I M Not Pregnant But I REALLY Want To Be

20 Replies
just_jump - March 17

I just turned 18 on the 4th of March. My mom says I'm still a baby. I, however, believe otherwise. I'm in a wonderful relationship with my fiance, Bobby. We talk all the time about having a baby. I think though...at the moment I'm a little more into it than he is. I would LOVE to have a baby. I believe in my heart that I'm ready...but he thinks we should wait at least a year. But I want one now. I have the strongest urge to be a mother. I cry when I see babies and when I see them I get this empty feeling inside me and I feel like I should be holding one in my arms. I just don't know how to deal.

 

MelissaP - March 17

I think every girl goes through these feelings hun. I went through it as well when I was your age. But the reality is that you have plenty of time to have a child. I think you should get through your schooling first and complete whatever goals you have for yourself before jumping into parenthood. I know the urge can be strong, but trust me, when you have a good career and stability, you will be able to enjoy it that much more. All I can say is keep yourself busy with school, traveling, work, etc. Don't sell yourself short by tying yourself down with such a huge responsibility right now. Give it a few years. Take care!

 

Astred - March 17

I had my son four weeks after I turned 18 and though I wouldn't trade him (now 16 years old) for anything in the world. I missed out on so much! Wait a couple of years and if you still want to have a baby. I will be your biggest cheerleader but it's not as easy as it looks to take care of a baby. And it's not as fun to miss out on your youth because you are pregnant or with a young baby!

 

kendra.marie - March 18

dont u think even if your pregnant you still have to wait almost a year; so what makes the difference if you wait? youll be older & maybe wiser then you are now. good lukc and i wish you the best. =]

 

just_jump - March 18

My point though is that I don't have those wants and urges to do things like go out and party or be a...kid. I don't want any of that. I never have. And when I used to go out and party everyone would tell me to stop worrying and call me "mom" because i was always so worried about everyone. I don't think that I have the mind of a kid anymore. I'm past that. And honestly I don't know why or how I got here.

 

LaurenW1 - March 18

i understand what youre feeling, i really do- i agree with melissa, i think everyone goes through that so i totally hear you! and i agree with kendra too....but i wanted to ask you, how are you going to get pregnant if your husband doesn't want to? so you will have to wait a year anyway? having a baby should definitely be a joint decision when BOTH of you are ready!! just think about it :) best of luck!

 

sdonahu1 - March 20

I am 18 turning 19 at the end of the month and my fiance and I are ttc. I know how it is to be young and know what you want and everyone around you says its a bad idea. My fiance and I have been together for almost two years and we have been ttc since April of last year. I had a few miscarriages but now I am 3 weeks late! I was enrolled in college but stopped going so I could work to help pay the bills. Definitely the right decision for me. Point being, If you know what you want then go for it, don't let anyone hold you back. People do not have to agree with you but if your family really loves you and cares about you, then they will support you no matter what. Keep us updated!

 

LaurenW1 - March 20

i agree with you sdon... all i was saying is she needs to wait until her husband is ready also to have a baby too- age doesn't matter . if youre ready, then go for it... i just think both people should be wanting to bring a child into this world before you do it. thats all. good luck just jump and keep us all posted! i would talk to your fianceand tell him everything your feeling, maybe it would help him feel more ready if he knows how ready you are! good luck!!

 

ellys_love - March 24

I completely understand what you're going through. I wasn't always the mom of the group but i could stay home with my mom helping around the house and not care to go out. I always wanted a baby (everyone says i'm going to end up with at least 6 like my mom) but i knew that i was too young, i still am and i still don't know how i'm going to be able to raise my child, but i can tell you i've never been happier with such an unexpected gift. I'm not going to tell you what you should do since you have already made up your mind about this, so my advice is: talk with your fiance tell him how you feel and plan ahead. Make sure you both have a stable job and a very stable relationship since a baby will put a lot of stress on both of you. In the mean time, try to keep yourself busy with other things.. maybe wedding plans since you're engaged. If you keep waiting for something to happen you'll forget to live your life. I wish you the best of luck! keep us posted =]

