What To Do

10 Replies
Confused - June 30

I'm due in 4 weeks and 2 days... July 30th. I'm 17, my fiance is 19.... and we are well past the whole what will our parents say deal. heres the thing. I dont want it... and never had. I wouldnt hurt her or anything but i just never wanted kids... never planned on it. Ppl said oh you will once u carry her for a while. Truth is... i'm 36wks and still haven't changed my mind. I don't want to worry about another person besides myself, I don't want to be called mom. I mean, granted I'm 17... but i graduated at 15, started college at 15... and have a great job at a hospital, and am still going to school. What do I do now

 

well - June 30

First of all, dont you think it's almost a little too late to do the right thing for your baby? Obviously the right thing for you would have been not to get pregnant in the first place. Since you are, had you ever thought of adoption? Giving the baby to someone who is going to care for it? You sound pretty selfish. Dont want to worry about another person besides yourself? What the hell are you doing working in a hospital? I think you should start looking for someone to take care of this baby, if you dont want it. But you know what? It's too bad you cant love this baby, I'll bet you anything that it loves you right now! Whether or not it can call you Mom at the moment, doesn't matter... it KNOWS you are its Mom.

 

- - June 30

To late to do the right thing? What is the right thing? Theres nothing I can do at this point in time except if it came down to it set up an adoption. I'm not selfish, I'm just not a person who wants kids. Working in a hospital and caring for other people short term is nothing someone like you should be questioning. It feels more like my sister, or... something. Not someone I'm going to get all close to. Like a long term babysitting job.

 

ok - June 30

you are 17 and already in college. As you can see you are not like everyone else. Having a good job at a hospital at 17makes you more responsible than most adults, my opinion. You seem good enough to take care of a baby. PLEASE don abort, you can have it and give it into adoption. God Bless!!!

 

Chole - June 30

Hey hun, its ok, and it is never to late to decide what to do. I placed my daughter Taygan up for adoption. I was 13 when I had her. You are already to far along to legaly abort the baby, and since you have already made it this far if you dont think you are ready to be a mom then there are so many families that cant have babies of their own. I have a very open adoption with my daughter, and she knows me, we usually visit eachother at least once a month and I get so many pictures and videos of her. She just turned 5 in January. It sounds like you would be able to raise the baby, but would the baby be happy? You are the only one that can decide this. It is never to late to choose adoption, or if you see the baby and you want to parent it then that is great too. Well I would love to chat with you sometime if you want to, my email is [email protected] I dont think that you are a bad person at all, you have so much life ahead of you, and you are a great person for even considering adoption, and letting another couple the chance to be parents and to give your child every thing that you could ever wish for it. Its not a bad thing that you dont want it, and its ok if you dont want kids. There is nothing wrong with that. Hugs Chole Birthmommy to Taygan Mommy to Carter

 

- - June 30

Aborting it hasn't even crossed my mind. I wouldn't do that. I'm not against abortion but it's just something I wouldn't do. Anyways, yes I think I'll have to email you... it's such a frustrating thing and because the dad and I are together his opinion is getting in the way.

 

well - June 30

I never said anything about aborting the baby!!!!! In my opinion, the right thing to do would be give it up for adoption! Dont read between the lines ladies! Just what is someone like me anyways? A soon-to-be mother that loves the baby inside her? Oh I'm so awful.....a mom shouldn't feel like she's babysitting, and if you do then I feel sorry for you, I really do. But not as much as I feel sorry for your baby.

 

Lisa - June 30

Firstly, I would seek out a good counsellor and talk your feelings over with them. You need to make a decision fairly soon about what you plan to do. Have you spoken to your parents about it? What have they suggested? You might change your mind when the baby is born. What do YOU think would be best? The only person that can make the decision now is you...I don't envy your situation at all. Do what you feel is best for all invloved.

 

kellyandbeth - June 30

Confused, I can see why you are confused. It is never easy to be a part of something you never wanted. But, nonetheless here you are. I have been reading some of the other posts and there are some valid points, there are only 4 weeks left until someone will be brought into this world that is going to need someone to want them. I realize you wouldn't hurt her but it sounds like you are an intelligent young woman and realize at best she is going to feel some distance between the two of you. We are in the process of trying to adopt so I can really only see things from a person longing to be where you are. You may want to consider Open Adoption; one of the earlier posts speaks of it as well. If you would like more information you can visit our web site at http://www.kellyandbeth.com. There are links on our site to agencies that might be able to help. No matter what you choose to do make sure it is first, what is best for your child and secondly what is true to your heart. We wish you all the luck and courage you need. KellyandBeth

 

Familiar story - June 30

You know this reminds me of a story a I read where the mother had a baby at seventeen with her twenty one year old husband. She didn't want it and abused the baby when it was born. The father left when the mother and girl was about eight because he couldn't stand his wife any longer. The mother didn't care and was happy her husband left and told the girl she would naver see her father again. I swear I read a story like this. I'm serious, but I'm not saying you would do anything like that, I just remembered that story when I read this.

 

settle down - June 30

is this a joke? what are you a guy or something? I've heard guys talk like that, girls not so much.... supreme overloard of the earth? somebody watches too much Star Trek

 

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