Anyone Else Got A Problem Husband

17 Replies
lou - September 30

my husband and I are having a bad time, he never does anything to help out unless i ask and then does stuff but doesnt want to, he goes out drinking every week telling me he will be bavk early never to get back till about 4 in the morning compleatly p___sed, he never asks how i feel and just moans about his life and working, ive got three weeks to go and feel like this should be a great time but he is ruining it, I get mad at him as he is so thoughtless, s_x is out of the question, we havent passionatly kissed or had s_x for months, im feeling like id be better off without him but am trying to hold onto the hope that when the baby comes along he might change! that old cliche.

 

Heidi - September 30

Sorry to hear about your hubby. I feel that way too sometimes. We haven't been pa__sionate about anything lately and it sucks. I'm sure once the baby comes things will get back to normal. I don't feel attractive anymore and I'm sure he's not as interested in me as he was when I wasn't pg so I just let it go.

 

sick and tired - September 30

well my husband is currently in jail waiting for a bed to be available at rehab for his meth addiction. He keeps threatening suicide and last Friday he had the rope around his neck so I called 911 and they arrested him instead of getting him to a hospital. So now he's in jail and not coming home at all, I am 31 wks. So yeah, he's a problem.

 

Mindy - September 30

Lou..i totally understand. Im in my 34th week and am going through the same thing. My husband is being such a jerk and it makes me so sad that he's ruining such a special time. Its gotten so bad that we barley talk anymore because i feel like we live totally diffrent lives now. he still goes out and comes home late..while im at home getting the baby room ready and reading books on motherhood. plus the fact that i feel soooo uns_xy doesnt help at all. even when we do have s_x, im so uncomfortable i just want it over as soon as possible, and im sure thats not too apealing to him either. when he's out im always thinking that hes cheating on me...i dont know what to do??

 

lou - September 30

im sooooo glad your all here and replying although i wish you wernt going through it too, he has just gone out and i told him if he is getting p__sed he can stay at a hotel as im not putting up with it anymore, i suggested that 3 weeks away from my due date mabie it would be moreresponsible to stay in and help around the house but he just ignored me, i feel just like you mindy, ive done and organised everything for the baby, if things dont change i am better off alone, at least i can be happy my husband is so miserable, just the finances scare me.

 

Raychel - September 30

Omg, I have the same problem. It aint my husband yet tho, my fiance, and I aint even with him. He's in Ft. Jackson SC right now, and just talking to him on the phone p__ses me off. I'm not even sure if I want to marry the SOB, maybe its my hormones that are determining that. He calls me an inconsiderate b___h cause he 's "going through so much down there and I have it easy." I so try not to be moody with him, but he loves turning things around on me, and OMG I HATE MEN!

 

Raychel - September 30

Oh yea u know why he called me an inconsiderate b___h? He loves going to the PX down there and buying himself so many things, (like cds and hats, which he cant use/wear) and I asked him if he stopped thinking about himself for once and bought something for our baby, cause at that point he hadn't sent me no money. And thats when he called me a b___h, cuz I made him feel guilty. Now he sends money, but only cause my dad (who I'm currently staying with) threatened to go to his First SGT. It sometimes comes into handy having a father retired 20 years from the army and still works for the government.

 

Mindy - October 1

Lou-...what do you think we should do?? At this point, so far into my pregnancy i dont see myself leaving him...but nothing i do or say seems to have any kind of effect on him, like you said, he either ignores me or gets p__sed and turns things around somehow on me! giving him all the more reason to stay out all night....this sucks

 

To Lou - October 1

What day are you due? When did you get pregnant?? I cant imagine what you may be going through. Did he want this pregnancy???

 

lou - October 1

im 37 weeks pregnant due 22nd oct, yes he wanted this pregnancy, we had two misscarages last year and he was gutted crying, he wants this baby just doesnt how to be a husnand or father, his father was an alcoholic arsehole, im going to wait till after the birth see how he is but ive warned him, i guess time will tell.

