OH MY GOSH What Do I Do Now

22 Replies
Worried Mother - March 16

I just found out that my oldest daughter Kayla is pregnant! She is 16 and a half and her boyfriend (the babies father) is a year older than her almost exactly. I was 18 when I became pregnant with her, and her father was rarely there..I am married and have 2 other children now, but Kayla is the only one following my bad footsteps. Please help me. I have tried grounding her from the phone, friends, computer, seeing her bf, and more....and for some reason she still manages to find time to get pregnant! PLEASE HELP!

 

Julia - March 16

Mom.........I hate to say it but when you were age you found ways of ding what you wanted and so has she and we all did. I say that you have to accept this now she is carring your grandchild. Please dont make her feel like she is less than a person or bad. Being pregnant is enough punishment. I am 31 and my mom basically disowned me I was raped adn pregnant at 15. Then she forced me to have abortion. I will NEVER forgive her for it. Please just love her and try to be supportive and teach her to be a good mom. Good luck. Email me anytime [email protected]

 

Mommy2Kylie - March 16

I don't think she was being 'bad.' She made a mistake. But you're her Mom, and thats your Grandchild, its going to be hard at first, but I think you should accept her, and be in her and your Granchilds life. It will be worth it in the end. I was 18 when I got pregnant and my Mom was there for me from the beginning just like she always told me she'd be. She would have been there if I was 15, or 16. I would talk to her, figure out what she wants to do, and what you guys plan on doing together.

 

Grandpa Viv - March 17

Seems like your tactics had the opposite effect of what you hoped. Give her a hug and tell her that now she is going to have adult responsibilities, your relationship is going to have to be adult-adult. And just think, you are half way to that coveted prize, a five-generation family photo!

 

Worried Mother - March 17

I am sorry that I was a little harsh in my first post. I was really upset. I heard about this website from a friend of mine, then 2 hours later Kayla comes up to me and explains her situation, even showed me the results of the pregnancy test. So I came on here, and asked for help. I realized how harsh I was on here, and to Kayla. I just gone done talking to her, and I apologized and we talked about her options, adoption, abortion, and keeping the baby. She chose to keep the baby. I am proud that she did not choose abortion! :) Though I am fixing to be a grandmother at almost 35!!! I know I can help my daughter as best as I can. After all that baby was not placed there in her belly for no reason. God Bless!

 

From a teen - March 17

I think if I were your daughter in that situation, being grounded from the baby's father wouldn't be the best idea. I find a lot of comfort in my boyfriend and comfort/someone to talk to is really something your daughter needs right now. There's not much you can do right now besides help her through this. My mom and I aren't that close, but if I were pregnant I would be devestated and even more depressed if my mom didn't want a part in it. Granted she may have her boyfriend, and some friends, but you as her mom can be there 24/7 and you have the ability to emotionally support her in ways her friends may not beable to. That's just how I feel, but best of luck to you both.

 

Mommy2Kylie - March 17

'Grounding' her from the babys father isn't an option. If he isn't a danger, then he deserves to know his child just as much. It takes two people to make a baby.

 

katie - March 17

yea...u really sudnt ground her from her bf it means he will get further away from her and mite not want anythin to do wit the baby.a baby really needs a dad.im only 14 and im doin ok.i no ur worried but she will b ok and plz let her c her bf.its best for her and the baby

 

Tiffany - March 17

Grounding her is not going to help with anything, all she needs is support right now and she will NEED to see her boyfriend, her boyfriend needs to be with her and it will make her feel a lot better. Including friends. good luck!

 

Worried Mother - March 17

When I said I grounded her, it was BEFORE she became pregnant. I did post last night before I went off to bed. I do admit I was a little harsh about this on here, and to Kayla. I am going to be there for her, she is my daughter and I love her. I did not realize at first how I was reacting to this situation. I do appreciate your advice. She does see her boyfriend. They are in fact in the other room giggling right now. She loves him, and thankfully he seems to feel the same way. Sorry if I may have seemed a bit harsh at first. I said I tried grounding her from the phone, friends, etc. then I mentioned that she became pregnant, I want to make that clear because I noticed a few of you thought I was grounding her from her bf after she became pregnant. Kayla's father was not there when she was born, and I want Jason, (her bf) to be with here if he wants to. I know he needs to but I am not his mother and I can't make him be there. I am planning on sitting down with his parents later on to explain to them what is going on. I have met them before and I am sure they will be understanding. They may have the same reaction I did at first though. I will let you know what happens as soon as I can. Again thanks for your support and help. God Bless!

 

Brittney - March 17

May u should just play along with it act like u don't even care what she does.

 

Ste f - March 17

Will if she is already pregant you cant stop her from doing what she doing. also support her with her decision. because it hard not have a father but when you mother does support you who do you have. So please dont treat her as a out cast she have feeling to so the hold time you are worried think about how she feel, and if her baby fathe is an a__s hole try to help her threw that she going threw. I hope the best for you and your daughter. You need to sit down and talk to her.

 

Kari - March 17

hey Worried Mother, I'm not surprised you're worried! And I do not think you were harsh in your original post so don't feel you have anything to apologise for, you don't. I think you're handling this really well and should be very proud of yourself for being such a supportive and caring woman. You're daughter needs support but she also needs to be made aware of what she has got her and her boyfriend into. I hope everything works out well for you and your family and don't worry, there's always support on this site! Big hugs and congratulations, Kari xxxx

 

Worried Mother - March 17

Thanks Kari!

 

Mizzy - March 18

Worried mother my parents did the same with me and I got pregnant and I miscarried.But when you are a teenager who wants something bad enough you will find ways to get it.Have you asked her if she planned this pregnancy?So if you ever need anyone to talk to email me at [email protected] by the way I am 16 almost 17 in about 2 months.

 

alicia - March 18

the best thing to do right now is to support her. has grounding her made her any less pregnant? nope probly not. thatsthe way my mom looked at it. yelling and being angry is a waste of time. just look at the positives of this situation rather then the negatives if youd like her is my email [email protected] you can get ahold of me and i will talk to my mother who is in some what the same boat and i will then give you here email.

 

stephanie - March 18

hi well i am 18 years old and 4 mths pregnant. i have been where you daughter is and she is going to find any way that sh ecan to see her boy friend and have s_x. the more you try to stop her the more she is going to want to do it. Have you tried to ask her about what is going on in her life an dwhy she feels she feel she needs to have s_x at her age? Now days teens are going in to the bath room and having s_x and most of the teachers could not care less. there are many ways that she can get around you rules trust me i have done it all. The best way that i know of is to just talk to her about it and tell her how being pregnant at such a young age is really hard. Tell her how it was for you and try not to get mad at her be understanding and show her that you are ther for her but she needs to talk to you. you can always have her email me if you want a [email protected]

 

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