Telling The Family

4 Replies
scared - May 23

Okay so i'm 20 years old and I'm almost sure i'm pregnant. Well me and my boyfriend had s_x and my parents hate him. The other day I asked my mom what she would do if I came home pregnant. She said that she would disown me and not claim the grandbaby as hers because she hates my ex-bf (Which he is my b/f but we have to sneak around to see each other). She and my whole family hate hiim (Because he had a bad past). We love each other very much and I told him about it, and he said he would support us and everything (He's 28). Anyway How can I tell my parents?

 

N - May 23

You're 20 years old, you are an adult and it has got nothing at all to do with them. If you trust him to support you and his baby thats all that counts. They would be very stupid to 'disown' you because you are having a baby with someone they dont like. As adults they should realise it is not the childs fault who his/her parents are. I think you need to be strong. First, find out if you truly are pregnant, and if you are, then you can think about telling them, as you may be worrying for nothing at the moment. So, if you are tell them straight, and that you will be doing this with or without their support. They will be the ones missing out on their grandchild. I don't really think at 20 you should be having to sneak around to see your boyfriend. If I was you, I'd try and get your own place. You will need it if you are pregnant.

 

scared - May 23

wow, thank you very much. My parents have got so strict with me since I dated my boyfriend. I have a curfew on weekends. I work full time at a law firm and on weekdays I have to be home for 10 if I go somewheres. My mom calls me most of the time to make sure where i'm at and she has to talk with the people who I am hanging out with just to make sure i'm there. Me and my boyfriend really care for each other and love each other and I can't move out now b/c I'm not finished school yet. (I will be in 6 months though). But really when I finished school or have my own place, I really think it would be for the best if me and my boyfriend had a child together though so i'm hoping i am pregnant. thanks so much!

 

N - May 23

Thats okay. I know theres all this 'while you're under my roof' stuff but I think they are being a bit silly, being so strict on you, and its proved its not the right way to go about it if you are still seeing your boyfriend anyway. I think at your age they need to be stepping back a bit and letting you make your own decisions. I think they should respect that you have a job and are finishing school. She shouldn't be calling all the time to check where you are. That seems a bit too much. Maybe you all need to sit down and have a talk, they need to accept that you are growing up and aren't a child anymore that needs constant protection. Seems you can't get the right balance nowadays, parents interfere too much, or not at all. I told my mom at 18 that I was pregnant, and she called me a s___t and that I wasnt welcome in 'her home' anymore. I just said 'its your loss' and walked away. Her stubborness made her miss out on the first year of her grand daughters life, before she finally got in contact with me. We're on okay terms now, but all that time had been wasted for no reason, and she only cut off her nose to spite her face. You'll be okay, as long as you stand up and not let them threaten you. Good luck!! xx

 

scared - May 23

wow thank you so much. They still think i'm 15 years old and that's how they are treating me. They have threatened me A LOT. They called me the meanest names ever and I still forgave them, but it's getting to that point where i'm tired of always getting treated like a 15 year old and then getting called mean names. I honestly think it's the best if I move out whether i'm pregnant or not. Thank you so much for the advise!

 

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