I Just Dont Understand

7 Replies
xoxticiaxox - February 7

Im 30 weeks pregnant, and me and my hubby have been talking about getting married before the baby is born for a long time...but we couldnt because we couldnt afford it....now I have found a way to do it....and he said no, he doesnt want to get married! I now feel like the whole time he was just saying he wanted to get married because he knew there was no possible way....now that there is....the whole story has changed....I dont understand! He was SOOO into it less than a week ago! Was he ever intending to marry me? All my suspicions of him leaving me when the baby is born have come true....I dont know what to do!

 

ChattyKathy - February 7

Guys are just weird. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or doesn't want to be with you... Sometimes guys feel like they need to be the one finding the way to get married and surprising YOU. Sometimes pushing them towards it (even when you've talked about it before) makes them feel really awkward. Who knows... i'm actually going through something similar with my boyfriend right now. Don't worry too much about it. He does love you, he is with you, right? He'll come around in his own time, I'm sure.

 

xoxticiaxox - February 7

its weird tho, this is not him, and I dont know! He never does anything on his own! So I know that not the reason, and I just think that hes leaving or something! Thanks tho xxx

 

Brittany - February 7

It's really important to get married when your BOTH ready. Marriage is huge and when one isn't ready and the other is, it just doesn't end good. Thats just my opinion though. Guys think way differently than girls do, they need time and they need space and when they feel pressured, they say things just to make their girlfriends happy. You can't just get married because your scared he'll leave you after the baby is born, marrying him isn't going to make things better. You wouldn't want to get married, have things not work out then pay even more money getting divorced! Now thats even more expensive! I get looked down on for being an unmarried mother of two but my fiance' and I will get married when we are good and ready. Give him time, don't pressure him. Have the baby and see how things work out. I've seen a lot of relationships end because the couple wasn't ready to get married in the first place, you might be ready but he might not be. Him putting off marrying you doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he just needs to make sure that that is what he wants, he needs to think it through which is a good thing. Good luck, I hope things work out for you. I was in your spot once, I know how your feeling. I am giving my fiance' plenty of time to think, we talk about it, it's important to talk it through but not come off as pressuring him. Good luck hun and congrats on your baby!!!

 

maren - February 8

i agree pretty much with brittany plus getting married wont change anything not to be mean but if he wants to leave after the baby gets here he still will whether you guys are married or not it will just be more work to leave after your married. hey who knows maybe he wants you to have your princess wedding so he doesnt want to do it at the court house (just a__suming thats the option you found) getting married AND having a child are huge life events he was probably just getting used to the fact that you both are going to be parents that he wasnt even thinking about getting married soon. IF you two love each othere there is nothing wrong with waiting till you both are ready

 

xoxticiaxox - February 8

Ya know what, I confronted him about it last night! And maybe I was just down and took it all in a bad way! But thats exactly what happened...he wants to be married just as badly as I do still, he just wants a wedding where we are surrounded by family, and he wantsto gain my parents trust before we do get married! I understand totally! And I was not forcing him into anything, I just thought he wanted to be married right away like I did, and when he said no without any explanation...I got soem ideas! But thank you girls sooo much I allrechaite all your replys xoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoox

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 8

Thats good, and its good to that he wants to gain your parents trust...best of luck

 

Noodle - February 8

maybe hes got cold feet. explain your concerns to him and ask him if he is just stringing you along, as it would be better in the long run if he was just honest with you from the start.

 

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