THIS IS A LITTLE LONG AND IM SORY BUT I WANT SOME ADVICE

17 Replies
SADGIRL - September 21

Alright, please just hear me out because i am in a point where i need all the advice i can get from any women. My boyfreind and i just recently got into a big arugment and broke our relationship off. I am still unsure if i really truly want to be with him but i have other things on my mind. I think... i am pretty sure that i am going to have his baby. He is the love of my life dont get me wrong. When i met him, i was so scared because of my other relationships in the past and hearing about other couples relationshiop but when i met him, i gave my heart to him. I love him with all my heart and soul. When im without him, i feel like half of me is gone. I feel that i cant think, i cant breath i cant do anything. But when with him, i feel complete. I feel protected. I feel that i can accomplish anything just by having him next to me to give me that motivation. I am unsure if i stil wnat to put up with this unhealthy relatinshipo that we are in. We have useless arugments. Our relatinship is not healthy. There are times that everyting is arlight and good between us but then there are these times that he changes into a compelthy diff pearson. I dont knwo what i am going to do about his baby and i am hoping that someone can help me out. I feel that my stomah is getting a little tinny bit harder then usual. I notice that i eat a grip compared to what i use to in the past and my frequent bathroom visits have double. I should say trippled. There are times out of the day that i crave types of foods. Other times, i feel like i cant eat at all. Most of the day, i feel butterflys in my stoamch as well as shooting cramps. I would love to have a family with this man. But, our relatinship is unhjealthy and i dont know what i could do to fix it. I really dont know how to tell him, when i find out that i am, that i am truly pregnant. Should i be straight with him? Should i give him clues? And about wanting to be with him, should i try and make it work? For the life of me, i would love to make it work with him. I would love to be able to call him my man and be proud but its just that our fighting is getting out of controll. How can i fix our fights? How can i make this relatinship healthy? I need advice please. I feel all alone. Help me out.. I know that this is a pregnancy site, and yes my questions our about pregnancy but this is more about our relaatinship problme and im sory. But i am so confused..

 

Andi - September 21

I think you need to tell him how you are feeling, tell him exactly what you just said about only feeling complete when you are with him. Also take a pregnancy test. If it comes back positive then you need to tell him. If you truely want to be with him then tell him. Maybe you 2 can go to a counselor about your issue. always remember that when you are fighting you should say things like "I feel" don't play the blame game because you are both at fault because you are both fighting. also if you are pregnant, your hormones could be acting up quite a bit. Anyways, I hope that this helps

 

=( - September 21

How old are you??im 15. honestly im telling you from the bottom of my heart that youre not alone, i get EXACTLY what you mean about your relationship. i go through the same thing with my boyfriend. we argue all the time and i know that its not a healthy relationship and im always crying because it hurts me that he acts like that with me. we go to different schools and there are days where we dont get to see eachother and thats when i feel him different and its like you said a completely different person. He brakes up with me but then we end up getting back together. i get back with him even though i know that im gonna go through it again and im so confused too, when im not with him im suffering inside i cry by myself.When we are together i feel like the happiest girl in the world...COMPLETE just like you said. The way that you explained how much you love him and how you feel with and without him is exactly how i feel. when i was reading it i got so surprised to find someone who understands me because my friends dont, they tell me that why do i take it, that there are so many other guys out there, why do i cry for him if hes just a guy...they just dont get how much i love him and that even though there are other guys i dont want them, i just want my boyfriend. we have thought that ive been pregnant before but i wasnt. i just want for everything to get better for you and me and im saying you because i know how it feels and i wouldnt wish for any other girl to go through what im going through. obviously i cant answer your questiond cause im going through the same thing but just know that youre not alone. where do you live??

