Just Don T Know What To Do Anymore Can Someone Please Help

11 Replies
Jm762 - February 26

Well I'm pregnant. I'm 15 and this was unplanned.y family has been supportive throughout the past few weeks. I'm really early in my pregnancy. I think I'm about 4 weeks maybe just a little more. My boyfriend has been awful throughout these past few weeks. At first he was really supportive then his parents found out. They have been pressuring him into abortion and he's been pressuring me into one because he's sick of his parents. Whenever he is around me he's great though but once he gets home his parents start pressuring him again. I don't want an abortion at all! Plus I'm already starting to love this baby. Before all this, he always told me be loved me and that we were soul mates and just spoiled me with so much love. Now it seems as though he's lost respect for me and the baby. He always talks badlyand he's just flat out rude now. To top it all off, he's making me choose between him and the baby. I don't know what to at all. I still love him so much even though he has hurt me. I know he's just stressed and pressuredby his parents cause he's fine whenever we are together but I'm sick of once were apart and hes rude again. I want my baby but I also want him. I'm so stressed outby allthis! It's not good for me or the baby. It's like sending me I to a depression. Can anyone please help me?

 

Jm762 - February 26

And I'm sorry if there are typos I typed this from my phone

 

V9653 - February 26

I'm not directing this particular part of the advice to your situation because I don't know it, but this is why no girl should ever get too excited about a nice boyfriend and then WANT to have a baby with him. To you-there really is nothing you can do but try to think about your baby first and since it relies on you, you have to think about yourself. Your boyfriend still has freedom to roam and decide-you don't and no one can tell you what it sounds like he might do. All you can do is sit back and wait. Don't try to pressure him or nag him about the way he's not being supportive because that will only make him feel more of a push and pull and will paint you as the enemy in his mind, along with his parents. But since you are the bearer of all the burden, he may blame you more. Just try to take care of yourself, not worry about him and if he's in a good mood try to talk to him in a way that shows you're both going through things and allows him to open up about his stresses and feelings. In the end he may get worse or become more supportive, there's no way to tell, but as the months go on, that love that is already growing for your baby will get stronger and if you have self-worth and a maternal instinct, you won't care as much about him if he continues having an att_tude or pushing for abortion. There's really not much else that can be said or done. Guys show their true colors when something like this happens, and it sucks that it works that way, no matter how long you've known him. You are about to learn (or already learned when that stick came up positive) that pregnancy creates all kinds of feelings and panic that you have never experienced and that you never imagined. It is the same way for the guy. In theory some seem so happy at the thought of having a child with the girl they love, but they are smart enough to want to wait. For many guys, it's different when it actually happens and reality sets in. As a woman you need to learn now the most important lesson all women must know-don't ever depend on anyone, especially a man. If YOU want to keep this baby and your family is supportive then you go ahead and plan to have this baby and take care of it on your own. That way if he is supportive and gets over the initial chaos in his head and life then it will be an added bonus-if not then it won't be a shock to your system and your child will not suffer from your broken heart!

 

Grandpa Viv - February 26

Treasure the moments you are together, and limit the time on the phone to making the next date. Defer talk about termination to "Let's talk about that when you come over". He is young enough that his mom can easily influence his thinking - true of all of us until we get past the age of 50. Keep him involved with the baby as it grows - let him oil your belly. As the birth grows near ask him to be with you at delivery, and he will attach to it as much as you will. Hope this sounds do-able. Good luck!

 

durante baby - February 26

Rightnow is a time where you need to think about what is best for the baby...honestly no matter how much you love your boyfriend or how great he is, forget him....There is no way to know that you two will actually be together in the future either way. That should be a part in you decision...can you handle being a single mother? can you handle being a mom at 15? If YOU really are dead set against abortions dont let anyone convince you to do otherwise. Dont get me wrong i love my husband and i would do anything in the world for him, and i would die for him in a heartbeat, but when it comes down to it if i had to choose between his life or my kids i would pick my kids....and he would do the same with me......I feel for you and i hope things get better...GL

 

Mandaburr - February 26

Ok this might not be the best advice. But here goes. If you do choose him, do not have an abortion. Ive had one. It took a major toll on my mental and phsycal health. Not that they make you sick or what ever. Its just I was kind of in the same situation as you. I had gotten pregnant and the father was away at basic training we had talked about it before and he said he wasn't ready for a child. So I did what I thought was best and had an abortion. I was depressed for months. And still am even though its been almost a year. What I'm trying to get at though is, if you do choose him over the child do not have an abortion, give he/she up for adoption.

 

pinkk - February 26

You're obviously in a very tough situation and since you's are so young it doesn't make anything better. V9 is right about how guys show their true colors when they're put into situations like these, but we as girls just have to deal with it and get through it. It's really your decision. My advice is try educating him about abortions, maybe he'll realize that's not the right path. You can't rely on him for loving you for the rest of your life.. but your baby will.

 

Brenna - February 27

No man is more important than your child,If I were you I would sit down with him and his parents and tell them that if they want to be in your baby's life that's fine,if not that is fine too.Don't let your worry over losing him affect your decision about the baby.After the baby arrives,his parents might come around.hang in there!

 

Jm762 - February 28

Thank you so much for the advice everyone. =] Thing have gotten better here. =] He no longer wants abortion which is good but now he wants adoption. =[

 

amanda17 - February 28

He doesn't have to be a part of his child's life. He can be like a lot of other jerk guys who leaves his child with it's mother and goes about his life like it never happened. He should *never* try to pressure you in to doing something you don't want to do. It has to be a mutual agreement. If it isn't straight off the bat then there should be a compromise. Sorry to say this, but I think you should kick him out of your and your baby's life and go about things on your own. He's being selfish, stupid and is putting unnecessary pressure on you. You need to forget about him and do what is best for your baby. No one is more important than your child and no one will ever be.

 

amanda17 - March 1

CREEPY!! V is it baby harvesting season again? :D

 

infois - April 9

Your life do not have to suck just say out loud now Jesus I believe and I receive you in my heart please help me I also know a good website leroyjenkins.com

 

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