I M 16 And Pregnant And My Brother Hates Me

113 Replies
me1993 - May 5

Hi. I am 16 and found out I was pregnant last month. I'll be 17 in September, and the baby is due in December. My older brother and his fiancee hate me for it though. They are both 23. My brother was already not speaking to me, because he says I'm immature and irresponsible, and now he won't even speak to me even though he knows I'm pregnant! I have done some stupid stuff in the past, but nothing out of ordinary for my age, and I always apologized for it. I think he's mad because I don't like his fiancee because she thinks she's better than everybody else, and I know she really hates teen pregnancy, so I'm sure she's the reason he's not speaking to me. His fiancee is a high school history teacher, but she's going to college at night to get her doctorate (she graduated with her bachelors a year ago). So my brother and her are getting married in October, and she didn't even ask me to be a bridesmaid! I thought they would start speaking to me after they found out I was pregnant, but they aren't. I know what they think about it, because they talk to my mom and older sister, and then they tell me. Both of them think I should put it up for adoption, and they think I got pregnant on purpose. They also said they will not go to the hospital when the baby's born and they will not give any money towards the baby. They have more money than anyone else in the family (they own their own home, and it's huge), so why won't they give some money to help the baby out? It's not like it's helping me out. How should I get my brother to speak to me?

 

Krissy25 - May 5

I think it is interesting that they are calling you the immature one in the family, because they are the ones that aren't acting too mature. It's sad that someone who works with high school students would be so narrow minded about teen pregnancy and the emotions you are going through. I don't know why they are acting the way they are and don't care to help you in anyway but now you have more important things to worry about than them. Try and focus on what your next step will be and what you can do now to make sure things go as smooth as possible. Hopefully they will come around as you get further along and realize there is actually a human being in there and that family is one of the most important things in our lives. Good luck to you, i hope everything works out ok.

 

amanda17 - May 5

Well hun, it's no one's responsibility to support you or give you money. Some people just don't agree with teen parenting, and there's really nothing you can do about it... Personally, if it were me I wouldn't concern myself with them. It isn't about who is going to support you or who is going to help you out. This is entirely your decision and therefore completely your responsibility. If you don't have enough money to care for a child and no one is willing to help you out, you have to make the decision. Why do you even care what your brother or his fiancee think anyway? I am in the same boat as you, I'm 17 and my girl is going to be here in a month... You think everyone in my family is thrilled about it? They aren't. My older sister tried to punch me in the stomach when she found out I was pregnant, my mom had to hold her back and I had to lock myself in my room until she calmed down. My dad is trying to get social services to take my daughter away from me. My brothers won't even acknowledge when I'm in the same room as them. Just because they think I can't do it isn't going to make me feel any differently about anything. If they don't want to give me their support then I'm not going to bother myself trying to acquire it. So instead of occupying yourself with what your brother thinks, think of yourself and your child, because from now on you two are the only ones that really matter.

 

angelmonkey - May 5

i agree its knowone elses responsability but your to support your child.........just because they have lots of money it doesnt mean they have to give it to you too suport your child...........its just the way the world works hun

 

amanda17 - May 5

Oh and one more thing, I don't know if this is true or not but you seem to think that being pregnant is an excuse to get attention. It's not. Not everyone coos at the sight of a pregnant woman, especially a pregnant teenager. Throughout this pregnancy the majority of the attention you will receive will be negative. That's just how it goes, don't get bent out of shape every time someone is disappointed in you.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - May 5

They may be rude in not speaking to you, but in all honesty if you think just because they are the ones with the most money means they need to help with the baby is very irresponsible of you. I am 19 and I got pregnant at 18 with my daughter who was born in August, She is now 8 months and I am 21w pregnant again. Its not easy, but we do it. I have never even looked at anyone with money as needing to be obligated to support MY CHILD. Young or not, you have to grow up. Not to be rude but if you were my sister I wouldn't speak to you either, especially if I knew you were just trying to cash in on me.

 

me1993 - May 5

It's not that I expected attention. It's that I thought they would get over being mad at me once they realize that I'm having a baby and that's more important than their anger. I've never told them to give me money, but I just figured they would probably offer since they would care about their niece/nephew. I've been telling my Mom how immature they are (Krissay, I agree with you that they're immature), but she says they have a right to their opinion just as much as I do. My brother's fiancee doesn't like teen moms, because in her words (she said this before I got pregnant), they take too much government aid that shouldn't even be available (she has a degree in politics). They think they are so much better than me. If you can believe it, my Mom asked them when they are planning on having kids they said another 5 years! They said at 23 they are way too young to have kids. I thought that was such a slap in the face to me.

