Help -pg120874710852

16 Replies
AddysMummy - April 20

Well, I found out today my husband might be leaving for Afghanistan in Sept. for a year. He just got back from Iraq in Oct!!! Ugh, I just really needed to vent I guess, because I haven't even really gotten to enjoy my time with him. They say it's a 50/50 chance. I mean my husband did say that if he is definitely going we /will/ be pregnant before he leaves seeing as he'd be 100% covered on insurance which is good... but I still don't know what to do. I really don't. It's hard, being away and all.

 

Deserae90 - April 20

I'm sorry :[ that must be pretty hard. I hope he doesn't have to go!

 

amanda17 - April 20

Aw, that sucksss. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

 

AddysMummy - April 21

Thanks, I'm realllly stressed. Afghanistan is a whole different ballpark than Iraq. I am so worried he will get killed or hurt or something terrible and I don't want to live my life without him.. we just got things to a point in our lives where we are happy... IDK...

 

Deserae90 - April 21

I don't really know what I'd do if my fiance had to leave for a year to go to Afghanistan. I dated a guy who went to Iraq, but he was there for only 6 months and never did anything too crazy.

 

amanda17 - April 21

I bet he must be taking it pretty hard too, huh? Poor guy won't see his wife and daughter for a whole year. :(

 

AddysMummy - April 21

He really is. It hurts him a lot because last time there were so many times where he almost DIED. Ugh, we are both INCREDIBLY stressed about it.

 

JULESF - April 21

Hopefully he won'thave to go over,my husband is there now,his first deployment,we have been TTC,so hopefully when he gets home something will happen.I know it has to be hard for you,I have to take it day by day.We do get to talk every day so it helps.Good luck on trying to conceive.

 

AddysMummy - April 21

Thanks. It's hard because it's his second deployment and it feels like he got home yesterday. Ugh.

 

Cat24 - April 22

addys mummy i can understand why you are so upset but unfortunately its just the nature of his job, everything he has been taught so far is now being put into practice. i personally dont think i could cope and certainly not if we had children or were expecting. my hubbys brother is in the navy and he goes away for months at a time. i think at some point its the mans responsibility to decide whether that kind of lifestyle is what he really wants to be doing for the foreseeable future, because nothing can beat quality time together and watching your family grow. has he any intentions to leave any time soon?

 

durante baby - April 22

Cat- Im sorry but I dont think that is a MANs job to decide something like that...Once you are married with children. A big part of the strength in a marriage is the decision you have made and make TOGETHER. When you get married you are joining two minds as one. Addy I know it must be hard and I thank god everytime I hear things like this, that my husband and I dont have to go through something like that. I think that considering you two dont even know for a fact that he is going. You guys are best to not stress about it and just appreciate the time you guys have together. Then if he doesnt go that is great! But if he does you know his time at home was well spent, and he will remember as PERFECT until he returns.. =D

 

AddysMummy - April 22

Thanks everyone. I'm trying to enjoy the time I have with him but the thing is that I am always worrying about him going. But he told me that hopefully they will find out at his next drill date which would be so much better because then I wont stress if he is going or not, I'll just stress him DYING but not so often because he came back healthy last time..

 

Cat24 - April 23

i agree durante but i also know that there are men who do love to serve their country and they want to stick with it for their foreseeable future. i do think though when they get married and make the decision to have children, then they should try and forget about their wish to stay in such a job and should instead try and fit a job around his wife and family. my hubby's brother is engaged to be married and is in the navy, ive asked him if he has intentions to leave when he gets married and starts a family and he doesnt wish to. he says it is his dream to get promoted and do the best he can serving the Queen. i think its a shame when they put their career first over their family but then some men obviously choose that lifestyle.

 

britt_m - April 23

I was in the military and I'm married to a man whos in the military. We have a daughter and now we're expecting. It is very hard but you should keep strong and show him how much you love him as you don't want to stress him out more, I'm sure he's stressed enough. Being on the other side as a wife, is probably easier on me as I know how things work and have been there done that. But trust me it helps very much for you to be the strong one. Tell him you love him and enjoy your time together. You want him to be prepared mentally and emotionally if he does have to go, not thinking omg what have I done, I just left my hysterical wife : S. Its ok to cry, but let him know things will be just fine at home, that you'll miss him, and can't wait for him to come home.

 

durante baby - April 23

CAT- she obviously knew when she married him or was there when he decided,that these were his intentions for a living. Addy obviously doesnt have a problem with his choices in this but is simply sad to see him go...Who wouldnt be? With everything going on in america right now there are alot of husbands traveling to find work...I work with most of them, because all of the work in my trade is here in Las Vegas...So does that mean that they should rethink thier career choices due to thier family? I dont think so, I think the guys I work with and addys hubby are doing what it take to put food on the table. not because they love thier job so much they are willing to be away from thier wife and kids for it! Like Bitt said, It is hard but you deal with it in the best way you can, and the best way is not running from your job and putting your family on the street.

 

AddysMummy - April 23

Yeah I'm not upset about his career choice I'm just upset that he has to go. He was one of those stupid men that joined just to get money for College and it turned out that he had to go overseas. He is glad to support his country, he just is not looking forward to leaving me and his daughter again. Last time he was gone he didn't see the birth of his daughter and didn't see her grow up. It's hard on me too because I don't want to be alone, you know?

 

AddysMummy - April 23

I mean I don't want to be without HIM not alone really, I can be alone in our place fine.. it's just him that I will miss and doing our daily things and that.

 

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