Help I Don T Understand

9 Replies
Robin - September 17

Hello. I'm 16 and I did everything I could not to get pregnant and yet I am - six weeks! The most horrible part is that I DON'T WANT TO BE - I want it out of my body and have been crying and extremely depressed at the thought of going any further along with this pregnancy. I want to terminate it NOW. The next most horrible part is that there ARE 2 possible fathers - how embarrasing is that.. and one of them was a one night stand which was very stupid but it happens. And yeah, I used condoms but something must have went wrong!. I'm beside myself. I told my mother and she told me that under no circ_mstances am I to have an abortion and that she was enrolling me in the "alternative" school which is part of our high school and that I am to give the baby up for adoption. Can she force me to do this? I don't want to go through the next 8 months this way and leave my friends, my school and be hidden in disgrace but my mother says if I get an abortion, she'll disown me for good. My father is out of the picture and I have one old brother who could give a c__p about all this. If I could leave home, I would do so tomorrow but I can not support myself. How can I let my nother make this decision for me? I am crying now so I may sound a bit over the top. Anyway, has anyone been in this situation. They told us in school it was my body and my choice but my mother seems to feel differently. She literally slapped my face, called me a pig and said that abortion is not an option -- when I told her I wanted one she became enraged and laid down the law. Any help would be appreciated.

 

Viv - September 17

Robin, you must be feeling terrible. Some states have parental consent laws on abortion. Visit ... http://womensissues.about.com/cs/abortionissues/a/aateenabortion.htm ... One option you don't mention is BirthRight. Visit ... http://www.birthright.org/htmpages/ ... These folks would look after you in another town until you gave birth, you give the baby up and return home without shame. If your state allows you to have an abortion without parental consent, Planned Parenthood (1-800-230-PLAN) may know of organizations that help with the cost. If that's the way you go, your mom may sufficiently mad that you have to find somewhere else to live. I'm going to bet that the mother of one of your friends at school is sufficiently pro-choice that she would consider taking you in, or you could go to Child Protection and say you have no place to live, would they please find you a group home or foster parents. I'm just throwing out ideas here. Tell us what you think. [email protected]

 

To Viv - September 19

I am sorry but i kind disagree with what you are saying ( no disrepect intended) but I thik that running away from a problem is not the answer. The thing is with s_x there is always the chance of pregnancy, and if you are to have s_x willingly, you basically need or have accepted that so called "reality", so what consequences of your actions come about, you need to deal with.Robin- I have no idea what your mum is thinking, it is your body, but in a way I can kinda understand what she means. An abortion is not a means for birth control, and you should have thought along those lines BEFORE you slept with whoever. Shame only sticks onto you if YOU ALLOW IT!! I know of so many young girls who were responsible and got pregnant... the baby they had, changed their life.... it was not easy but it was well worth it. You need to tell your mother basically that you need support no matter what, and whatever decision you make, you need her to be there for you 100%. Hope this helps ....Shorty

 

AMAZED!! - September 19

Finally someone with a brain on this site. Ask your mother if the is willing to raise the baby on her own. If she says yes the give her the baby, legally at birth. If she says no, contact planned parenthood. If you dont want her retalliations, then tell her you miscarried. She has no business telling you how you can live your life. However make sure that this is the choice that you want to make. It is wiser not to raise a baby at 16 then to raise one. Good luck.

 

sweet16 - September 19

i doubt anyone will ever read this, but...i totally understand , well, not toatlly, os recently i thought i had gotten preganant in some obscure, and impossible way. (i jsut founbd out that its impossible), and i knew that if there was even the slightests chance i was pregnant, i wouldnt be for long if ya know what i mean. but then again, im still avirgin, so i didnt out myself at that risk that s_x does, ya know, so i dunno, but i do srta undersatnd, i wouldnt have wanated some thing ruining my life

 

Daile - September 20

This is a decision you have to make on your own, Robin. However, what AMAZED said is not altogether true. Having a child at 16 is not the end of the world. It will be hard, but you won't be the only one doing it. A lot of girls have children at your age, or younger, and still lead normal lives. If you truly feel you can't possibly take care of a baby, adoption is always a plan. If you feel you must terminate the pregnancy, then make sure you go to a licensed doctor to have it done, and remember this...just because the pregnancy wasn't ended doesn't mean it's over. You and your mother, and anyone else you've told, will always remember there was a baby. And someday, when you have a child, you may look back on that decision and regret it.

 

To robin - September 20

Im 16 years old and almost 8 months pregnant..like 'To viv' said there is always a chance of getting pregnant when you have s_x.I was stupid(i was on the pil and missed 1) but still had s_x and i know that was my fault but i would of never thought of gettin an abortion.I totally agree with your mum!!!And when you said you had done everything you could not to get pregnant-well obviously you did'nt because if you did then you would'nt be in the situation you are in now!i dont have any sympathy for you at all,not one bit.Like someone said abortion is NOT a form of birth control!!!

 

To AMAZED - September 20

How can you advise someone who has had an abortion to tell people they had a miscarriage? Thats so irresponsible. People shouldn't have to hide behind such awful lies.

 

Amazed - September 20

When a girls mother plays that kind of game with her, "I'll disown you", like my mother told me she would do, if i ever had an abortion, you have choices to make. Either have a mother that dosen't respect you, or a child that you cannot raise. Its an easy choice. Either tell a lie to someone who tried to ruin your life, or ruin it yourself. Hmmm, irresponsible, I think not.People shouldn't have to fear someone who has no clue. I'd rather hide behind a lie, then ruin my life to appease my momma. Besides the point. If you can get RU-86 the DR. will tell you that when you take it that it forced your body into miscarriage. So its not as big of a lie as you think.

 

.. - September 23

You can always have the baby.. and put it in foster care til your ready to take care of your baby, and you can see it everyday.. ive never heard about it before but ive read it quite a few times..

 

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