Anyone Else Having Problems With B F Or Dh

7 Replies
Miserable - October 25

Ok.. I am 30 weeks pregnant.. and my boyfriend "claims" he is happy about it. But I can count on ONE hand.. maybe even 3 fingers, how many times he has asked me about how the baby is or how I am doing/feeling etc... He is not one of those guys who rubs or talks to my belly. (which kills me) I try to be strong, everyone keeps telling me he will come around. I want to know when, because I just dont see it happening.. He seems to act excited about the baby to everyone but me. People always tell me that he seems so happy about it. I cant understand why when it comes to me, the person who loves him dearly he hides this from? It literally tearing me apart. I don't work, so I sell things on EBAY to make some extra money and I try to keep the house up. We are down to one car right now, so all I see are the insides of this freakin apartment all day. When he comes home he is a total grouch, hardly says anything to me. His excuse is always he is tired from work.. OK, I can appreciate that. But things have been REALLY slow at his work, for the past 2 weeks he has been working half days. Yet he is still soooo "tired from work". Yet if one of his buddies calls he is out of the house in an instant. I dont know what to do anymore. I really try to be strong around him. But breakdown daily because I am so lonely. I am so excited about this baby and of course in my fairytale dreams I thought my first pregnancy would be so wonderful. But sometimes I feel like this isnt such a good thing and that KILLLLLLS ME!!! Sorry to vent on here, but I really dont have anyone I want to share these feelings with. Any support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening.

 

jj - October 25

Have you talked to your bf about this? Tell him how you feel....men are odd creatures at times, especially when their gf's are pregnant, it's not really a reality to them until they get to hold their bundles!! Take care, there's always someone on here to listen and offer support

 

Miserable - October 26

Yes, I have talked to him about it. Things change for about a day. Then back to the same. I understand the reality sets in when he sees the baby and will get to hold him. But its still heartbreaking to me that he seems so uninvolved in the pregnancy. But thank you for your support. Like I said, I just really needed to vent.. : )

 

Lesley - October 26

Men act different. They don't feel they can take part in the pregnancy, cos basicly they can't do anythign practical. Most are not usually emotional as it is, so pregnancy wouldn't make a difference to them. I can count on one hand how many appointments my partner has been to with me and this is my 3rd pregnancy. He sleeps all day and stays up and works all night. I'm sure he does it to avoid me lol.

 

D - October 26

Even my husband, who is very loving, doesn't do those things (rub his hand on my belly, unless I grab his hand and throw it on there when the baby is kicking!). I talked to him about it and he claims it just feels wierd to do that. Nothing more, nothing less. Sometimes they just don't understand and show their appreciation in other ways, like around others. I've learned that being pregnant teaches you a whole new relationship language. Sometimes it takes longer than the whole pregnancy to figure it out!

 

Lesley - October 27

My partner would alsways say "Everytime I touch your belly the baby stops kicking so whats the point" which just isn't true! If he touched when I first said rather than 10/15 mins later he might of felt something!! He is always on the PC playing stupid online games with freaks from Germany. I'm sure he cares more about this computer than he does me. I will wake him up about 2pm and I can bet you as soon as he has had his 1st cigarette of the day he will sit at the PC and check his emails and forums! Not asking how I'm feeling or anything. He will do things that I ask him to do, but in his own time. I asked for a cup of tea last night - was feeling dizzy and knew sweet tea would make me ok - only 3 hours later I was still waiting. Grrrr @ men

 

Brandie - October 27

OMG! It sounds like I wrote that myself. I don't understand my bf at all right now. He was all about having a baby, now that I'm preg. its like he doesn't notice me. He says its just me being emotional, but I can tell when I'm being ignored. He works nights and watches our daughter in the day, so I understand on nights he works why I see him for less than an hour. But on his days off we just lay on the couch, he doesn't talk to me, he just stares at the T.V. I try to come lay next to him and he'll lay for a little while then say I'm making him hot and go lay on the other couch. I feel really lonely inside and I try not to cry in front of him but I can't help it. I always have to put his hands on my stomach, and when I tell him to do it he never seems to be in any hurry. I've heard him talk to my belly like twice, I think it makes him feel weird, but I don't know why cause she right there and she can hear him, its his daughter. I don't understand why he has to act so manly about it all the time. This is my last child, I only want two so I'm not doing this again. We've got less than 2.5 months left to enjoy this, and I feel that hes not taking advantage of it. This is my last pregnancy and I just want to remember it as being wonderful and happy I'm starting to get worried that I'm just going to remember wanting to hurry up and have the baby, so I can see a soft side of him.

 

Bree - October 27

Just my 2 cents. You sound lonely b/c you're alone all day and thinking of the baby anxiously awaiting the baby's arrival. He gets home and doesn't pay you enough attention. I understand. I'm not the type of person that CAN sit home every day. I need adult contact. When my son was little and I didn't work, I about went nuts. I had no stimulation all day, then expected hubby to make me happy, but he was tired and didn't really understand. Men are just not as sensitive, I think, and don't see things from our perspective maybe. **************As for my current situation************I'm almost 8 months now and my lovely husband just walked out on me to pursue a life with his ex-wife and family. I'm so devistated and hurt and shocked, I never would have thought he could do that to me. Anyway, my point it this ........treasure your bf/husband, be glad you have the support you need even if it's not as much as you would like. I almost cry when I hear other people even talking about hubby/bf, because mine is gone. It's like being hit by a bus. Grieving his death and wanting to kill him at the same time (lol). Not literally! I just want him to hurt like I do.

 

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