Plezzz Help So Lost

22 Replies
MaMa 2 B - July 3

One more thing i need help with....ok so My bf and i have been together for almost a year! and we have always talked about havin babys i jsut didnt know it would come so soon and he was always so excited before i got pregnant talking about how cute our baby would be and how great parents we would be and now that i'm pregnant he just wont grow up and realize that i am pregnant! i'm younger than him and have already become alot more responsible in just 3 months of being pregnant.....why is he like this?? is it because i'm not showing yet.? will he change?? please help me =[[

 

Grandpa Viv - July 3

Work to get him to attach to this creation of yours. Keep referring to "our baby". Have him come to doctor visits, share the ultrasound, listen to the hearbeat, ma__sage your belly, and a__sist at the delivery. Put the baby in his arms and say "Here, look after this. I have to go visit with the girls." Be patient and persistent and you will win the day. Good luck!

 

Emma2 - July 4

You cant force anyone to grow up and want to be there. Maybe he will change but there are no guarantees whatsoever. I do not recommend pushing him to come to the dr. and whatever. Instead you should ask him once and if he refuses back off and it is his loss. It is very hard but people will do what they want , when they want it and no one can force them.

 

lilmomma88 - July 4

Girl I would say you have nothing to worry about. My boyfriend and I went through the same thing. We talked about havin kids and how we couldn't wait and we actually tried to get pregnant for awhile. Once we stopped trying and realized we are too young, what do you know.. I was pregnant! My boyfriend was so scared at first he left me for four months. When he came back, I was 5 months pregnant and beginning to show a little. He was still immature and irresponsible up until I gave birth. (How old is your boyfriend? Mines 18) The minute he saw our son come into the world, everything changed. He became a man instead of a little boy. And now everythings great. Just wait, i'm sure he'll come around! =)

 

MaMa 2 B - July 4

thank u lilmomma! that really helps alot...haha hes 19...and its not that he left me and we still like hang out and stuff but ther is like some days where he wont call and just go out and party and like he hasnt been to any appt. but he asked me last night if he could go to the next one....also he told me he for sure wanted to b ther when our baby was born...i am just scared he wont come around....=[[

 

Emma2 - July 4

WoW, great advice you gave to someone you clearly do not know! Hun, im sorry but always be prepared for the worst. Life is not a fairytale and NOT ALL of them come around.

 

MaMa 2 B - July 4

well i would have to say i am prepared for the worst but as far as i'm concerned he is gettin a little more mature...me and him talked for a long time last night about this baby and i basically told him that i dont need him and if he doesnt wanna b apart of his babies life it is his loss...but i told him i dont want him to think that he can abandon me this whole pregnancy then just pop up when the baby was born...and he told me he was sorry and that everything would change because he is scared to lose me so i guess we will see how long this lasts...and i know life is not a fairy tale and they dont all come around but that doesnt mean that he cant come around...

 

Jamie-Lee - July 5

My boyfriend Rob and I didn't plan for me to get pregnant.He didn't ever want kids and wanted me to get an abortion.We break up all the time.The last time was last Tuesday and things still aren't all that great.We aren't offically back together but I think things might be alright.It's hard though because I just want to be with him.I hate fighting.I want him to be around especially where both his father and my father weren't really around for us when we were growing up.I know exactly what you're going through..I'm 6 months pregnant today.He says when he holds the baby his feelings aren't going to change.He wants it to be just him and I..honestly I think he's being a little selfish..especially when he mentions the abortion.He says we could be putting our money together and spending it on other things..like we could have bought a car together.Things could be worse and I wish he could see that.I've always looked at the positive side of things.I'm 19 (will be 20 when I have the baby),I have a good paying job and a supportive family.Anyways,I've rambled on enough.

 

lilmomma88 - July 5

Emma you don't need to be so d__n snotty! Yeah of coarse there is always a chance he won't come around, but if he's been there this long and he wants to go to your next appt. and all that i'd say theres a pretty good chance everything will work out..and if it doesn't then it's probably for the best

 

lilmomma88 - July 5

Jamie-Lee..he says that his feelings won't change when the baby is born..but that is what he says NOW...when i was 2 months pregnant and my boyfriend was gone i talked to him a few times and he came over once and he told me to get an abortion and was p__sed when i said no.. but he came back when i was 5 months pregnant and couldnt wait for the baby to be born...and now he cant keep his hands off our little man.. make sure he's in the delivery room when your baby is born...when you watch your child come into the world, something happens to you...im not sure what it is..but something definetly happens to you =)

 

MaMa 2 B - July 5

Well....Jamie Lee i am very sorry to here about your man...that is a lil selfish but he is probably just confused! i think justin is confused too! gurls can mature about the situation alot faster than guys cuz the guyz r'nt really "dealing" with it like we r!! i mean we r the ones carrying the lil one inside of us!! abortion was nvr an option for us because neither i or him really believe in that as a "birth control" but i have a great feelin he will come around thank u all for ur advice and good luck to u all!

 

lilmomma88 - July 5

i agree...abortion should NOT be used as a birth control. i know its best for some people...but i dont believe in it for one second. (i'm catholic) and i think its murder. there are sOoOo many people who cannot have children who would LOVE to adopt a baby!

 

MaMa 2 B - July 6

omg i so agree....if u dont wanna get pregnant dont have s_x...or at least get good protection!!

 

MaMa 2 B - July 8

well just for an update if ne one cares...haha i think Justin is finally starting to come around!! he is outta town right now but i have been sayin alot of our baby ... and i once slipped and said my baby and he corrected me! we r goin together to buy a crib and get some clothes! [[for me]] so thank u all for the advice i am so happy now!!

 

lilmomma88 - July 8

Congrats..i'm really happy for you! I hope is finally growing up!! =)

 

TeenInNeed - July 9

Mama 2 B- Congrats on your boyfriend coming around! I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 19, and I just found out I'm pregnant (I think I'm 6 weeks, but my doctor's appt isn't until next Monday). I'm going through the same thing as you did. We always talked about how cute our kids would be and all that, but as soon as he found out, he completely shunned me. He wants an abortion and won't even discuss the baby with me. He pretends like its not happening. He's a completely different guy than the one I was dating a month ago! I am praying that he will come around, but I know that he might not. So until he shows some real responsibility and interest, I'm preparing to do this alone. That's awesome that he's starting to take responsibility for what he did, best of luck to both of you!

 

Jamie-Lee - July 9

MaMa2b- That's good that Justin is coming around.Rob and I are back together too but he still doesn't bring the baby up although last night he did rub some stretch mark cream on my belly.I don't expect him to be jumping for joy or anything but he could at least realize he's going to be a father.Good luck and keep me updated.My e-mail is [email protected] if you need someone to talk to.

 

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