 

sadgirl - September 21

To both comments, thank you so much for answering back to this post. I know that it is a bit long but i was really needing some advice. No one has been throught when i am going through right now. Everyones exprince is diff so no one completly understands. To =(, you are EXZACLTY like me. Thoughts and everyything. I know that i am going to go throught the pain again with being with him but just to know that i am without him, brings so much hurt into my heart. Because, he is the one that i wish to mary. He is the one that i feel is my one and only. We only have been together for 10 months and i sware to god, i feel that i know his whole past. I feel tha ti knwo everything about him But then there are theset imes, that he just treats me like if im dirt to hiom. He trys and acts possesive of me like if i am a piece of jewlery. He needs to understand that i am a grown pearson. I have the right to do what i feel liek doing. But when teling him , i feel that iam the one that is disrespecting. I am faithfull to him, i love him with my life but i just dont know what i amg oing to d. I would love to go and see a councler but sometimes, i just feel that he likes the fighting. He likes to know that i am always going to say " i love you, stop doing this.. lets be happy" and thigs of that sort. I am going to tell him no mater what if i am preg or not. I have told him just a couple days ago that i think that i stil could be and same with last night when fighting. I even tryed resolving his issues, even though this fight, he was the one at fault but he told me " not yet". I dont understand what i need to do. I dont knwo if our relatinship is truly going to work but i hope to god that it wil. It feels to me, that god gives me something that feels soo real and so tresurable but then takes it away from you like if its not yours to begin with. I have tryed, till today, to resoeve our issues. Maybe having a long discution with him but he just refuses to pick up any of my calls. How do i get throught to him that i am tried of the fighting? Tired of the arugemts? Do i need to leave him for a couple of days, even weks, to let him see what i reallly am? For him to understand that he needs to tressure me like if he loves me, not like if i am a peice of jewlery? I am lost, and hurt... i dont know what to do and this pregnancy thing as well is puting so much pain and confusin into my heart..

 

=( - September 21

I swear that its just so crazy how we are going through the same thing.I cant even finish telling you how everything is exactly the same. well ihave been eith my boyfriend for 2 years and 5 months but i know that when i had 10 months with him i felt the same as you just that it was a little better for me back then because we were in the same school so we were together all the time even though we would still fight. i get what you mean with your boyfriend treating you like dirt because thats how he is with me and im so tired of it that sometimes i just want to give up and let it go but then i imagine myself without him and my heart hurts so bad because i need him and love him. i think that he likes us fighting too just like you said about you boyfriend because he comes up with the stupidest little things to talk c___p to me and i think that he keeps doing it beacuse he knows that even though he trats me like that im still gonna go kiss a__s to him. sometimes he clicks on me and i think to myself "im not going to call him back, im not going to kiss his a__s" and next thing you know im calling him to tell him to please stop that i love him. And sometimes i wonder what am i suppose to do for him to realize that he has a girlfriend who loves him with all her heart and would do anything for him and i try to do as much as i can...you know! im faithful to him now and im saying now because 2 years and 1 month ago i cheated on him. i regret it with all my heart, i wish i could go back in time and change it from the moment that i met the guys. What i did is what caused my boyfriend to be like this with me because he doesnt trust me and he always blames me for something im not doing. i mean i know its all my fault but its not for him to treat me like dirt either though, you know. its so frusturating up to the point that i feel like falling asleep and never waking up...MAYBE then he would realize what he had. he just doesnt understand that im not going to mess up again and that i dont want to lose him, when im in school all i can think about is him i dont even talk to guys but he doesnt keep it in mind all he thinks about is me probably being a s___t. you didnt tell me how old you are and where you are from?

 

don't worry - September 21

Your puppy love will pa__s

 

kelly - September 22

Ladies, I went through exactly the same as you. I was 17 and thought this guy was everything I could ever want. I stayed with him for 10 years and it never changed. I wasted so many years thinking that it would get better but I loved him anyway. Well, I eventually left him, and now I know what real love is. Good luck with your guys I hope things work out ok, but please don't waste as much time as I did!

 

- September 22

First u need to find out if your pregnant or not? Most of the time its a false alarm. You make yourself believe you are pregnant.

 

=( - September 22

people say that we think we are in love but that were really not?? why do you say that?? how do YOU know if we really love a person or not??

 

kelly - September 22

I was only speaking from my experience. Looking back I changed a lot in those 10 years. I know a few girls who met their partners at young ages and are still with them and happy. I wasn't trying to put you down - just sharing my unhappy experience!

 

=( - September 22

kelly no i know that you werent tryng to put us down but im saying it because people say you dont love him you just thimk you do or its just lust or puppy love like someone above said and i want to know why. how do they know what im feeling, how do they know if someone really loves another person? they make it seem that just because we are teens we cant have the feeling of loving someone. thanks though for telling us about happened to you.