 

ellys_love - March 24

one more thing, when i got those really big urges to have a baby my bf and i got a puppy together. She's amazing and i know that a dog can't possibly take the place of child but having something to nurture really helped me out. i can't begin to explain how much she means to me, she's my 4legged baby. She'll have to learn how to share her mommy though =]

 

just_jump - March 24

Well...on that note....we did get a puppy...and it helped so much. your right. i had something to care for and it worked to ease my mind about the baby thing. unfortunately....we had to give her away because she was gonna get too big and we can't have a big dog in the apartment we are moving into. sigh but yeah. i still have my cat...which doesn't help much because he takes care of himself but...i guess...whatever i'll keep everyone posted. THANKS :) Alanah

 

kalokairi - March 24

get a shih-tzu, shes my little 12.5 lb bundlelove with the mentality of a 2 year old, literally, smaller than a cat, at least all the cats i had. besides a dog is nothing like a cat cause they really really do need you to care for them like theyre babies. i always had cats & now that i have her i cant imagine not.

 

ellys_love - March 24

my dog is actually a shih tzu too.. i love her sooo much i cant imagine not having her. she is like a small little person, she understands everything. she 's actually pretty small too.

 

just_jump - March 25

i don't know. i don't even know if he'll let me get another dog. he has the shortest patience of anyone i know. i can't stand him half the time. i'm starting to feel like i'm losing who i am in this relationship. he won't let me be me. he wants me to be some preppy little princess...because when he met me i was "emo" and now i'm wearing pink and stuff. i think that he may like the inside of me but he'd be ashamed if people saw the real me on the outside. and i don't know if i'm ready for a baby if i don't even know who i am yet. how would that be translated to my child.

 

ellys_love - March 25

i think that he should be able to accept you for who you really are. no one has the right to try to change you into someone you're not. maybe you should wait to have a baby until you guys have a more stable relationship. if you guys are having problems now then having a baby is not the solution, you might not want to end up raising a baby alone like me. dont get me wrong, i've never been happier in my life but i would love it if my baby had a dad & i'd have someone to help me. he doesn't want me to have the baby, but its my choice not his. he says he's not ready to be a dad, that he's just starting college and has his whole future ahead of him. truthfully, neither one of us expected this but i'm more than willing to put my studies on hold for my child. =]

 

sugar - March 26

I can completely see where you're coming from, i was never into going out and would often rather sit at home with a chick flick than go out partying. The way i got through the time when in my heart i knew i wasn't ready for a baby was preparing. When you're pregnant you have 9 months to prepare for your baby. But why should it start then, i prepared by getting a good job, learning to drive finding a nice home and getting healthy habits. I kept telling myself all of this was to get ready for my baby even though i wasn't trying for one. Now I'm 21 and expecting my first bundle and we are in a great position for it. I couldn't possible have done what i'm doing now a few years ago although at the time i was convinced i could have.

 

Brenna - May 5

you are not ready for a baby.I married a great guy when I was18,he was 25.( I was a virgin)12 months after we got married we started trying for a baby,a month after that we got pregnant.My daughter Madilyn is now almost 13 months old,and I will have been married 3 years next month.We love our daughter so much and she has brought great joy to our lives,my husband and I love each other very much also,but at the same time,there are times when I'm stepping on Cheerios and washing poop off sleepers,that I wish I would have held everything off for a couple of years.Don't get me wrong,My husband and daughter are EVERYTHING to me,but I think you need to make sure that you have done everything you want to do in life first.It was kind of surprising how much you are tied down.Having a baby isn't all grins and giggles and Johnson's baby shampoo---it's work,and it's hard,it's staying up all night holding your baby because her nose is so stopped up she can't breathe when you lay her down.It's dealing with projectile vomiting,and 3 a.m. feedings.It's having to hold back tears while you watch your baby get shots.it's being sick with worry when your 6 day old baby has to have surgery and they tell you there is a chance she might never wake up.It's laying awake at night praying that you will be a good mother.Being a Mom is the hardest thing I have ever done,although I must admit it's also the best thing,but you need to make sure that you are ready for every aspect of motherhood and not just the cute,fun parts.

 

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