Should We Get Married Now

9 Replies
Married? - October 8

I'm 19 and I'm about 98% sure I'm pregnant.. I have having major symptoms but wont find out for sure until about October 20. I have been with my bf for about 2 months.. he seems very excited about the fact I could be pregnant (he is 22) I love him to death and we have talked about get_tng married since day 1.. but I didnt plan on it for years.. now that I might be pregnant he says we will have to get married... well first of all no one should HAVE to get married.. so he says he wants to.. is it right to speed up the process just because we might have a baby?

 

Samantha - October 8

My honest opinion is .. that dont get married just because you got pregnant cuz then if u ever get into an argument u will be like "man the only reason i married you was because i got pregnant" while that may not be the case u might still think that ... (not saying you will im just throwing it out there) and something my mom always told me was ... to never marry someone unless you have dated them for a year...because after a year then they will start showing their true colors and its harder to get out if their true colors are not good. well me i dated my hubby for 7 months and then got married and believe me he changed alot after we hit the year mark so i guess my mom was right in that case... but do what your heart tells you to .. thats just my opinion

 

My answer - October 8

I would not get married just because you are pregnant. I wouldn't recommend anyone getting married after only two months of knowing someone... pregnant or not! The baby can have his last name, you can live together, you can do all the things married people do without the piece of paper saying you are wed. And, for Lina... it does not matter if you are married or not, the father of your baby has every right to him that you do. Fathering the baby, not marriage gives the dad parental rights.

 

Me - October 9

I totally agree with you guys... but what do I do because he really wants to? i keep telling him i'm not ready... i dont want to get married just b/c i am pregnant i want to get married because thats the person i want to spend the rest of my life with.. how do i get him to understand that?

 

Sarah M. - October 9

You have to explain it to him in a way that a man will understand. Men are easily offended so you have to word it right. You say "Darling, of course I want to marry you! We have been planning on it since we got together. I just don't want to rush it because I wan't YOU to be comfortable with it and with me. I would just feel so bad if we got married and I somehow let you down. I just don't know what I would do without you!" Not only have you avoided getting married but you have also made him feel secure. OR, since you want to get married eventually just say yes.. but plan on a long engagement. If you think he won't understand why you want a long engagement, start making all these really expensive plans that you all can't hope to afford yet. You'll have to wait until you can afford it! And, jeez - aren't you worth it? /grin

 

JJ - October 11

congratulations if u r pregnant. 2 months is pretty quick 2 start thinkin of getting married. im here to give u advise ok, no1, do u know this guy nough? have u met his family, vise vrsa. u said u talked about marriage the 1st day, which seems like u guys were more intersetd in getting married than actually getting to know eachother. does he know ur faults, and more importantly, do u know his. guys change after marriage. i say have a big long talk with him. goodluck

 

Bonnie - October 11

I say go with your gut instincts, don;t get married just because of a baby. My DH and I got married after one week! lol But I wasn't pregnant, it was just something we felt was right. I actually have to agree with Samantha, for once, in that you don't really get to know someone for at least a year. There were a lot of things different for me and my DH after a year. We've now been married for 7 years, but honestly I think I just happened to luck out :) Have you considered living together?

 

Dee - October 11

I don't think you should get married just yet. Having a baby is a huge ajustment in itself. Concentrate on making your baby and your self has healthy emotionally and physically as possible. That may mean continued growth with in your self such as continuing your education or what ever makes you happy. Adjusting to marriage is hard enough with out all of the hormonal and physical changes of pregnancy added to the scenario. Best Wishes!

 

Heather - October 11

I'm 18 and five months along. My boyfriend and I are planning on getting married ASAP. But he's away in the military so we have to wait until he comes home and we don't know when that will be. ANYWAYS two month is such a short amount of time to get to know someone. I would be really scared but i thinks great that you are thinking so responsibly. I think that you should DEFINETELY get marriage counseling. You can places to do it for free, chruchs will and stuff. It would really help you two get closer on a different level. You should if you both really love each other and especially because you have already been talking about marriage. Just take your time and do it right.

 

Monique - October 11

You shouldn't get married just because your pregnant. You should see how things work out a baby might bring stress into the relationship, you'll be starting off new too. When babies brings stress into the relationship for people who have been married for a long time. If you can try premarital counseling to see if your really ready to be married.

 

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