Thinking About Adoption

14 Replies
Rosie_Waldron_91 - February 11

hi, i found out that i am pregnant on friday. i am 15 and single. i am 6 weeks 1 day pregnant and due october 5th. i am not sure that i am ready to be a mum. i never wanted kids and to be i dont think i want this baby. when i took the test i thought yh i will keep it, why not it is a cute little baby to play with, cuddle, and it will be cute. but a baby is not a toy is it ? i mean i locve the baby and only want the best forit. but i have no money no boyfriend i am not excactly the best role model fgor a child am i knocked up at the age of 15. all i have to offer this baby is love and all though that is important its not enough is it ? i told my mum about this amnd she wants me to keep it. am so confused i ont know what to do. my heart is telling me to keep it but my head is telling me to put it up for adoption please i really need some support love, rosie

 

jessicaspatherapist - February 11

my mother had me at 17 and she kept me and i am grateful for that everyday of my life...because i got to grow up with my grandparents and aunts and uncles and i am very close to them all....my father on the other hand took off and joined the navy....so i was adopted by my stepdad at age 5. i never fit in with his parents the same way i do with my mother's family. please wait it out and think about this. your child will not care that you were a teen when you had them. believe me!!!!! good luck :)

 

Grandpa Viv - February 11

Do you have a stay-at -home mum who is anxious to have another baby to raise while you go about the business of being a teen and getting an education? Go for it! Are you ready to be woken every 2 hours through the night to tend to a baby, then get dressed for school? There is also such a thing as open adoption where you still get to have some contact with the child. Good luck with your decision.

 

ChattyKathy - February 11

Something happens when you hear the heartbeat or see it wiggle around for the first time. Something clicks. All those worries about will I be good enough dissapear and all you are left with is "wow... thats my baby". Wait until that moment. The previous commenter is right, your child wont care that you were a teen mom. If anything, it will respect the sacrifices you've made to ensure a happy and healthy home. Love gets you through pretty tough stuff. In my opinion, if you have love, that is enough. You'll figure the rest out. If after you see that little baby and have sometime to think things through you REALLY feel that this isn't something you can do, then consider adoption or perhaps an open adoption. You are going to be pregnant for 8 more months. You have some time to think about this.

 

EricaLynn - February 11

I agree that you should think about the decision first. Dont just decide right now, your just now finding out your pregnant. But I think adoption is the most selfless thing a person can do. There are so many awesome and loving familys that want a new baby but cant have one. If I hadnt been in such a stable and loving relationship I would have thought about adoption. I would have made an aweful decision if someone had offered adoption imediately after I had my daughter though.....I was ready to give her away for two weeks. Not now though, I have a hard time letting other people hold her! All I can say is that its your baby. Having an adopted family would be wonderful for the baby. But having to make that decision would be the hardest thing you would ever have to do. I would wait it out and start thinking about that more later. Open adoption would be good, its were you get to choose the babies family, and before the baby is born you get to make a plan of how often you will get to see the baby. You get to see pictures and email and stuff like that. So its not like you dont know were the baby is or how they are doing. I hope my rambleing helped a little! good luck!

 

jessicaspatherapist - February 11

just to reiterate...open adoption is NOT legally binding...the adoptive parents can discontinue contact at any point and you will have zero rights to that child. it is not like having your baby live with another family and you get to see them whenever you want. i have dozens of friends who are adopted, are birthparents and are adoptive parents...its not the easy route....at this point there is not easy route. i just hope whatever decision you make you are 100% with it before you do anything final.

 

EricaLynn - February 11

They can choose to discontinue contact. But YOU get to pick the family still. No one chooses a family for you.

 

tryin44 - February 11

I would wait til the baby is born. I think alot of people regret adopting their babies out but don't know what else to do but let the adoptive parents have it. Adoption is a very good thing for many and it is an extremely selfless mature act but it should not be taken lightly. Soon you will be bonding with that little baby inside you and your feelings might be different. I would definetly not rush to any decision.

 

landens_mom - February 13

I got pregnant when I was 16 and had my son at 17. I thought about adoption but wanted to wait until he was born. I was completely terrified about having a baby especially at 17 but now my son is 3 almost 4 and my world. It seems hard now and it will be to some point but it is worth it. The love of a child is undescribable. Good luck in your decision!

 

Nerdy_Girl_10242006 - February 13

I say you keep the baby, your mom is obviously willing to help you out with this. It isn't all fun and games and no a baby isn't a toy but it will be a good thing. And when it comes to this, follow your heart, your mind plays tricks on you. In your mind you don't want this baby, but believe me, everything will change the moment you hold that child in your arms. And although you are young there are many teens who can raise a baby better then those who are 20, 30, or 40. And love is the best thing and if you love this baby you will try harder. In the end it is your decision but I know the majority of the time things change. I just hope you make a decision you won't regret later down the road

 

sweeti - March 6

keep ur child u will regret it if u do it

 

abriamiacadia - March 6

..You know, Thats really mature of you to think about what all you can offer your kid. Most people arent that mature. Go with your heart. Alot of girls get pregnant at 15. Teach your child that it wasnt wise to get pregnant then but it happened, and that will make you a wonderful role model. And sometimes... Love is the best thing for your child. Cause if you dont love it you'll neglect it.

 

sweeti - March 6

trust me dont do it because did it and now i am regreting it everyday of my life just take each day at a time and u will see after a few years u will look back and say that i was telling u the truth

 

Terio - March 6

Rosie, Rosie.. you are wise beyond your years. You have a lot of time to think about this, but do not - please - get talked into keeping a baby at 15 if your wishes are to put the baby up for adoption. NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD is going to be responsible for this baby, but you, if you choose to keep it - and all the cheerleading you get from parents or friends about how you need to keep it, should be kept in perspective. It's you, not them. NO ONE can make this decision but you. Please don't get guilted into anything you you don't want to do. You've got a few months to decide, and I hope you'll keep us updated on what you decide to do. Good luck to you. :-)

 

xoxticiaxox - March 6

Your brave, I considered adoption for my child, because I cant even begin to think of the life my child will have. Im staying with a guy that is definitly not right for me, just so I can be with my baby at all times, and so he doesnt have alone time with her, because he is one of those people to hurt a child...and Im not going to wait untill it happens to do something about it, I considered adoption so she would have a good family, and not have to go through dealing with him....and I wish I was as strong as you right now! Your 15 and Im 17, and I cant do it, shes my little girl even though shes not born yet...! You have to do whats right for you and the baby, dont let everyone elses opinion make up your mind...its all you hunny...good luck!

 

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