What Is The Matter With You People

13 Replies
Donna - May 22

When a 15 year old girl gets pregnant and wants to give her baby up, you older, more mature people start THROWING your emails at her like its an auction. Seriously, what is the deal with that? If you had an ounce of sense you would direct her to an adoption agency, instead of saying, "oh my god! I cant have babies! give it to me!" it seems that you are all in such a hurry to get a baby that you dont know the first thing about children. You are all out of control. Be an adult. Do the right thing. Dont toss your emails and sob stories at the girls. Sympathy is not a reason to raise a baby. Think about it.

 

Jen - May 22

First of all before seeing an adoption agency she should probably talk to an adult first. Second of all private adoptions are fine and happen all the time and do work out. Yes adoption agency is one way but there are other ways to meet an adoptive couple. An adoption agency makes a match and some talk to these girls to make sure this is what they want. They don't need an adoption agency for that. All adoptive parents have to have a home study and go through the same things if they go through an adoption agency or not. Most adoptive parents do know alot about children and want a family...i have no idea what you are talking about there. There are a lot of steps before you adopt a child so its not like an adoptive couple just says give me your baby, takes the child and leaves...like the way you make it sound. I agree that some of the posts go too far and even sound a little desperate...not really sure what to say about that.

 

Jen - May 22

Also my son is adopted and I don't feel as though I won him on some auction. Yes, his birhtmohter had many couples and she wanted us to raise him but I never would have even thought of it as an auction. As for your comment about being in a hurry...all I can say is when you are ready to start a family and it takes so long you start to feel scared that you will never have one and it becomes something you want so bad.

 

I'm Sorry!!!!!! - May 22

You probably don't want to hear this. I am going to say it any way. Please keep an open mind to what I'm about to say.You should not use teen pregnancy forum to look for a baby. These girls have enough problems. They don't need "older women" trying to pressure them into adoption. This is a teen forum! Not a adoption agency. If you don't quatify at a adoption agency, then there is a reason why. Maybe because of your age, health, or criminal record. Please stop hara__sing this young women. Try to find a child the right way. This is from a 29 year old mom. You are suppose to be here to give advice. Not to make these girls feel sorry for you. Think about it. Please try not to take this personal. There is many kids that need a healthy loving home. Try a adoption agency.

 

To: I'm Sorry - May 23

I agree with you, I'm sick of seeing all these people flooding a post from a girl who is only THINKING about adoption. Although I feel for the women who can't have kids naturally, they should really go to an agency or find another alternative than coming onto a TEEN pregnancy forum, acting like these girls are just going to give you a baby because you tell your sob stories. And before all you adoptive people come on here upsrt about this post, let me just take a moment to play my little violin for you.

 

Mez - May 23

Have you noticed the posts where these people have jumped on frantically that the original poster has never come back? Either they lied, or got frightened off.

 

J - May 23

I have wondered myself if some of the adoption posts were fake. Maybe kids that think it is funny to watch people desperate to have a baby fall all over themselves. It is on the other hand very possible that they were legitimate but got overwhelmed by the response.

 

I'm Sorry!!!!!! - May 23

These young ladies are here to talk to someone and get support. I agree with you about feeling for these ladies that can't have children. But this is not the place to get sympathy. It is not right to try to talk these young women out of their babies. If you can't adopt the right way. Then there is something wrong.I agree with you all. Both sides get hurt. The young lady get scare b/c these adoption people throwing emails at her. The adoption people can get tricked out of money and time. This is not the place to find a baby. Young ladies, you have your whole life in front of you. Do what is best for you and your child. I had my first child at 20. I was very afraid. Hormones can cause a lot of crazy thoughs. Once you hold that precious baby, all those thoughs go away. Always speak to family and friends before making a huge decision about your unborn child. You are much stronger than you think. Good Luck!!!!

 

Jen - May 23

Again, to adopt..you need a home study and that includes a criminal backgroud check so 99.9 % of people that want to adopt are not criminals..come on these are good people. Again, there are many steps to an adoption there are many chances for a girl or woman to change her mind. A lot of these girls are 18 and old enough to have s_x and can decide if adoption is right for them. AGAIN, adoption takes time and there are steps to adopt. There is plenty of time for someone to change her mind...a person wanting to adopt does not just go and pick up a baby and leave. Adoption agenies are fine to use but take a long time so if a couple looking to adopt wants to find a situation an their own, they can do that. This is America. And for the remark that if it takes a long time theres something wrong, you just don't know what you are talking about. Domestic adoption takes a long time unless you are a millionaire. In my case to adopt our son, we found a match in four months (rare), I know great couples that have been waiting two years on lists. If these young ladies want adoption for their babies, don't make them think that they are making a bad decision. Maybe it was not a decision you would want but for some people it is the right decision. You don't know someone until you walk in their shoes.

 

Nanna Ronni - May 23

I too have concerns about all the desperation that seem so apparent on thses boards. I am aware that there are specific checks that are carried out on prospective adoptive parents, well they are in the UK, however, l am not too sure about how stringent they are in any other country and certainly not in regards to private adoptions. I will say again as l have posted elsewhere, l myself was adoptd privately. Ok it was over 30 years ago and hopefully this would never happen again to an adopted child. BUT I was severley abused by my adoptive parents, s_xually, physically and emotionally for 16 years of my life. They appeared to the general public as very caring, they already had three children of their own. They both were teachers and were financially very secure. They demonstrated to the world what loving family they were. Sadly behind closed doors, they were monsters, who l can only believe adopted me purely to harm me, as they didnt harm their natural children. So whilst l am NOT against adoption, l cannot stress enough that folk really need to be cautious as to who they want their children to be brought up by.

 

Carri - May 23

I completed agree with the poster. Shame on all of you - I don't care how desperate you are, there is a young teen who needs some help and should be given all options for consideration not just those that selfishly meet your needs. I realize that some of you REALLY want a baby but keep in mind, some of these young girls are practically babies and need some OBJECTIVE advice.

 

Jen - May 23

I do agree that the levels of some posters go too far. This is a nice post and even though we all don't agree, we are talking about it and not bashing each other. We should all email and see if they can start some kind of adoption board.

 

I'm Sorry!!!!!! - May 24

Jen, I hope your adoption dreams come true. I am so happy this didn't turn into a shouting match. Good Luck and thanks for understanding both sides of this...Baby Dust!!!!

 

Jen - May 24

oh thanks and my husband and I decided just to go with the same agency as we did with our first adoption. we are so happy with our son that i don't mind if it takes a while. I also have to say that i am a little concered at some of the adoption posts..though I do understand. Some adoptive parents will say or do anything to fill their own dreams and thats not good for everyone involed, especially a young girl. So I really do see both sides. I think I am addicted to this board an reading the posts.

 

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