Simply Seeking Opinion

9 Replies
krissiix - January 28

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and I am about to graduate this summer from high school. We have talked about one day having children and being married and I am very excited about it. I am currently seventeen years old and we've been talking about getting pregnant when I am 19 or 20. Does anyone think that is too young? I feel we would be ready financially because I will be attending college for a 2 year course this fall and I'll have a stable job. He will as well. We have even thought of names and it's still about three years away! I'm just wondering what everyone thinks and I havent yet posted anything on here so I figured I would. :) Krissii.

 

ChattyKathy - January 29

uh uh. At 19 and 20 you have so many things you could be doing with your life, for YOURSELF. College is the one time in your life where you will be able to make your own choices. You will no longer have parents telling you what to do. You can join clubs and organizations to fill up your resume (and that takes up a lot of time!) Once you have a baby you'll barely have time for anything. you'll be going to school . When you aren't going to school you'll be working. When will you have time to see your baby? When will you have time to relax apart from all of that? Lets talk expenses. You'll need things, a lot of things. You'll need things for your apartment, things for the baby. things when the baby grows, and you'll still have to manage rent and utilities, car payments, insurance, and whatever else. I get that you say you'll have a two year course which probably means that you'll want to have the baby when you're out of college. College kids change their minds about things. What if you want to "move up" and seek a four year degree? You'll need one now-a-days. It is exciting to talk about these things, but its almost lonely hearing all your friends talking about getting to do things on a whim and knowing you wont be able to participate. When you're pregnant, everything changes. The world isn't about you anymore. It doesn't matter if you want to take a bubble bath. You'll have a screaming baby that will need you. It doesn't matter if your best friend is having a birthday party and you want to go celebrate if you can't get a hold of a baby sitter. Your bosses wont care if your baby gets sick and you have to leave without notice. Your professors wont care if you need prenatal appointments. Most young marriages end in divorce. Could you raise a child by yourself if that were to happen? There are a lot of good things about being a mom... but if you can wait then wait. Make it a goal to have in the future, something to work towards, but right now let your life be about YOU... because after it changes, nothing is about you anymore.

 

hailey07 - January 29

i wouldn's suggest it. I got pregnant when i was 19 and miscarried the baby. instead of having a great time like my rommates in college, i was heartbroken over this little baby. it caused a great strain on my relationship with my boyfriend and to be honest i barely made it through it. being 19 didn't help wither and i just feel like i've missed out on a lot of fun times for greif. i hope this helps, my advice would be to wait until you are a bit older, a bit wiser, and more able to cope with any issues or problems that may arise. good luck!

 

AyameLovesXion - January 29

I don't think it's too young. If you are stable and etc. then what does it matter if there are so many things you could be doing, if what you WANT to be doing is to have a baby. But that's my opinion.

 

babyonboard16 - January 29

It really depends on you as a person I mean you could either do it and regret it or love the fact you did it young. I'm 16 and pregnant unplanned but I'm happy. There's a lot of things you could experience if you didn't do it young but if you are ready at that point and you are able to support it I don't see anything wrong with it. But if you are the type who wants to get drunk at at 21 and all that I would wait sorry if this makes no sense I just woke up.

 

freebird - January 29

I think it's too young. I'm not a teen (as I've stated before) and I can tell you that the person I was at 25 was nothing like the person I was at 18. The 'college years' (whether you actually go or not) are really very formative years and in my opinion when most people actually come into adulthood. Take some time to enjoy living your life with some freedom. Plan a wedding and enjoy married life for a little while (it's nice to be 'just us' for a few years, I'm glad we did it). There's more to raising a baby than just the money and having a stable job. A stable family life is also really important and IMO it usually takes a marriage (or a relationship) a few years to stabilize enough to be able to survive the stress of having a baby. Look at all the girls who post on here that their b/f freaked out and left, cheated, etc. Most times they come back, but a pregnant woman doesn't need that sort of stress. An older man who you've been married to for a while is less likely to act that way because he is more mature than the average 20 year old (we hope, anyway, lol!) I'm not trying to put anyone down here, I'm just speaking from my own experience and giving you some things to think about. Good luck w/ your decision.

 

babii_boo91 - January 29

iunno im 15 and im finding it hard but f you both ahve a job and can support the baby then i say go for it but make sure ur ready

 

aamaria - January 30

I wouldnt say it was too young as long as you're stable enough and more or less prepared

 

CAROL - January 30

It is a lot easier for you to get all your ducks in a row without a baby. Having a baby delays getting stuff done, sometimes permanently. Anyway, you're 17, two years from now you will be a different girl than you are now. As someone who had a baby young, let me tell you that it hard as hell to try to do school, let alone the laundry, with a baby who needs you now. Wait until after you are finished your schooling. Wait until you can afford everything. Wait until you have a place to live without parents. Wait so you can give your child the best life possible. You won't regret it.

 

krissiix - January 31

Thanks so much for your opinions! I definately think I'll wait a couple more years. I'm not the kind of girl who's going to party it up in the next few years since I don't drink. But I do love my boyfriend very much and I'd love to spend extra time with him while I can. :o)

 

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