Teen Mommy But Dad Protests

15 Replies
Kat - February 28

im 19 and just recently found out that im pregnant. i found out so recently that ive still yet to get to my doctor's appointment. the father of my child and i have had many discussions about this situation and feel both pro and con about it. him bein 22, and i 19, we're obviously not old enough to raise a child. this being his 4th abortion. we both work full time jobs and make enough moeny to support ourselves. he is very supportive in both aspects of the dilemmia. he will stick by me no matter what path i choose. though im am against abortion, and only after i have done my research have i realized that im not positive i want to take that route. he does not want the baby. but how can i approach him with my sudden change of thought without him responding that im crazy and im only 19?? my sister had an abortion when she was 18 and there were difficulties to the point where she can no longer bear a child. if i couldnt have children i wouldnt be able to live with myself. im scared, and my mind is leaning in both directions. how can i choose??

 

? - February 28

I think in your situation you should seriously consider adoption. Having an abortion could in fact prevent you from having children in the future. It has happened to many women. If you feel you are not ready to parent your child there are millions of people waiting to adopt. If you want to talk you can email me [email protected] carefully weigh your options before you make a decision. It should be your choice and the choice you make should be what ever you can live with.Your choice will affect you the rest of your life whatever decision you do make.

 

Audrey - February 28

Kat- what do you mean about "this being his 4th abortion"? Would this be YOUR 4th abortion, or has he had other girlfriends in the past who have had abortions at his behest? I would be highly suspicious if the second scenario was the case. If he has not wanted babies in the past, what would make him change his mind now? I wish you luck in whatever you decide.

 

Your body - February 28

I'm happy that decided agianst abortion. If this would have been his fourth who really gives a d__n what he thinks about you keeping the baby? he obviously hasn't learned his lesson from the past and it sounds like he needs a little responsablity. Besides that he dosn't have much of a choice it's your body and therefor your choice. I like your sister had a abortion, fortunatly for me I can still have children but I had to be hospitalized for deppresion and attempted sucide shortly after b/c I kept hearing the baby crying in sleep and having nightmares about a child with no arms and legs and a face out of porportion I still have to go to therapy and it's almost been two years...the father of that child ...well it dosn't bother him at all he lives each day like nothing ever happend and has made the comment that "i drove myself crazy over nothing" I don't think in the situation he should help you decide it dosn't seem to phase him what he has done in the past so this probably wont either.

 

Julia - February 28

Kat, the decision concerning you and your baby are your choice not his. He obviously more experianced than you when it comes to abortions. He isnt the one who has to deal with it for the rest of his life. You just need to be honest with him and tell him the truth how you really feel. And if really loves you he will respect you and stand by you nomatter what. If he doesnt then he isnt worth yourt time. Just remember that it is your baby, growing in your body and you decided not him!!!!! email me anytime [email protected]

 

Grandpa Viv - February 28

The early abortion procedures (<7weeks) are less likely to have complications than the later procedure. God gave you the ability to choose which of your lifetime aliquot of 360 eggs to bring to maturity. Choose wisely. It is not easy.

 

to kat - March 1

Tell your b/f that these were not his 4 abortions and that it was the woman who he has moved on from now, there abortions and he seems to have a pattern . Now they are living with the decision whether it is good or bad to them and he is not out there to keep knocking woman up so the doctors can clean up his mess. Sorry but you can do better and you make the decision and not him, I am all for the two of you but he thinks this is a form of birthcontrol for him and if it was a woman that was doing this, she gets called alot sorts of names. Sorry but this post really ticked me off and I am sorry for you having to go through this I was 20 when I had my first and it was tough and the guy wasn't there for me either and he is a good dad as soon as our son was born and we are good friends now but he wanted me to do the abortion thing too and fortunately it was to late to do that because my son is 14 now and at a point in his life that is absolutely amazing, but kid you not it was very hard while I was preg and the decisions where tough, we never got back together because I refused to be with someone who could not support me when our son was growing inside me, like I said it was tough getting to be good friends like we are now. You need to think long and hard about what you want to do and be firm in your mind and heart and do not let him pursuade you to do something you do not want to do. Take care

