DEVASTATED

17 Replies
Fatima - March 15

I am so upset, I just need to vent a little. My bf was locked up when i was 4 weeks pregnant, for illegal reentry. I prayed to God and cried every night that he would come back before our baby is born. He was given 6 months and was supposed to be deported back yesterday, but on the border they took him back because they found out he had pending charges in another county for tickets. So they said they will get him in 10 days! I am so upset, I thought he would be out in time, I am 30 weeks pregnant and I wanted for us both to start baby shopping but I guess that wont happen! So now I am with the same sadness I had in the beginning, not knowing what is going to happen to him or if he will be out in time. I cant help but cry and question myself why this happened to us!

 

Rhonda - March 15

Fatima you need to take it easy, the stress is not helping you in the long run, I cannot say that I have been through the same thing but, believe me stress comes in many forms. I hope that you have another person around you to help you out, will be thinking of you in the time being.

 

to Fatima - March 15

My bf got pulled over & locked up for an old charge about two months ago. I was hysterical, thinking he wouldn't be here for our son's birth. But it all worked out. Just keep praying & thinking positive that it does for you too, even if it's hard right now. Good luck with everything!

 

Fatima - March 15

Nobody has said it should be, it has been hard enough as it is going through my whole pregnancy without him, and I was so excited that yesterday he was coming back to me, and then all of a sudden, no. But Im going to keep praying and have faith that he will be back in time, and even though its been painful enough as it is to not see him, or be with him for this 6 months, if I waited this much, I hope the next wait wont be long but Im sure I can make it, and all I need is peace, I cannot keep giving these sad feelings to my baby.

 

Melita - March 16

This has happened because your partner has done some stupid and illegal things. It's his fault and not yours. I feel so sad for you that you're bearing the brunt. :'( It might sound kinda mean to say this but if I were in your shoes, I'd be questioning whether he would make a good husband and father with a track record like that. (Sorry but I mean, what else can a person say?) Hopefully you have supportive friends and family. :) I know it's not the same as your man but try to be strong. I'm sure there'll be someone there to help you through.

 

to Melita - March 16

I highly disagree. While he might know what's illegal or not, you don't know the circ_mstances that led him to do what he did. I'm sure he thinks he's morally right, & that what he did is necessary to get to his family & take care of them. I've been arrested before for trying to prevent ancient redwood trees from being cut down. Who is doing the illegal cutting? The logging company. (And the courts have shown this over & over.) Who gets arrested? Me. You just don't know. There are plenty of people locked up for victimless crimes in this country. I could go on about the politics of overfilled prisons/jails, the injustice there winding up a majority of certain races & ethnicities in there, etc, but that's something you should really research on your own.

 

JP - March 16

Fatima- I understand your sadness. Please take care of yourself in this time. Your sadness during this delicate time can really effect you and your baby. I am sure that your BF is going through some stuff as well because I am postive that the last thing he wants to do is miss the birth or his child. I hope he doesn't get deported for your sake and your baby's sake. Although the bottom line is that the most important person you need to be thinking about is yourself right now because you are carrying a precious baby. Good Luck and I'll be thinking about you.

 

numba1cutie6t9 - March 16

I kno how you feel. my husband is currently in Iraq. Hes been there for about 5 months and we're not sure if he'll be home intime for the birth. Even if he is hes still going back for another 6 months afterwards..it sucks

 

ash2 - March 16

im so sorry to hear about that! i know how important it is for the father to be there. the best you can do is definantly tape the birth so he doesnt feel like he has missed anything!next i would see if there is any way he could get a "leave of abscence" just to see his baby being born. if not, maybe get special privledges to keep him on the phone while you are giving birth so he can at least hear the first cry!!

 

Fatima - March 18

To the person who wrote "to Fatima" you are absolutely wrong. You have no idea what kind of person he is. He has children and is a great father and that is why I know he will be an excellent father to our baby boy. If he tried crossing the border was specifically to make sure his ex and his kids arrived home safely. Thanks everyone else for your support, but actually i Do want him to be deported, because I am here in Mexico, waiting for him. He only went to the US to drop off his kids. He shouldve already been here, but he was returned because apparently he has some pending charges in another county. This has been difficult since the beginning, and I was so excited that he was going to be home, then the day comes and I find out that he was put back in jail again. This is so unfair. I understand that I need to calm down, I dont want my baby to suffer because of my own suffering. Sometimes I just cant control the sadness and it gets to me. The same day he was arrested was the day I was going to move in with him, everything was postponed, and because of all this situation, Im not enjoying my pregnancy as much as I wanted to. I just hope to wake up from this nightmare anytime soon and have him back in my arms.

 

Fatima - March 18

Im sorry, my mistake. It was not "to Fatima" it was Melita.

 

Rabbits07 - March 18

Fatima, I know in some sense how you feel. With my first, my BF at the time now DH, was in the Army and sent overseas to fight in Desert Storm when I was 3 1/2 months preg. He did not return until after the baby was born. It is depressing to be alone at this time. The best thing you can do is rally the support of those you do have around you, prepare for this blessing about to arrive in your life and keep on praying!

 

Fatima - March 19

I try not to be depressed, but I cant help it. Not only will he probably miss the baby's birth but probably also his first months of life. I dont know what to expect for his sentencing, but all I can do is have faith and pray for the best results. Sometimes I cry so much, its no joke. But what can I do, I try not to let it get to me-. I want my baby to be ok, but what do I do, just keep these feelings bottled up? Or let it all out and cry? What do you think would be better? Not that any is good for the baby....

 

Rabbits07 - March 19

It's certainly not good to keep those kinds of feelings bottled up inside. If you feel you're really having a hard time coping maybe you could seek some professional counseling? Sometimes just talking about things that bother you and getting them off of your chest can make you feel better. At least you won't feel so alone.

 

Daniella - March 31

Fatima- if your still there... how far along are you now?? What has gone on since you last posted? __ to the others posted about bf or hubby being away due to military.. thats me right now. I've been in and out of the hospital the past week and a half with possible preterm labor and he is gone. He gets back next week, thank God. But, hes only back for a short time and then gone again until the babies exact due date. So, we have no idea yet whether he will be here for the birth of our son. Then 2 weeks after the due date, he is gone for 3 months. :( After that, he will be home for awhile, but we are both overseas right now and have no family, etc. so, it will just be me and baby alone for almost 4 months.

 

maxsmom - March 31

I am going to be a whole lot nicer to husband tonight. I am so sorry that you ladies are going through this without your partners. It puts things into perspective for me and makes me appreciate what I have been taking forgranted lately. Good luck to all of you and hang in there.

 

Fatima - March 31

Well, I wrote to the judge, and he dismissed one of the charges. He still has another one to deal with, which he will go to court on april 20 for. right now I am 32 weeks and 4 days- I hope that he will be given time served. I am a little more relieved knowing the judge wants to help us out, besides that i was told that judge is a very nice person and considerate.

 

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