Just Have To Mention

8 Replies
Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 23

I know that there are some younger girls on here who get pregnant young. I read many posts putting down teenagers who are having s_x between 13-19. Automatically assuming they are having pre marital s_x. I don't think that girls 13-16 should be having s_x in my opinion. But those who get pregnant face the consequenses of their action. I would just like to add, that those teens who are engaging in s_xual activity and have done something to try to prevent pregnancy shouldn't be pounded on, at least they were trying to be smart about it. But the fact that some can just jump out and say that we are in the wrong is very hypocritical due to the fact that alot of them who have mentioned something got pregnant at an early age as well. Yes, it is to safeguard us teens and to prepare us. But I am 18, I got pregnant after I got married. Yes, he and I did have s_x before but I took on the responsibility of using protection. I got pregnant while using protection. But this is where I differ from most teen mothers. Some think that just because I am 18 that I am in a financial problem, live with my parents. I have lived with my husband since I was 17, I am a Court Clerk, going to college and taking on an internship to become a para legal to start my career as a lawyer. I have more then 10,000 dollars in savings and my husband as gets paid 500-600 dollars a week. me getting about 1,000 every two weeks. I may not agree with teens having s_x young, although I waited til I was 18 and I knew for a fact that this was the only guy I was going to be with. It doesn't give anyone the right to throw out harshful comments and telling them they would be better off getting an abortion or giving their baby up for adoption. They made the choice to have s_x, they took on the responsibility to have the posibility of becoming pregnant. So instead of tearing us down, give advice to those who need it. I can see telling a 13 year old who wants a baby that she is to young, but don't tell a 13 year old who is pregnant how wrong it is...they know that, they don't need everyone reminding them. They have to stay emotionally stable for their baby...and by tearing them down and making them look as though they aren't fit or aren't suitable is rude. They need help just like everyone...you can't change that they are pregnant and neither can they, but don't say they are better off getting an abortion or giving their child up for adoption. They are still the mothers of these children and a mother knows best what the right thing to do with their children is. Some are more suitable then mothers who are 20 or 30, and even 40 years old. They are young yes, and they shouldn't be having s_x...but they don't need us telling them that...we can just try and prevent the ones who want kids...and the ones who are pregnant already help them out and make them be better mothers in the long run...they will eventually find out that it isn't pleasant and lovely all the time. But at least we can prepare them for it. I'm not trying to start anything here, I am simply just implying it isn't right for someone to tell you to either kill or simply just get rid of your own child at any age.

 

freebird - February 23

I agree that teens should not be attacked on this board as it is a support board and a place where people should be able to come for advice and information. I do disagree with you though that giving a baby up for adoption is 'simply getting rid of' the baby. It's a really difficult and unselfish decision for a young mom to make when she knows that she is not in a position to raise a baby, regardless of the reason (financial, emotional, etc) and there's nothing simple about it. I thankfully, have not been in that position but I do have several close friends who have adopted children and they thank the birth mothers every day for allowing them the privilege to raise their child. Not everyone who gets pregnant is ready to take care of a baby. The other side of the coin is that the girls who choose adoption or abortion should also not be attacked and made to feel as though they're horrible people. That's not right either. I see that you're not trying to start anything, neither am I. Just enjoying a little friendly debate :)

 

taraleej - February 23

the only time anyone is put down is when they make up stupid and fake stories...or like you said...when a very young teen is wanting to get preg...but other then that reasonible questions get reasonible answers...

 

babyonboard16 - February 24

I am 16, but I have only had s_x with one person, and he is the father of the child I am carrying, I think that people who try for children young are dumb, but I wasn't trying and I took the morning after pill after the condom broke.

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 27

Freebird I agree with you, I was saying telling a teen who is willing to take care of her child that she is better off getting an abortion or give the baby up for adoption is best...if they chose on there own then it is OK, but by telling a pregnant teen to give the baby up for adoption and or getting an abortion is wrong, and that is where the whole simply just get rid of comes into play. Because in a sense that is what they are telling them even though they want this child.

