PLEASE HELP I AM IN A PICKLE

10 Replies
Abby - December 28

I just told my boyfriend of seven months that i am pregnant with his baby andhe just started crying and left. i called him later that day and he told me that he has cancer and doesnt know how long he is going to live. I dont know what to do and i am scared. What if he doesnt live long enough for me to deliver this baby. Should i get an abortion just for him? I am scared HELP!

 

missy - December 28

no you should not get an abortion for him. Do what you want to do, if anything maybe this baby will make him fight the disease even harder!!!

 

Grandpa Viv - December 28

I wonder why he chose not tell you about his cancer until this moment. Do you think it is true? Do you think he may be pessimistic about his prognosis?Boyfriends often get almost as shook up about news of a pregnancy as do the girls. Give it a week to settle down, and keep talking. Maybe a round-table discussion with his parents would be a good idea. They might be particularly happy about the news of a grandchild on the way. Good luck!

 

Jbear - December 29

I agree with Grandpa Viv...give him a week to calm down. It's not very likely that he could be undergoing treatments for cancer without you noticing the side effects. (for one thing, sometimes chemotherapy causes male infertility) Anyhow, give him a chance to calm down. If he mentions cancer again, ask him what kind he has and what kind of treatments he has undergone (ask in a caring way, not a quiz, in case he does have it). If he IS undergoing cancer treatments, you'll need to tell your doctor what kind of medications your boyfriend is on, in case of potential problems. Don't get an abortion just because of this...men come and go, but a child will be your child forever. On a more practical (and more grim) note, if your boyfriend does die of cancer, as long as you are able to establish your child's paternity, your child will be able to get social security.

 

Abby - December 29

i have decided that i am goin to have this baby no matter what happens. I am goin to be the best mommmy i can be! As for my boiyfrined we really havent gotten the chance to really really talk about this. But i will keep you posted thanks for the advice.

 

****** - December 30

girl you have you baby!you dont need a man to support you. you can do it on your own.

 

Lacey2006 - December 30

wow, thats rough, i'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend, but i honestly think you should keep the baby because not only is it a part of him but you'll feel worse after aborting the baby if he lived way longer than expected. my best friend died of cancer and he lived for like a year and a half after diagnosis and them telling him he had 3 months left to live.

 

Grandpa Viv - December 30

Abby, that is a brave and life-changing decision. Now I think you should share the news with your parents, as they will be the ones to cover all the expense and much of the child-minding. It's only fair. Good luck!

 

Abby - December 31

I just wanted to thank you all for your advice it had helped me so much. Me and my boyfriend did have a huge talk and he made up the hole cancer thing he said he just had to get out of there and he had nothing else to say he just needed time to adjust and get away for a little bit. After talkin about how sick jokein about that is we are going to be there for eachother through everything. One more thing how do i tell my parents

 

Grandpa Viv - December 31

Abby, it's good to hear that the forum has helped you. Take a look at http://www.ppowb.org/gv/tell.htm for some ideas on telling the parents. The grandchild card is always a good one to play. If you fear violence, a remote inform (letter, card, phone call) can help to give them time to cool down. You might be able to enlist the help of a third party (teacher, grandparent, bf parents). Be a__sured that after the initial shock is over, you are their first love, and they will help you do the best thing. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

 

jessy - January 2

awww im so sorry to hear that. but no you should not get an abortion. having his child will let you remember what good times you had with him and how much you loved him. i would just let him know that you always love him no matter what. im so sorry to hear this tho. well good luck with everything!

 

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