 

ashley - March 2

i think ur old enough the both of you are and u guys have money to raise this baby i do not belive in abortion for my self but i know you guys can do this u just have to tell him your not haing a abortion and if he doesnt want the baby now trust me he will come around later!! i just had my baby i told my boyfriend we were having a baby when i was 3 months he didnt want it at all but i told him i would feel like a murder if i killed somthing thats half me and half him it's us i said and when i started showing he came around way more and wanted to be in this child's life more than anything! my baby is not 3 weeks old and my boyfriend is 17 and im 16 and we've been threw alot the words i had in my head all threw out my pregnacy was i know i can do this i know i can! and i stuck with it now my baby is my world i never want to leave him alone and i thank god with all my heart for this baby of mine and my boyfriends it brought me and my boy so much closer further apart at first but boys are scared at first cause they have a huge thing to take care of in life and he almost broke up with me when i told him but then i just said baby we can do this together now he try's everyday to make up for out lose on my 4th month with him not really being thier now he says my baby boy is his world and he's allways with my baby trust me your boy will get attached soon!! dont do a abortion it's not the right thing to do thats killing something thats half you and half your boyfriend.

 

Josh - March 3

Follow your heart. Its your kid too. Being his 4th abortion dosn't make him sound too good. (You think he would of learned after the first one.) Expecially if its with more than one girl. If you can support it you should. If my gf turns out to be pregnant, we are going to support it and, im 16 and shes 15. I made it, I'm going to support it. Do what you think is right.

 

jesika - April 18

hey i am sixteen and i just found out that i am pregnant and my baby's daddy doesnt want it. and i have thought about abortion and i cant do it.

 

to jesika - April 19

good for you, you dont have to do anything you dont want to, the decision is totally up to you no matter what anybody else says, if you don't think you can do it then there is always adoption if you think you can do it then that is great! don't let people fill your head with nonsense if you work hard and really want something you can do anything nothing can hold you back, not even a child. good luck!

 

sara - April 29

If there is one thing in my life i could change it would have been to keep my baby. I chose to have an abortion at 16 to avoid the embarrasment and what my parents would say. Now that it has been 6 years i wish i could go back, tell my parents the truth and ask for resources instead of thinking i would be alone if i did it. I had a good boyfriend that loved me and wanted to keep the baby and get married..i chose the other path and regret it. My prayers are with you..good choices and decisions will affect you for a lifetime..as do the wrong ones.

 

sara - May 9

do not kill that baby it did nothing wrong and how could you be able to live knowing you killed your baby. i think you should tell him that you are going to keep it and he needs to be there to support you in everything. after you have the baby you will love it and you will be so glad you kepted it trust me i was in the same boat . KEEP THE BABY or give it to a needing family who cant have kids but dont kill a baby that did nothing wrong!

 

Domonique - May 13

Tell him that abortion is not a form of birth control. Period. Any one who has gone through 4 abortions might be too immature to understand the severity of selfishness with regards to conception, pregnancy, life and death. Together, men and women act irresponsibly with regards to safe s_x and birth control but after a child is concieved it is the woman who bears the brunt of the physical and emotional consequenses. Men know this and in our society are taught to depend on it. No matter how much support he can give, it will be just that : support. He can empathize all he wants to but it is you who needs to make this decision on what is best for yourself and your child. That is the cost of motherhood, and making immature s_xual decisions. (yeah i'm pretty sure the condom didn't break four times.) any who...There are many people who can not only help you with your decision, but help you break the news to him. Family, close friends, anyone you trust. Really think about consulting a professional couselor who can counsel you both seperately and jointly about all of the issues involved with your situation. You'll be suprised how a specialist outside of the relationship can help with disecting all possible solutions. and remember: Life is always a struggle. Motherhood isn't more of a struggle, just a different kind of struggle. Much like the difference between being a firefighter and a police officer, or a politician and a teacher. There are different rewards and dangers that go along with each job. You now must choose between the life of a young woman or the life of a young mother. The latter may seem harder because young people make it harder. They spend all day thinking oh if i could still party or do this or all those things i could do if i didn't have a child.... never making the emotional decision to be a parent and in turn making their life more difficult than necessary. Make a choice and then commit to it. There is so much of my own experience that i wish i could share with you. Not only am i young - im only 20 - but i am a single, stay at home mother. Girl, I know about financial hardship because i was a homeless student when i got pregnant. Now i have my own apartment, making over 40,000 yearly, while working on my B.A. and raising the most wonderful person i know - my son. i'm here if you need me. Good luck. There is a world of people out there who can help you - who want to help you with all stages of your choices. Like jad Pinkett-Smith said "Girls hold up this world" we also hold up each other. im here for you and wish you luck. [email protected]

 

katie willy - May 13

keep the baby, and if you want get an adoption

 

???? - May 18

tell me some thing about abortion

 

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