 

Honey - September 23

I hope you werent saying that I meant that you didnt love him. Because if thats the message I sent, I didnt mean it to come across that way. But sometimes you DO think that you are in love with someone, but realize later that it wasnt love. Please trust me on this. Even if it is not your personal experience, it does happen. I am 19, and when I was 16 (after I realized my kids dad was a joke), I started dating my best friend. Thats how I learned what real love was. We just recently broke up, about 3 or 4 months ago. I will love him forever, and maybe things will work out eventually. I hated how everyone tried to tell me I was too young to feel such strong feelings, because I know exactly how I felt. I had no doubts about him, and our relationship, or myself. He made me feel like a beauty queen, even when I woke up in the mornings and my hair was all over the place. We had a lot of troubles too though, mainly caused by my family. I was made to move far away from him. Everyone said I would get over it. But it didnt work out that way. We finally got back together and we were engaged. The day we broke up was the day we were supposed to get married. Those were the best 3 years of my life. So nobody can tell if you really love someone. Thats only for you to know.

 

Melissa - September 23

I thought I was in love too, at 13 I lost my virginity to this guy, to the point where I would have taken my life. I was just obssest, over the very little "I love you" and hugs I got. Also I mistaken s_x for love. He was just using me, and it didn't take me long to figure it out. I think because he was my first I blinded myself over the fact that he was a jerk, and only called me for s_x. What you need to do is write down in a peice of paper all the good on one side, and all the bad on the other....you will see that if the bad is longer than there is a BIG problem. If he's verbal to you at this time, then its only a matter of time before he starts to hit you. You need to see the situation through another persons eyes, what if this was going on with your sister? Child? If your mind and common sence tells you to leave...you better run. No one deserves to be treated that way.

 

sadgirl - September 23

Thankz to every one so much. I didnt realize that so many people had so many comment to say bout my post. Well to update, i have actually had another pregnancy scare before this one. I told my partner( the one that i am with now... or i should say ex at this point) was excited. He said that he would do everything for this baby and me. He would take care of us because he knows what it feels like to not have someone for them. Well, when i found out i wasnt.. He was a little bit upset but figured that it was for the best and put it up in gods hands because we are both farily young and its jus not the time for us to have a baby. Well, this time. About maybe being preg. I just today, the 22nd, started to have some light pink spotting.( whicn im supose to get my period on the 27th or the 30th) It really scared my nervs cuz i have never expeirnced this before. The spotting seemd that it has gone away but i dont know if that is a sign. I am going to wait a couple more days to take the test. I have talked to my " ex" today. I gave him days to call me back and he has. I have shed so many tears for him. I may be young, but TRUST ME i have been trough experinces that you would nto imagain. I got raped, i contraced an std, i was treated wrongly by guys, freinds( so called freinds) ect. My parents and just my thought on myself was bad. When i met the one that i am with right now, he changed my world. He wants to make everyuthing right withfamily and myself. He is just a good pearson over all. The only thing wrong, is once n a while, he just has these attidue problmes to where i feel that our love, on his side, isnt valued. He caled me and we are trying to work it out but i am going to tell him everything that is on my mind. It has been hard to leave him, but the same time, it is hard to be with him as well and i hope that me having this convo and having a couple days apart( which to both of us, have felt like months) hope to make us into a better, happly couple. And if it does not work, then i just have to throw my hands in the air and say i give up. There is so much a women can do for the pearson that she loves and if it is just not working, what else can i do?... um i do have a question to ask, about my bright pink spotting, that has gone away now, do you think that is an indication of pregnancy???

 

Kelly - September 23

Hmm, it could be implantation spotting! I just want to say I hope everything goes ok with your bf, good luck hun.

 

=( to SADGIRL - September 23

How old are you?? where do you live?? i still feel the way you do like you said about his att_tude problem and how it seems that sometimes he dont value our love. and its also true about how its hard to be without him but at the same time be with him cuz of the way he is. and also like you said there is so much that i can do for him and if its just not working, what else can i do?

 

Jessica Thompsom - September 24

I suggest asking him bout kids ang go from there if he seems excited about it. give him a chance, but the first time he messes up leave him and let him know before hand you will leave him if doesn't act right. if he doesn't want to be tied down with a baby let him loose. its better being alone than being in a bad relationship. when i say you i mean u and ur baby.

 

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