 

Meagan18 - March 3

being finacially stable doens't mean your ready for a baby. It's great to be financially prepared, but that's only a very small piece to having a baby. Most people who are not financially stable provide the best love and home for their baby. There is always a different situation to every story that we are not apart of. I do agree with most of this post though. The age of girls starting to have s_x is just crazy, but being pounded on when they finally reach out for help is not really the answer. Just put yourself in their shoes. If it was you how would you want people to react to you? What kind of advice would you seek or hope to be getting back? Well, there's my 2 cents lol

 

mosley12 - March 5

i agree nerdy girl..i was 19 when i got pregnant and had ds 2 weeks before turning 20..my dh is in the military, nd i have one year left of school. we are just fine financialy and can provide for ourselves, and ds has the best of everythying. but people think just because we are young, than we cant provide.

 

mummy2paris - March 5

Can i just say i think its fab that your all set for life and all but it isnt all about the money!!!! I will be honest i just about get buy after everything is payed for i work night shifts 3 nights a week n my boyfriend has a good job something he enjoys ect ect but my daughter still has everything and more even thou we dont have a hole load of money!! if i could never work untill she was 5 id love that coz to be honest im not sayin ur child isnt gettin this but im much preferre watchin my daughter turn into her in these important year then work but hey that can happen im 17 18 in may and had my daughter when i was 15

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - March 6

Yeah I may be set, But I will be a stay at home Mom until my baby goes to school. So yeah I will be there for her because we do have the money to allow me to stay home and not be in a financial mess with everything. Once she/he starts school then I will pick up where I left off and I wouldn't be just another teen who had a baby and gave up on my education. There is thousands of possibilities for teens to get their education even with a baby. I had to watch my sisters kids for 6 months day in and day out because she left them. A newborn and a 2 year old. I had to leave school, but did I let that stop me...I homeschooled instead and didn't make an excuse for myself and for me, this whole lawyer thing...I live in a small town, its not like I'm going to be gone all hours of the day. I will handle one to two cases a month which I do 30-40 a month being a Court Clerk and its all only 8-5...so don't think I won't be there because I will be there when my baby is born. Not to mention I will be at a law firm that isn't even open 7 days a week, or 8 hours a day so I could still volunteer at school and do everything that I need too. So before you think that I am just going off and doing my own thing, this is all just to set me up for when I get into this career. Yes, I would rather be there for my child and I will be there every minute until he/she starts school...but even then I want to homeschool, so I will be working and homeschooling him/her. So I will be there more then you think. I was just tired of people saying that all of us teens are going no where and can't do it...I know I can, and I was just stating that I am more ready then most people and money does have a lot to do with it when you have a child. I'm not saying they will be spoiled and get everything...but when the time comes they will have their room, their clothes and all the accessories and basic needs that they need. I won't be hurting on doctors bills and I can allow myself to stay home. So please don't jump to conclusions and think that I won't be there. Because I will be there a lot more then most. Because I do plan on and hope to homeschool unless there is the chance that my child needs more. But I will be there. I will be there and know though that I can get back up and raise my child. But I would rather have a stable life for my child then moving constantly, never getting anywhere and thats from my point of view. And I'm glad you are doing so well, but I'm what people call an over acheiver and I like it that way because it allows you o test yourself and do everything and anything you set your mind too. Oh and on top of it, I will be babysitting my boss's daughter in April, so when I quit here I am still doing something all the time. Just the way I like to do things and the way I would prefer to raise my baby. i'm not going to sit around and wait for life to come at me, I would rather go after life and accomplish as much as I can. Doesn't make me a bad Mom or a Mom who won't be there, because as is I already sing, read, talk and teach my baby. I plan to read on a daily basis and do EVERYTHING for my child and put them before anything, the exact same way I helped raise my nieces.

 

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