s_x. there is no way to prevent pregnancy 100% except by not having any.

 

Grandpa Viv - December 21

If the bf is living in your house, your mom should hardly be surprised to find you are pregnant - she may even be expecting it. Make this a family decision, since mom is going to be providing much of the support. Adopting out is tough, but if you can psych yourself into believing this is not your baby, you are carrying it as a favor for someone else, the separation will not be so hard. When you eventually have a family of your own you will be happy that you have not dragged the whole bunch down by taking on too much responsibility before you were prepared. Good luck!

 

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