Sex Before Periods Start

9 Replies
Laura - January 15

My little sister is 12 and she's had her first boyfriend for a few weeks. He's also 12. She tells me everything and I try to give her good advice. Anyway, they have been touching and so on and she's asking me lots of questions about s_x. I really think they are going to do it quite soon. She hasn't started her periods yet and they are both virgins so she's saying they don't need condoms or any other protection. I think they are both too scared about actually buying them but I'd get them for her if she wanted. As a lot of people seem to visit this board does anyone have any information on the likelihood of getting pregnant if you have s_x before your periods start? This might get her to think straight. Also what's the likelihood od a 12yo boy actually being fertile? Don't want to spoil their fun but don't want a pregnant 12yo sister

 

Hayley - January 15

I think you should try and discourage her as much as you can, god she is way too young, and a few weeks going out with someone is nothing. But it happens. He will be very fertile, and the likelihood of her becoming pregnant is as good as any because you don't know when your periods are going to start, and you ovulate around 2 weeks before you start anyway. She won't know if shes ovulated - she won't know the signs. But really I think if shes too embarra__sed to buy condoms then she most definitely not s_xually mature and shouldn't be thinking of having s_x. Her body is not s_xually mature if she hasn't even started her periods. If I was her parent, I'd want to know. Its not your responsibility but yes do provide her with condoms just incase.

 

Laura - January 17

Well, I've got her the condoms anyway and told her that she shouldn't feel pressured into having full s_x, but if she does make certain he uses one.

 

kat - January 17

if i had a 12 year old sister i would advise her not to do it,you are encouraging her to do it by getting her condoms,they are still kids,would they know how to use them properly? and what if it splits? she needs to wait and also get on birth control aswell!

 

Sarah - January 17

12 years old is way too young, and can also be looked at as hmmm let me see...ILLEGAL! Not to mention disgusting, you as an older sister who knows whats been going on should be deterring her from doing this, you can actaully get pregnant before you start to menstrate, and a boy is fertile at 12. s_x for a 12 year old is never FUN!!!! I have no idea where your head is but I am sure you must be pretty much a kid yourself for offering her such stupid and immature, irresponsible advice. Please use your head.... God gave you a brain, it wasnt just to fill the space in your head you know....USE IT!

 

tara - January 17

You should really encourage her not to have s_x. There is a reason why they have S_xEd in HIGHschools these days. She has no idea about her growing body! She hasn't even hit full puberty yet to know what anything she is going through means! Besides Hayley is right her chances of getting pregnant are just as good as anyone elses...she has no idea when she will be ovulating...or even what ovulation is. Honestly you need to try your best to stop her from having s_x at 12 years old. What are the chnaces of this boy actually wnating to be with your sister for her other than to brag about it to his friends...think about it he is 12 years old...that's all he is doing this for! You should protect your sister by stoping her so she doesn't go ahead with this.

 

Hayley - January 17

Errm first up its not Laura's fault, or responsibility to tell her sister what she can and can't do. Its up to her parents. Fact is kids have s_x, and if they want to they will, it doesn't matter what her big sister tells her. Laura I think all you can do is encourage her to talk and find out if she really wants to do it. I don't think giving condoms is really encouraging it because if they decide to do it, they will no matter what, and its better that the condoms are there to use. One thing I wondered though, going off the subject a bit, is how a condom meant for adults would fit on a 12 yr old? Could be dangerous in that it might not stay on. You could encourage her to read books on s_x and pregnancy too to give her some education and make her realise that s_x isn't just about having fun. At her age the consequences would be devastating.

 

Laura - January 17

Thanks for your input. To answer some of the other posts, I'm 18, first had s_x at 15 and stayed with the same boyfriend for 2yrs+ (so far he has been my one and only s_x partner). We always used birth control. For me it the first time and every other time were a wonderful experience. And yes she has had all the s_x education stuff at school. I've shown her these posts and added one more important issue to think about. How many relationships that start at 12 actually last? If this boy gets bored with her and moves on how will she feel? I think I've done all I should but I can't actually stop her.

 

tara - January 17

You are right...she will end up doing what she believs in anyway. But since she tells you everything I a__sumed that your input also mattered to her so that's why i said you shoudl encourage her not to go ahead with this. But I think at this point your parents (or another adult who she feels comfortable with ) should some how get involved. Those other points you brought up her are also good. I wish her the best

 

Laura - January 22

I gave her all the advice but they did it last night. At least she had the condoms and from what she told me he was happy to use them. I was out and so was mum. He came over to the house and they spent the evening together. From what she tells me there wasn't much s____n in the condom afterwards so perhaps he isn't fertile yet. Anyway, they are safe. I asked her if she was going to tell mum. She said that if they are together by the next school holidays she will. Sounds like he was quite gentle with her. From what I've seen he seems like quite a nice sensitive kid.

 

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