Breastfeeding Discouraged By Family

14 Replies
Beth - January 31

Hello everyone. I wanted to start this because from the bf poll and the "questions you hate getting asked" forums its seems that I am not the only one who is getting discuraged from br___tfeeding. My mil, sil, and dh are all conviced that I won't be able to br___tfeed. Not only that but they are pretty against it. I think mostly becuz neither of them were able to and my dh listens to what his stupid mother says. They think children who are bf are more sickly and since I am having a boy he may have issues when he is older. I really want to do it but I feel like I should be supported in that decision. Also the more they say "yeah right" the more I want to do it just bcuz they said I can't and also so they can't feed him! Or watch him for more then two hours....lol thats kinda selfish but I have other issues with the inlaws. Anyways is anyone else feel the same?

 

JennyC - January 31

wow - I hate to say this, but it sounds like your inlaws have been living under a rock for the last 20 years if they think b___stfed kids are more sickly. Maybe direct them to the La Leche League website or kellymom.com for some real info about how incredibly beneficial it is for mom and baby. Heck, even magazines like Time & US News and World Report have articles about it. I really hope you take the approach that their negativity just makes you want to bf even more. Prove them wrong and have a happy, healthy child, not to mention you'll lose weight easier, and have a lower risk of b___st cancer later. And its cheaper!!! OK, you already know the benefits, I'm just really supportive of bf and I hope you don't let them get you down. You will need the support of your husband, though, so it might be a good idea to sit down with him and show him all the statistics or maybe even ask your doctor or midwife to tell him how great it is. Your body was meant for it!

 

Stacy - January 31

First of all, yhou should not have to justify your choices as a parent to family!!!! The more you justify yourself, the more they will question you down the road. I would keep my reply short and sweet. It is a shame that they feel tyhe need to make judgments without doing one but of research. You will be a fabulous mother and you need to remind yourself that you know what is best :-)

 

Kel - January 31

I just read an article that said b___st feed babies are less likely to die from SIDS. Gosh, I wish I could post the article for everyone to read, it had a lot of useful information in it.

 

Girl Gilly - January 31

This is a case where you should NOT listen to your family. If in doubt, talk with your Dr. and check into the La Leche League. They are a volunteer orgainization to help women with b___stfeeding. If you aren't getting any support from your family you may need to find it elsewhere. Breastfeeding is the most beneficial way for your baby to get nourishment and very important antibodies. Do what you feel is right . I would recommend looking into b___stfeeding on your own and make your own decision. I am a hard core believer in b___st feeding, however I do realize that it doesn't work for everyone. But, please give it a try and do some research. There are lots of people on this site who support you! I am sure you have some friends/co-workers who can help as well.

 

April - January 31

I think it's great when people choose to b___stfeed - I cannot because of medications that I take - however I do get tired of pro-b___stfeeders constantly saying that their babies are healthier. I've heard equal stories - including my husband and myself! He was b___stfed for a very long time, and yet ALWAYS had ear infections, whereas I was formula fed and was healthy as a horse. Like I said - there are stories for both, I just don't like for b___stfeeding moms to make formula moms feel guilty and like they love their children less for not doing it.

 

Jessie - January 31

Ok, I keep hearing that women who bf get so much opposition - but I think it's the opposite! I'm formula feeding and women everywhere are making me feel like c___p for it!

 

Alycia - January 31

The sad fact, ladies, is that no matter WHAT we choose to do - b___stfeed, bottlefeed, non-medicated birth, epidural, you name it - we get criticized by what seems like everyone. Stinks, doesn't it? Beth, I highly recommend you get in touch with a local chapter of the La Leche League. Here's a website to help you find it: http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebIndex.html Just click on your country and then your state (if in US) and a list of cities and phone numbers should show up. I just started going to meetings even though I'm only 6 months pregnant. They are extremely helpful, and a one of the members will take your phone calls 24/7 or even come to your house to help if you're having nursing trouble. It sounds like you don't have any support at home, so this may be the way to go since you want to b___stfeed. Best of luck to you.

 

Marlene - January 31

Beth I feel trouble that you dont have your family supporting you in b___stfeeding. I'm not going to tell you why its best for baby but I will say if you let them make this decision for you how many others will they make when you are raising your child. Just say in a nice why to your mil and sil that it is not their child and yes their opinions are welcome but they are just opinions and you have the final say. As for your husband explain to him that this is important to you and that you would like him to back you-and that if he's worried about being able to feed the baby after 2-4wks(depending on who you talk to)you can pump the milk so he can bottlefeed.I think b___stfeeding is best and if anything at least do it for the 1st week.

 

Marlene - January 31

sorry meant terrible-pregnancy brain

 

Lilian - February 1

I felt the same way you do when I had my first child. Now, I'm happily b___stfeeding my fourth. It's your choice not theirs. You'll know what the right choice for you is when the time comes. There is nothing wrong with b___st or bottle feeding. I b___stfed all of mine until they were so old then switched to bottle feeding. It's a lot easier b___stfeeding after you get the hang of it. In my opinion anyway. Sounds to me like your MIL and SIL need to mind their own business and quit trying to undermind you. Good luck in your decision and stay strong!

 

sparkles - February 1

First off, your hubby should be the first one to support the decisions your making for your baby. He has to know that he needs to work as a team with you or else your MIL and SIL are going to see this and try to run over all your choices. And they'll feel like they have him to back them up. Then the cycle will never end. I have issues with in laws and can empathize. Whether they think bf is beneficial or not for your child, it is your choice to make and they need to mind their own business. You may just have to tell them this straight up. If they get angry, oh well. Maybe it will fix the whole babysitting thing altogether! I plan on bf, because I know how beneficial it is for a baby. Plus, it's a hecht of a lot cheaper than formula. Good luck sweetie!

 

sparkles - February 1

Forgot to mention this comeback. When someone starts knocking your choice to b___stfeed, just say "Well, God provided my body with this milk to feed my baby. Are you saying that He doesn't know what He's doing, but you know better than Him?" Anyone willing to fight this one isn't worth stressing over.

 

Kim - February 1

Hi, Beth! I sympathize 100%, only it's not my in-laws, but my own mom and grandmother! They both seem to have some underlying problem with bf, I think their both repressed! My grandmother had her kids 50 some years ago when bf wasn't really a very popular idea, then when my mom had us, she didn't really have the option to bf. My grandmother told her very simply, "You WILL give that baby a bottle." I didn't know much about the benefits of bf when I had my first two, but while I was pregnant with my 3rd, I decided I wanted to give it a try. My mom was livid! She goes, "do you have any idea how distorted that can make a child mentally?" She actually said that! Then my grandmother goes, "only poor, low-cla__s people do that. We're not one of those dirty farm families!" I was like, hey guys, did someone forget to tell you that the last 40 years happened! I went ahead and did it just to p__s them off! One time, when my mom came over to visit, I went up to take a shower. I handed her a bottle, and asked her to feed him for me. She goes,"well I'm glad you finally came to your senses and bought some formula!" I told her I hadn't, it was b___stmilk I had expressed with a pump. She goes" you mean you hooked yourself up to a machine and milked yourself like a COW?" Gee, thanks mom, you always know the right thing to say to make me feel so self-confident!

 

cteel - February 1

Someone is always going to have a better way of raising your child than you. Or so they think. Take ones opinion just as it is, an opinion! They arent giving birth to this child so really they have no say so! I have inlaw probs as well!!

 

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