Shud I Let Them C The Baby

11 Replies
Vicky - September 24

im only 16 and 16weeks pregnant. we didnt plan it, the condom split and i took the morning after pill but obviously didnt work! i tryed to make the best of a bad situation and decided i could do it as my side of the family are really suportive. but my boyfriend side (babys daddy) are still angry, they didnt really aprove of me in the first place because there very over protected of there son. they called me stupid for not wanting to kill my baby and said id be ruining my life. i also had a bleed at about 10weeks and went in to hospital. later i found out that they told my boyfriend that they hope i had a miscarriage. i personally dont want anything to do with them but i dont no wether to let them see the baby after its born? your opions please :) xXx

 

Hi Vicky - September 24

That's up to you and your boyfriend. It's hard to answer really. On one hand they were hurtful but at the same time they're part of baby's family. When baby is here you'll get a better idea of what to expect from them. Whatever you don't punish baby for their rudeness. Good luck.

 

hey - September 24

Hey Vicky. All i have to say is that sometimes everything changes. I guess its up to you if you want the father in this babies life, and his family. Here was my situation, I think it might help :) I got pregnant at 15 (im now 20) at the time, the father wasnt too interested, but not overly nasty or anything, and his family totally kept out of everything. I gave him a choice, which was, you are either in our child's life, 100%, 100% of the time for the rest of his life, or not at all. He said that he could not promise me that, that he could be around sometimes, but that he didnt want to "hang around a baby" at 16, and miss being a teen. So. now, my son is 4 1/2 and he has never met his birth father, and i doubt that he ever will. His father and his family have shown no intrest, and we are just fine without him. Ok lol, on the other hand, I have a very good firend, who's baby's father did not want anything to do with her or the child, as soon as she got pregnant. His family were just horrible to her, and it was really terrible for her, during the entire pregnancy. Anyway, she gave birth to a little girl, and the daddy ended up coming to see her in hospital. Well, I kid you not, from the second that he saw that little girl, his opinion completely changed, and he was so apologetic for what he had put her through, and so were his family. They ended up getting married a year or so later, and he is the best dad a little girl could ask for, his parents are incredible grandparents, and they are all very happy (by the way, she is almost 3 now, and they are expecting their 2nd child) Like I said in the beginning, everything can change, people's opinions and behaviors can change completely in an instant. I would maybe wait and see how they are further into the pregnancy, try to involve them , like with ultrasound pics and stuff? They just might suprise you, and start to get excited about a grand baby. See how they act when the baby is born. The initial shock of a pregnant teen can be a major stress to parents, but just let it sink in a little longer, they may totally change their att_tude, and if not, well your baby is a blessing, and Im sure you will make great mother, with or without their help. Good luck hun xxx ps. sorry so long! :)

 

Maggie - September 25

Vicky, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I want you to know that while you are obligated to have the father in the baby's life, you have no obligation to let his family see the baby. My advice to you is that as soon as the baby is born, you and your boyfriend go to court, and work out the details of child-support/visitation. Let your boyfriend know that this is not a reflection on him, but you need to protect the rights of your baby. The courts will ask you what you would like to do as far as visitation, and you can set it up that your boyfriend must come to the baby. You can tell the judge how his family reacted to your pregnancy, and that you do not trust them around your baby. When I had my son, some of my family members where weird because of the initial shock of hearing that I was pregnant (and I was 20 yrs. old at the time), but in a matter of days they were over it and supported my decision. After 16 weeks of you being pregnant, and they are still treating you this way means they have no emotional attachment to this child. I think you are doing the right thing by taking responsibility for your baby, and you have the right to say who comes in contact with your child. Keep us posted, and good luck to you.

 

Kim - September 25

you should not let them see the baby that they want to be dead!!! I definitley say nay to that one, i'm 15 and pregnant and if my bay's daddy family evere act up, they can kiss me and my baby girl goodbye, they do't deserve to see your lovely child not after what was said!!!!

 

meghan - September 26

im 18 and in a very similar situation, what i chose to do personaly is do it on my own without any help from him or his family right now. I have enough to deal with already. being a new mom, a full time college student and working, i decided that i dont need the added stress os him or his family. get all your duck in a row(get your self situated and your shiiit together)the worrry about the dad. your gonna have enough stress as it is, dont put more on your plate then you have to.

 

Julie - September 26

I wouldn't let them see the baby...I would let them beg for their grandson, let them feel empty, throw it in their face about what they said, (I would threaten to tell their grandson when he's older, but NEVER actually would) I MEAN I WOULD BE VERY PISSED SOMEONE WOULD WISH HARM TO MY CHILD AND I WOULD WANT THEM TO KNOW HOW WRONG THEY WERE FOR SAYING THAT. But once I would have gotten it out of my system, and seen a "real change" I would just leave it like water under the bridge. That's just me---you might want to handle it differently, I wish you the best of luck.

 

misti - September 26

they can get "grandparents rights" and take you to court over it so be care full

 

- September 27

i know they may seem like this now, but when the baby is born they might change. I dont know if they want to see your baby then you should let them, of course with you being there. DOnt take the baby to them only if they ask to see your baby.

 

Hia;; - September 28

no they could be dangerous to the baby of threationg

 

l - September 28

If they were that protective of their son, then he wouldn't be in this situation, and I am sorry, but the rude comments they said is unexceptable, and no do not let them see the baby, why would you let the same people that wished your baby dead actually see your baby, you need to put your foot down and make these people respect you, and by the way you did not get yourself pregnant, their precious baby boy was there right along with you. You are not punishing your baby, your just keeping negative influences away, once these people see you mean business, they will have more respect for you and their son.

 

l - September 28

and bty the way there is NO such thing as grandparent's rights, my mom is an attorney, and only if they can prove that you are severe drugs, and even that is hard to prove, the mother has more rights than the father, they should be more scared of you

 

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