 

To Lou - October 1

I am actually due on 21st. I am very irregular!!! QUESTION 1 Out of courisity for my own good, Do you know what day you concevied?????? #2 I am so sorry to hear about your miscar.Does he not understand if his father is an alcoholic and he goes out to weee hrs of the am that it is not good. Try to talk to him and let him know that following in dads footsteps is not the way to go. My hubby had a pretty sucky childhood but has been awsome during my pregnancy. I hope for you and your child eveything will work out. Try not to stress to much and put alot of stress on the child. You will be i my prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

jesse - October 5

i know what your talking about somewhat my boyfriend is allways on me did u do this did you do that im 9 months pregnant have 2 kids ive gained 80 pounds have carpel tunnel syndrom feel like c___p and hes always on me i cry all the time

 

Jl - October 6

Oh girls, I feel so sorry for you having to put up with this c___p. A few years ago I was engaged to a guy that did all the same BS, granted I was not pregnant, our wedding was fast approaching. I was with him 5 years and it took a life changing event, in my case, our wedding, to finally make me open my eyes and realize that I deserved better. Now, I'm married to the sweetest man. He has NEVER called me a name, yelled at me, gave me any reason not to trust him...just yesterday as I was getting out of the shower, he came into the bathroom and told me how beautiful I am - I'm 38 weeks, and I know it's not that pretty!!! He also knows that I'm tired a lot, so he got me a cleaning lady...hello, that is awesome! What I'm trying to say is that if you constantly feel like your man in crushing your self esteem, and only thinking of himself, why do you think it's going to change when a baby gets here? My ex was ALWAYS trying to pressure me to have a baby - looking back now, I know it was a trap of sorts. He wanted me to always have a tie to him. I thank God that I didn't get pregnant when I was with him and that I called our wedding off. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad or act like I know their situation, but I just hope you all know that no woman deserves to be treated like a door mat, and most of the time, it only gets worse when kids are involved. If he's willing to change after you point out what he's doing and how it's making you feel, great. If not, then he's not thinking of you at all. Good luck to you all!

 

lou - October 6

im due 22nd and think i concieved end jan, 29th ish???

 

Kim - October 6

Lou, I'm so sorry for what you have to go through. I have similar issues with my husband. He is selfish, lazy, and very irresponsible. He says that I worry about everything too much. And I tell him "Someone has to make sure things get taken care of around here!" Everytime I do ask him for help, he gives me the eye roll and complains...just like a little kid. There is always an excuse...I'm too tired, or I worked all day. I tell him that I worked all day too and I'm tired...but you know what, I don't have a choice! If I came home every night and sat on my b___t, we wouldn't have any dinner! The dishes or laundry won't do themselves, and the pets can't feed themselves, etc... And he wonders why I am never affectionate with him anymore. Then I feel bad because my parents are always coming over every weekend to help us around the house. We started remodeling the bathroom before I knew I was pregnant, so we are trying to finish that up. And we had to remodel the bedroom for the nursery too! The list goes on. I've only got 4 weeks before my due date, and I don't know how much more house work I can handle! And my poor parents! Our house is a total disaster, and he doesn't care! I just can't bear to bring a baby home to a nasty house with stuff laying everywhere. When I talk to him about it, he moans and groans for awhile, but then says he understands. But nothing ever changes! I just wish he would grow up and start acting like an adult. Anyway, I wish you luck.

 

n - October 9

Perhaps you should try going to an Al-anon meeting. They are a very supportive group for the spouses of alcoholics. Good luck, N

 

lou - October 10

Kim, what you just wrote i couldnt put into words any better, my husband says and does exactly the same stuff. One night to prove a point i didnt cook any dinner and just sat and waited, we usually eat about 6, so at 8.30 i asked him what were we going to eat for dinner, he went to the kitchen and brought back a packet of biscuits, very nutritional for me and baby. My husband also moans he is tired from work, and this was while i was still working in an active job pregnant too!!! as for the decorating, i just do it myself, ive totally given up asking him. I never thought id end up like this, i am concidering leaving him but will wait to see if there is any change after our baby is born next sat,(ish) where do you live Kim?

 

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