Should I Tell Her

19 Replies
Justin - January 14

Dont ask me why cos I dont know. Me and my gf have been together 1 year (shes 16, Im 19) and she always insists on condoms. I wanted a baby, i dont know why and she wouldnt hear of it. I couldnt let it go. I made holes in the condoms. Now shes pregnant but instead of feeling happy Im scared, she screams at me (she doesnt know I made holes she just blames me anyway) and says she will abort it. I dont want her to do it but its all my own fault. She cant stop crying and I feel so guilty cos I did this to her on purpose. Shes got a great career ahead of her and says its ruined if she keeps it but it isnt cos I will stay at home and look after the baby. I really dont want her to get rid of it, its our baby. What should I do??

 

Julia - January 14

Calm down first of all........then you are going to HAVE to be honest with her. Are you willing to marry this girl and take care of her and the baby so she can still have her career?

 

anonimous p - January 14

hey i totally understand how u feel i wanted to get pregnant but my boyf insisted on me goin on the pill but i didnt and now im pregnant and im scared aswell but he is happy just try and explain it 2 her and tell her u love her no matter what but this is the start of a family that u only want with her and no one else and that if she wants a life and career ur willing to give up urs so u can have a happy family and she can have the career and love from a family which should really tug at her heart if she is like me but just try and tell her that its v important to u k write back let me no k x

 

Bibi - January 14

you probably should of asked her first and at least considered her feelings, but the best thing you can do now is tell her how you feel.

 

tara - January 14

You really need to tell her about what you have done. And honestly what you did is very unfair to her! your 19 and have pa__sed your teenage years, she' only 16! What were you thinking???? In any case you need to tell her what you did, then tell her how you feel. But this decision will have to be hers! You can only tell her how you feel, but you cannot try to convince her of what you want becuase that can lead to the distruction of your relationship and that would be a good place to bring up a child. You need to allow her to decide.

 

tara - January 14

I meant to say...that would NOT be a good place to raise a child. What ever decision she makes she should be sure of it. Any regrets can lead to the distruction of yur relationship.

 

TELL HER - January 14

I think that you should probably tell your girlfriend the truth about what you did and maybe she'll change her mind about getting an abortion. Talk to her and let her know that you want her to keep the baby because you love her and want to be with her. Hopefully she will understand and you will both work things out. Good Luck and Hope things work out!

 

Justin - January 17

Thanks eveyone for your advice. I have talked to her and told her how much I want her to keep the baby. She said shes not sure what to do yet. I said I was willing to do everything, and I really do mean it. I'll stay while she goes to college and work, and I'll work nights and pay for childcare if we need it to have a social life. I'll do anything it takes. I really didnt expect her to be so upset about it, but I think its because she doesnt believe I'll stick around. I want to ask her if she'll get engaged to me, not just for the baby - I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. At the same time though I think I might be asking too much of her responsibility-wise. I just dont know. God how can I make her see that I will be true to my word?? I chickened out of telling her what I'd done. I think it might be best if I dont tell her that.

 

redeem - January 17

although you were VERY misguided at least you're taking responsibility for your actions. Even so, it's her choice. I'd recommend that you pop the question before she makes her decision to show that you really mean what you say.

 

Sarah - January 17

I cant beleive someone would stoop so low as to take a way the right and choices of their girlfriends body??? You think thats smart??? I cant believe the damage you have created and yet you are trying to cover it up?? Have you ever heard of entrapment? Oh My God you are 19 and have taken a young girls choice away from her because of your selfishness. There is no respect and no trust, or love, or truth in that. I pray that she finds out and gets rid of your a__s. You Selfish selfish b___d!

 

to justin - January 17

At the age of 19 I would have thought you would have known what the word NO meant. And in a way your g/f said no but you did it anyway a bit like rape. What you did where I come from is illegal and you can be punished ie convicted and sent to jail for desception like that. You are a coward and very very selfish and in a way I hope you end up alone.

 

Kia - January 18

You're a b___d. I hope she gets an abortion. That is so messed up.

 

Joe - January 18

I'm a guy, and I'll be honest with you - what you did was sick. It's not up to you to force or trick ANY girl into having a baby with you, and after reading this, I don't think you deserve to have kids at all. Thank your lucky stars your a__s isn't in prison.

 

mm - January 22

i are so selfish, you were not even thinking og her and her life. She is only 16 and you have been through so much more than her and you decided you needed a child. Now you need to be the man you thought you were and stand up to what you have done!!!!!

 

Mommy2Kylie - January 23

Wow, what you did to her was really wrong and you're going to need to tell her. I understand, and admire the fact that you want a baby, but if someone clearly told you they weren't ready, and for you to poke holes in the condoms and make it so she gets pregnant is so horrible and selfish of you. You could have been patient, found someone that actually wanted to have kids with you. Shes only 16 years old also, you could go to jail for that if she turns you in. You two need to figure this out and if she wants to get an abortion then thats her choice.

 

mm - January 27

We are not saying that your life end when you get pregnant we are just not forgiving you for doing what you did. I am glad you told her but that does not fix everythin gin her eyes, even if she says it does. Its a trust thing and a true man that is mature enough to do such an act ( holes) will have to deal with what ever comes up in the future. TRUST, HARDSHIP, AND WHAT EVER ELSE. good luck daddy

 

amonimous - February 8

What you done was wrong, but there is no reason for her aborting the baby. The baby didn't ask to come on this world. I have a baby myself and yes it is hard, but both of you will ger through it. Talk to her and hear her out, there's always options. Both of you need help because you guys knew the consequences and now you just have to face them. Good Luck!

 

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