 

angelmonkey - May 5

you really need to grow up in my opinion

 

me1993 - May 5

I don't understand why it's me who needs to grow up. I think they need to grow up, I'm having a baby, they already makes me more of a woman than my brother's fiancee. I think she's just jealous because she realizes that. Also, I'm really angry because my boyfriend's mother doesn't want me around her house anymore. I think that's so stupid. If she doesn't want me around then I'm not going to let her see the baby. I told my mom this, and she told my brother and fiancee, I heard them talking when I was in my room. My brother and his fiancee said that I shouldn't burn that bride with my boyfriend's mother because she has offered to babysit for free everyday while my boyfriend and I got to school or work. They also said that it's not just my baby ,it's his baby, too. But that's stupid, I'm the one giving birth. Then my boyfriend's mom came over to my mom's house and wanted to talk finances and wanted me there! I don't want to be around that woman, she doesn't even want me in her house.

 

AddysMummy - May 5

I agree you need to grow up. To sit there and say "why wont they give you money" well honey you opened your legs you have to deal with the consequences not anyone else. It's not their job. It's yours.

 

angelmonkey - May 5

you seem like a spoiled brat and addys right you opened your legs so you pay the price..................

 

me1993 - May 5

I don't get where I'm the brat. All my friends say it's my brother and his fiancee who are the brats by not supporting me. Like seriously, who doesn't support their family member when they're pregnant? And the stupid thing is one day when my brother and his fiancee are pregnant and going to have a baby, they would probably get mad if I didn't support them.

 

angelmonkey - May 5

have you heard your self jeesh!! you are a brat your throwing your toys out your pram cos your brother and fiance aren't helping you out or suporting you!! maybe if you were older in a relationship had left school had a good job and maybe if you could suport your baby by yourself you would get suport.............oh and by the way it does not make you more of a women because your pregnant you moron!!

 

ChattyKathy - May 5

If your brother was already not speaking to you, I don't understand why you'd think he'd suddenly begin just because you're pregnant. Sure, it isn't fair for him to be making accusations about your pregnancy, but its not fair for you to expect him to take care of your child. Its your responsibility, not his. If you want a better relationship with your brother then you need to prove to him that you can be mature about this. Take steps to be independent and prepare for your child. But if all you want is money, its probably best that he not speak to you.

 

me1993 - May 5

I am taking responsiblity. My boyfriend's mom will be babysitting while I got to school or work, I'm getting on WIC, Medicaid, and food stamps, and I'm babysitting my little brother and little sister all summer long, makng $90 a week. I'm doing this so I can buy cute maternity clothes because I'm mature enough and responsible enough to not make my mom do that for me. I don't know why my brother doesn't see that. He told my mom I should be working at a grocery store or something while I'm pregnant because I can make more money that way, but that's stupid because I can't work on my feet all day when I'm pregnant. My mom told them that, and she said my brother's fiancee just rolled her eyes. What does she know, she's never been pregnant. She thinks because she has a college degree she's so much better than everyone else.

 

angelmonkey - May 5

lmao!! oh yeh im responsible because i will be shoving my kid on its gran all day while i go 2 school and because i will get food stamps and spend any money i have on cute maternity clothes instead of stuff 4 my baby!! haha are you for real girl!! that is not being responsible!! and yes you can work while pregnant just not untill the end!! thats what maturnity leave is for! you real need to look up the word responsible in a dictionary!! MORON!!!!

 

Krissy25 - May 5

Me1993, i was reading what you said about your boyfriend's mom and although i know it's hard you need to find a way to get along with her. Her babysitting is worth so much, maybe you, your bf and her can sit down and talk about making this all work. Maybe the 2 of you could offer to help around the house, you could do something like fold laundry. I know your probably thinking "why should i do that when she doesnt' want me around?" the truth is that it would be a really nice gesture and a way of saying thanks for how much she is going to help the 2 of you. As for working, i worked on my feet until the day my baby was born, it can be done. But if you think it would be too uncomfortable maybe look for a job where you can be sitting more. I mean it's good that you plan on doing something that earns some money but $90 a week is so little especially with a baby on the way. I think it would be a good idea to look for something else or maybe babysit during the day and possibly do something else a few evenings a week. I know this must be so hard for you when it seems like everyone is against you, but prove to them that you can do this, show them all you are strong.

 

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