To Maren

4 Replies
jg - February 20

Hi Maren. I was interested in what your situation is? It sounds as if you are pregnant, but maybe not too happy about it? I've read a few of your posts, and you seem to strongly discourage young girls from trying to get pregnant. I admire a lot of what you say. Is everything all right for you?

 

maren - February 20

hi jg, yes i am 21 weeks pregnant. However i could not be happier. everything is going great actually for me i have my next appointment on wendsday. i have emotional suport from my family and boyfriend. honestly i am really excited and cant wait to have this baby. But from things i have so far gone through like emotional changes and such i know that if they are stressfull on me and my body i can only imagine what that would do to a 15 year old. true im 19 and conceder myself pretty grown up, everytime i look and think about what needs to be done still i grow up yet just a little more. It breaks my heart to see these young girls at 13 or 14 wanting to have babies becasue they are not even in high school yet, how do they plan to finish school and make a living for themselves and there child. I understand that lots of girls have and are going to high school. And i honestly admire those girls because the high school crowd is a rough one, sometimes they can be so mean and insensitive. Dont get me wrong im not going to sit here and bash anyone at all espicially if they got pregnant on "acident" (that just sounds so horible lol) because that was how i ended up pregnant, i was on birth control accidents happen. But trying to get pregnant at such a young age i dont understand i dont know about anyone else but i loved doing high school extra curiculars, i played soccer for a few years, did a ton of events in the band....and who can forget the high school dances they were a blast, i also went on several almost 2 week long trips with my school. now if i had been pregnant at 15 for me that would have been my freshman year, i doubt that i would have been able to do a fourth of that. yea i probably would have been able to go to a dance or two and maybe be in a band concert or two but i would not have been able to do everything i had done. So many of these girl that are trying, say that they have thought about everything that has to be done. I dont doubt at all that they have thought about some of the things that have to be done. I know many of them think of the social aspect and how that will be effected when they have a baby and they also think about how much diapers and formula cost. Not to many of these younger girls have thought about the doctor cost, the doctor visits, the pelvic exams, the hospital visit, the birth, the hospital bill, the babys doctor bill, the babys hospital bills. lol i know at 15 i would not even think that if you get pregnant you need to have a pelvic exam, let me tell you anyone reading this if you like your personal space and dont like strangers in croch dont get pregnant because they do a palvic exam in the begining when you find out your pregnant and then towards the end of your pregnancy they dont do a pelvic exam but the do check how dialated you are. As soon as i found out i was pregnant after telling my boyfriend the first thing i did was call my moms insuarance company to see what they all covered for me as far as doctor visits. After that i made an appointment with my doctor and went in as soon as i could because i wanted what was best for me and my child. let me tell you when i had to sign the paper that told me how much it was going to cost for me to see my doctor just my doctor for me not even the baby i just gasped at the price. True my moms insurance will cover 80% of that but i though omg i cant afford that, then i found out how much the hopital visit was going to cost and the babys hospital and doctor visits that all was adding up very fast for me. Especially because the baby wasnt covered under my parents insurance. At 15 i would have never thought having a baby would cost so much heck i wouldnt ahve thought that now if i was not expecting lol. And at 15 i wouldnt have thought of getting government a__sistance. I dont doubt that many of the young mothers out there are good mothers because they are going to love there child as much as i love mine or as much as some older woman would love hers. I know that it is going to be very difficult to raise a child and go to college full time but that is a sacrafice that im making to insure that me and my child will have an easier life in afew years. I couldnt even imagine trying to go through this in high school. The main reason i say dont try to get pregnant at a young age are pretty much what i say above but the other reason is i guess i dont understand why, makes sense im not that girl. Dont get me wrong ever since i was a little girl i knew that i wanted children, there were even times that i would just sit and dream about that when i was 14 or 15. But it was never in the here and now as much as i wanted a child i knew that it would live a much better life the older i got. For all of you teen moms out there congradulations i am happy for you for many people being a mother is one of the best things that can happen in your life, and i want to say keep up the good work, even if other people look down on you try not to let it get to you because there is you child sitting there looking up to you and loving you because THEY know that you are the best mom in the world. Its kinda long sorry about that it is just how i feel. I will never tell someone what they can and cant do because one i would not want someone i dont know doing that to me and two i dont think anyone would listen. Im just here to give another side of it and hope it helps make your decisions a little bit easier. I love being pregnant just knowing that im right here for my child is the best feeling in the world, to just sit here and write a post on this board and feel my child moving and kicking is the best thing i could be feeling right now. But would i have ever gotten pregnant just to feel this happy this time in my life my answer is no., pregnancy is different for everyone and inless you have been pregnant before you wont know how being pregnant will effect you. jg- im glad that someone at least admires what i have said wether it has help your or what it has done im glad that it has done something for you.

 

EricaP - February 20

Maren do you have an email? Im 19 too mine is already born though, itd be nice to talk to someone my age:) if you want you can add me [email protected], or ericacolleen2005 for aim. Or you can just list ur addy.

 

maren - February 20

my email is [email protected] or my aim is TyTazz4now congradulations!!!

 

jg - February 21

Hi again Maren. I am 28 and after years and years of trying have an 8 month old son. My husband and I are so thrilled and could not be happier. I share your concerns about youngs girls trying to get pregnant. I wish that every baby in the world can have what my baby has. My husband and I have been married for 7 1/2 years, and in that time we have both worked hard, and are in a fantastic position to provide everything that our child will need, in every way. It makes me sad that young girls are trying to get themselves pregnant. You sound very sensible and are a great example to these girls that even at 19 it is hard work and financially a struggle, and it takes courage to admit that even though you are happy being pregnant, you would not have planned for it to happen just yet. These girls need people like you to tell them what it is really like, because due to immaturity, (and that is NOT a critisism, it is just a biological fact - you are not supposed to be mature yet), they will "generally" not take advice from older mums. So keep on telling it like it is. Good luck to you.

 

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