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daleb0202 - July 22

I am the gardian for my 13.5 year old niece.  4 years ago her parents were killed in an accident and my brother wanted her to live mith my wife and me.  2 years ago my died from cancer and we have been alone since then.  Niece has insurance money in trust until she turns 25 or graduates from college. (More than $500,000).  she get a small allowance now and larger amount at 16 and 18 plus college is paid for.  She wants me to take her on a babycation to the cost, spend the a week on the beach playing in the sand and nights playing in the hotel.  She said this is the perfect time for her as she will be ovulating during the week at the beach.  Is a babycation what I think it is? is she planning on having me get her pregnant? is that what a babycation is. 

 

daleb0202 - July 22

coast not cost

 

Grandpa Viv - July 22

Hmm! A babycation for many is the vacation one takes before the new addition to the family changes your life style. If your niece is still ovulating she is not pregnant yet. Maybe she has a different idea of what a babycation is, though why would she have gone to the trouble of figuring out that she would be ovulating at that time. Maybe she does not want to be at the beach while she has her period. Ask her what is on her mind. This may be a teachable moment for a sex ed and morality discussion. I can see she might have on her mind that she is to become a replacement for your wife. That would be an inappropriate and childish sentiment to be discouraged 

 

daleb0202 - July 22

She has a friend who is 4 months along and thinks being pregnant is way cool

 

Grandpa Viv - July 23

It seems that she is imagining a babycation represents an opportunity to become pregnant. You are in a very tricky situation and need to tread carefully. Explain to her the legal danger to yourself if her plan is executed. If you can't find the words to change her mind set, think about counseling. 

 

Grandpa Viv - July 23

Many grown women don't know about the timing of ovulation. Your niece has researched this thoroughly starting with the pregnancy of her friend. I think you are going to have to ask her what games she is thinking to play in the hotel on her babycation. Is that how her friend got pregnant?

Once you have determined exactly how she imagines how this is going to play out, you can then gently explain the rules of our society and the need for her to get a high school education, a job, marriage and finally childbearing in the right order if she hopes to have a happy and successful life. She's just kid, and it's your job to set her on the right path. 

 

daleb0202 - July 23

Had a long talk with her.  Yes she is/was planning to get pregnant on the babycation. She wants me to be the father of her baby.  Turns out her friends baby is the girls father and she had her mother approval to get pregnant, if fact it turns out it was the mother's idea to increase the family size. 

Niece has all ready purchased a home pregnancy test, ovulation test kit and has maternity clothes in her closet.  Said if I don't want to be the daddy she will find someone who does.  So I told her I would get her pregnant during the babycation only on the following conditions.

1.  She go to the doctor before babycation and get his approval that she can carry yhe baby to term and not impact her health.  She is taking pre-natal vitamin.  Turned out she got them from her pregnant friend.  Thinks being pregnant is so cool. she can wait to wear maternity clothes.   In fact I found wearing her friend maternity clotheswith a pillow stuffed under to make her look 9 months pregnant and telling her friend in just a few weeks she would have a baby

2. She continue school.  until she gets her GED. 

3.  She go to college even as a single mom.

4.  In public I would be Uncle and she would be niece.  Not Mommy and Daddy and she can not tell anybody that I am the babies father.  Her friend knows she wants me to be the father

5.  If she wants to be a mommy then she needs to move into mommie's bed and act like a wife at home..

 

Grandpa Viv - July 23

Gulp! Do you understand the risks you are taking? If it gets out in any way that you are the father and they do a paternity test, you could end up in jail. Let's hope the doctor will discourage her. 

 

I can visualize many other problems with this plan, not the least being that she might promise anything now and renege later. Perhaps it would be smart for you to consult a lawyer before proceeding. 

 

daleb0202 - July 24

Almost had a new bewd partner last night.  She did not want to wait until babycation to sleep with me.  Told he no way until she agreed to all the conditions.  Any idea on more?

 

Grandpa Viv - July 24

This is such a scary situation. Can you postpone the whole business until we see how the other pregnancy turns out. Childbearing at this age is high risk. Delivery is probably by C section involving surgery. The risk of pre- eclampsia is high. The stress on the immature mother's body can have long term consequences. 

 

Grandpa Viv - July 24

Google "pregnant 13 year olds" and read up on the risks. Do you really want to expose your niece to this?

 

Grandpa Viv - July 24

The other girl has had an incestuous relationship and the father could face 2 years to life in prison depending on the state they live in. The same is true for you if you have intercourse with your niece.

 

The other girl has a 30% greater chance of her baby having birth defects. Your niece would have maybe a 15% increased risk. 

 

daleb0202 - July 25

No!   But it's not my chose.  If I had my way she would be a college gratuate, married and then decide if she wanted a baby.  However, she has decided that now is the perfect ime for a baby.  She said if I don't get her pregnant on the babycation or at lease try to get her pregnant she has picked out some to make sure she has a baby.

 

I hope the doctor scares the living hell out of her and she changes her mind.

 

Grandpa Viv - July 25

Considering the chance that you could end up in jail for rape and incest, it would be better for her to get pregnant by the boy she has chosen.

 

You could talk to the doctor and ask that she insert a birth control implant in her arm which would stop her from getting pregnant for three years. If she hears of this idea she might decide to get pregnant right away, so play your cards close to the chest. 

 

daleb0202 - July 26

She said she will only go to friends doctor, specialist in teen pregnancy for her check-up.  I ask her what she was going to do when the baby arrivied.  She thinks she can put in daycare and be a parttime mommy.   She said her pregnant friend is going to give the baby to mommy and daddy and be a big sister.  Mom is the one that convinved her to let her have dad impregnante her so she planed to be a big sister before getting  pregnant.  Niece does not have a mother to care for her child.  Maybe she is having second thoughts about getting pregnant.   Still want to have the babycation and become a whole women in her eyes she is not a whole women until she has sex and get pregnant.  She was wanting to move hrer clothes into my bedroom.  Moved the home pregnancy test box into my bathroom with a note soon we would need the test.  Wore her maternity clothes yesterday and she not pregnant yet.  Don't know that I can trick her into birth control shot.  She is count days until ovulating and full of sperm to get pregnant.  She claims she will know exactly when she got pregnant.

 

Grandpa Viv - July 27

Many girls go through this phase of desperately wanting to realize their womanhood and childbearling abilities. I tell them it is a natural desire and was the way of the world years ago when motherhood was the only role to which females could aspire. Life expectancy was 45 years and childbearing at 15 was the norm. These days we live to 85 and can bear children to 40. Women today make a far greater contribution to society, with more of them in college than men. Tell your niece her greatest responsibility in life is to get her children off to the best possible start in this world, and for that she needs to be educated and mature herself.

The teen pregnancy doctor is a marvellous choice for the consult, and will surely try to talk your niece out of her intention. Make sure you make the appointment yourself, tell the whole story, and specifically convey your concerns. Let them know that you would be happy for her to have the three-year birth control implant in her arm (Nexplanon). The Depo shot has to be renewed every three months, has side effects, and is sometimes forgotten.

 

daleb0202 - July 28

Finally talked some since into niece.  She has agreed to start taking birth control pills if she does not get pregnant on the babycation.  She plans to have sex 2-3 days on the babycation and figures she will be ovulationg during that week.  Thinks she has 100 chance of get pregnant.  I have not agreed to have sex but she thinks I will change my mind and keep her full of sperm for the week.  If I can't get out of all the sex is there something I can do to keep from filling her with sperm and a baby.  She will not let withdraw if my penis is hard and I have not cum inside her. Won't let me use condums.  Need ideas on how to keep from cum inside her vertile womb

 

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