What Am I To Do -pg12031035618

5 Replies
littlemissSunshine - February 15

Im 18 years old. My boyfriend and I have been having unprotected s_x for over a year now and i am pretty good about being aware of the times that i can and cant get pregnant. I've never been a big fan of the thought of having children at a young age because im in college, my boyfriend leaves frequently for the merchant marines, and i want to be prepared when i finally have a child. For the last few months, my period has been weird and i've been having pms symptoms at times that were nowhere near the time of my period [i.e. cramps, tender br___ts, bloating, fatigue etc] i have weird cravings during my period too and it started happening outside of my period. I took an at home preg test and it said im not pregnant. when i went to the doctor for a pap test he didnt mention anything of it so i know im not pregnant, but i still have alot of pregnancy symptoms. i still have my period every month, but they're irregular. i dont understand what's going on. the doctor said that i may have a hormone imbalance and that i should take birth control. i was very afraid when i thought that i could be pregnant, but now that i know that i'm not......... i want to be pregnant. I know its not a good idea, but i really want to have a baby with my boyfriend. I know we iarent ready but it seems like he wants it too. Ever since we had the preg scare, if i tell him i need to talk to him, the first thing he says is "are you pregnant?" and he doesnt say it in an upset kind of way. He asked me one day "why doesnt my sperm work?" and it confuses me because we always say that we arent ready yet but im just afraid to tell him that i want a baby, could he be the same way? I dont want to put us in a situation that we arent ready for but i cant get over the strong desire for a baby with him.

 

PreciousBaby19 - February 15

thats desire is strong and its going to take some time to get used too. but you can't have a baby because you BOTH WANT IT. especially if he is leaving all the time due to military contract. You obviously aren't ready. being away can put more stress on eachother than it needs too and adding a baby into that just isn't smart. Now i dont understand why you aren't wearing condoms even when you know a general idea when you can and can't get pregnant because sometimes you can't predict ovulation. And you even had a scare so obviously its not working. Hormone problem is quite common in this situation. I was just diagnosed with hypothyroid that did pretty much the same thing with my period. Making it completely different and further apart. All i can say is.. get on some birth control, fix your period, stop thinking about what YOU WANT because you KNOW your not ready. ou said it yourself. And why dont you look forward to getting a house together first or getting married even. You dont need to rush it...your stilli n college...you never know...you might fall out with him being in the military. Dont rush, slow down. You have plenty of time. Especially if your in college because you have to focus on bettering yourself to get a wounderful job. Honestly you may be able tos c___pe by with a baby but in the end...you know your not ready and to purposly try would be selfish. This is my honest opinion, however if you do choose that its what you are going to do together then i wish you nothing but the best. After all its your life and no one can really tell you what to do. Just only give you options, opinions and tons of things to think about..

 

Malica - February 15

Try focusing on how you will be a better role model for your children by having experienced college, getting yourself an education, and being married first. Would you want your son or daughter to grow up to be unwed and uneducated parents? If you want to be a good parent you need to focus on what's best for them over your own desires. It sounds like your head already knows what's best even if it's not agreeing with your heart right now. There will come a time when they with both agree with each other. That's when it's time to start seriously discussing it.

 

amanda17 - February 15

Patience is a virtue. Instead of getting pregnant right away, why not take this time to prepare to be a mom. Get your finances in order, think of what sacrifices come with having a baby and really take your time to make everything perfect. Then when you are confident everything is perfectly set up, have a child. They really deserve the best you can give, don't you think? (In other words, i agree with PerciousBaby19 and Malica)

 

Merciii - February 19

I think its natural to feel like that. Really, until you have a "scare" the thought of having kids doesnt really enter your mind. Once you have that, you have those few days (or weeks whatever) to think about it and inevitably you start imagining what it would be like with YOUR child. Your minds bound to come up with the pros and cons. Not everything about having kids young is negative. Sometimes you can feel upset when it turns out you arent pregnant, even if its totally for the best. What you've got to do is hang onto common sense for a while, even though it is difficult. I'd try and keep in mind how much better and comfortable it will be when you're more settled :-) But as I said, I think its only natural to feel like you do. On another note, if they think you've got a hormone imbalance they need to get it sorted out, but I STRONGLY suggest NOT going on birthcontrol for that reason only. People might cyberslap me for telling someone not to go on bc, but in a lot of cases I've seen when it comes to using bc as "treatment" for hormone problems, it only serves to make things worse, and prolongs problems.

 

anythya - March 13

hey lil miss sunshine i feel exactly like u do im 20 and a couple of months ago i had a scare and thought i was pregnant problem was we both kinda wanted to keep it (this is b4 i realised i wasnt) we had decided that if i was pregnant it was in our best interest to get a abortion .....i have always w3anted kids im great with them i work with kids and used to run my own baby sitting business i also brought up my lil brothers so i have always had the kids around me and atm i feel a deep strong desire to have a child i kno ppl would say that im not old enough although im extremely mature my mum had me at 18 and i always told myself to wait till i was 21 (as i have to have children b4 im 23) but im also not sure how to tell my bf that i want them =S so i understand im with u

 

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