Parent Of A Pregnant Teen

7 Replies
Dawn - November 2

Is there a forum here for the parent of a pregnant teen? I am trying hard to cope and just need some feedback. My teen just told me last night that she is pregnant. She is a 17, a senior in high school, college bound, career oriented, and she thinks she wants to keep it because she thinks she's in love with a guy who has a GED, makes $8.50 hr part time and really has no goals or aspirations of his own. I know that as her mother I am supposed to support her decision %100 but I am finding it hard not to be disappointed. And I feel guilty about that. How do I show her the support I know she needs without showing her my utter disappointment?

 

CAROL - November 2

It is natural to feel disappointed in your daughter; understand that not even a day has gone by since she has told you she's pregnant. In time, the shock will wear off. Unfortunately, she will have to come to realize herself that the father of her baby may be a dead-beat, basically. You could tell her this all day, but if she doesn't want to hear it (she "loves" him, afterall), you'll only further alienate her. As much as it'll hurt you to watch it, she'll have to learn this on her own. If she wants to keep the baby, to show your support, help her find ways to financially prepare for it, ie, getting a job, putting money aside etc. If she takes birthing cla__ses, go with her. If you alienate her, you'll alienate the baby, which you probably don't want to do. Maybe help her find a way to continue her education after graduating, maybe by taking courses by correspondance, or at night when someone could watch the child.

 

angel - November 2

hi i was 19 when i was first pregnant... my mom was disappointed in me and sad but she was supportive and i still kept my job i was able to take nite cla__ses and got a nursing license and the father was a jerk but i just went on without him. i know its a dissapointment and i know ur sad but ur daughter needs u so much right now. please just encourage her... its not the end of her career or life its only the beggining and everything will be ok :)

 

jen - November 2

I understand that you are dissapointed and hurt. I was very young and in college when I became unexpectedly pregnant. I decided on adoption she was better for it as was I. I am now 30 and happily married. I finished college and was able to establish a good career. While this is her decsion and you are hurting too the best you could do is clamly explain what she is going to live with either way. If you are not sure then get some help, there are many clinics that offer pregnancy counseling. My father lovingly made it clear. This was a job for life that you will one day answer to God for. If you do it Jen you will make ALL the needed concesions for her, including working a lot, while in school, raising her to your best ability AND doing it alone. The last thing he "allowed" me to do was marry (which was the best thing he could have ever done). I have been there and it is hard to be the daughter in this position. PLEASE be patient and loving. Be honest and firm. What ever you do don't allow yourself to become a parent for her child. You can support her in all that she will do but for her own good (and that of the baby) allow her to parent and be the responsible mother she wanted to be. You are welcome to email me if you would like. [email protected]

 

mother - November 3

I was in your shoes ten years ago, my daughther is now 27 and my grandson is 10 years old, I say right now she needs your support, no matter what you say about the childs father right now she can't hear you, she has to see it on her own and believe me kids change everything, but you must stay on top of her as far as school and help her but not to much, there will be times that she wants to go out so bad but you don't feel like babysitting then don't let her feel and know how you have to give up your life for your child. thats what alot of young women dont realize because they have us as parents to back them up as when a woman has a child she is prepared to give things up with no problem while most women i must say my daughter turned out great and she is the best mom, i am proud she didn't have anymore kids she struggled she missed alot being a teen mom but she says she loves me for it i made her the strong women she is today. so please support and love her but let her raise the child, because as i said before there will be nights that him and her want to be alone again don't let it happen make them take that baby. best of luck and the good thing is all children are a blessing from the man above.

 

Jen - November 3

Hi. I am a 17 year old, pregnant senior as well as your daughter. If I didn't know any better, I would say you were my mom. I know you're not thought because of the name. Anyways, your daughter really needs your support right now. I wish my parents--especially my mom would help me a little. I don't know what I am going to do once I have my baby because I will not abort it or give it to someone else for adoption. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I have to decide though. If you ever need to talk about your daughter's pregnancy, email me at [email protected] Hopefully all goes well and you will get throught this with your daughter. Good Luck.

 

natalie - November 3

if your daughter wants to keep her baby for any reason, it s because she wants to have her baby. if she says shes in love she is. dont think because hes not in great job that she doesnt love him. she maybe youngbut dont underestimate her judgement.maybe if she is happy, you shouldnt look at it as a dissappointment if shes happy, stick by her. afterall thats what she needs

 

grandma - November 3

AT 17 SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO RAISE A CHILD WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM YOU. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE BOY IN QUESTION HE WILL PROBABLY BE GONE SOON.

 

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