Feeling Depressed And Scared

7 Replies
Mrs.Steve - October 10

I've posted about this before, but I guess I just need some reassurance that I'm not losing it. I worry about my baby's health alot. I worry that she isn't normal. I'm 36 weeks, so I still have some time to go. She's never really been much of an active baby. She has her moments, but mostly she's low key. I've been to L&D I don't know how many times because I'm constantly worrying about her moving too little and about her being tangled up in the cord. I've had numerous ultrasounds, and now in addition to my weekly ob visits, I also have 2 NSTs weekly. Last night, my lo moved A LOT in 2 hours. It didn't feel normal to me. I went to L&D of course and was monitored for 2 hours. They said she looks good. I was having a few contractions, but wasn't dilated at all. So why don't the fears ever go away? Today, she's moving, but on the quiet side. I'm so embarrassed about the number of times I've gone to L&D. They call my doctor everytime I go of course, and I'm wondering if she thinks I'm crazy. I keep hoping they'll say they will just deliver her. But they won't. They just keep telling me she looks fine and to keep an eye out for any abnormalities. With all the horror stories I've read, I just cannot stop being afraid. Last week when I had an ultrasound, the tech told me that to him, it doesn't look like the cord is around her neck and that there isn't much space in her neck area for the cord right now. The nurse told me that reading on the internet alot can really spark some fears and that nurses sometimes when they get pregnant become worry warts as well because of all the things they know can go wrong. I'm not a nurse though, just someone who reads alot. Dh keeps telling me everything's going to be ok. I can't believe I have 4 more weeks of this. I'm on edge all the time. I know it's not good for the baby, but I don't know how to stop . And honestly I probably won't feel better until she's born and I know she's healthy. Do I have a weird baby or something? Why is she so weird when it comes to movements? I don't know what to think.

 

jenna32 - October 10

As long as you notice movements everyday don't sweat it! I've been having the same problem, i am about 33(but ultrasound measures 35)weeks now and the other week she was so active practically every night and now i am not feeling it half as much, i figure the babies are just getting cramped for space in there,that or i am gaining more tummy weight so it's harder to feel. Just make sure you feel something at lease once a day and hopefully every few hours, remember to eat something sugary is supposed to make them move to.

 

AliChild - October 11

Hey, dont worry. My first baby wouldnt stop moving, he was torture.... But my second one, she hardly moved at all. she was really quiet, and only moved just to let me know that she was still there kind of thing. you'll be okay.

 

DaBonkElsMe - October 11

Hey Mrs. Steve, first of all, you should not feel embara__sed about the amount of times you rely on your doctor and the medical staff to rea__sure you. That is what they are there for. Who even cares if your doctor thinks you're crazy?? That should be the last thing on your mind. Let me ask you, are you a worryer even before you were PG? I only ask b/c if so, it's just normal for you. But here's my philospphy - I have never been a worryer - things could be wrong, and things can go wrong. Anything could happen, pregnatn or not, that's true for all of us. But before we have any way of knowing, what does worrying about it really do for us? IF something turns out to be wrong - and it's unlikely that it will - you and the doctors will deal with it then. But imagine if everything turns out to be perfct - a much more likely scenario - then you're just getting worked up for nothing. You're worries are not just going to go away, you have to train yourself to stop. Everytime you begin to worry about something, you need to think of a trigger that will redirect your attention. Watch TV (no birth stories!!), listen to music, read a book or magazine (not about pregnancy), go shopping, clean up, anything to distract you. And - as often as you can - visualize yourself holding a beautiful healthy baby. See him/her smiling up at you, and try to really feel the pride of holding your wonderful healthy baby. It sounds corner, but visualization really helps redirect your mind. If bad thoughts creep in, don't try to push them out, it will only upset you, let the bad thoughts come, but as soon as you realize you are thinkg of something aweful, go back to the image of your perfect baby in your arms. And rememebr, it's normal to worry. I mentioned before that I have never been a worryier - well that true, but I have called the nurses and my Dr office b/c I didn't feel him move for a whole afternoon, I have nearly forced my husbabdn to drive me to the ER for cramps, and I am axtremely anxious about labor, and all that could go wrong there. I think pregnancy - with all of it's raging hormones - and motherhood - with all of it's responsibility - makes every woman a worrier. Hope I helped some, and I hope you can find some peace before your baby comes home in your arms. :)

 

DaBonkElsMe - October 11

sorry for all those type-o's I was just typing so quickly I wasn't paying attention!! LOL

 

Mrs.Steve - October 11

Thanks, DaBonkElsMe. I am a natural worrier. Have been since long before I even had my first child 8 years ago. Your advice is very comforting and makes alot of sense. It's funny to be so worried about something and excited about it at the same time. I'd be a much happier person if I could kick the worry habit. I've been this way for years. This pregnancy, I think the worry is related to all the reading I've done. I didn't read as much with my first. This time, I'm very informed about all of things. Even doctors and nurses have said to me "Wow, you really do read alot, don't you?" LOL The internet is your friend and enemy at the same time. Dh and my mom have told me to stay off these boards. But the truth is, I don't know anyone else pregnant that I can talk to, and though I've seen horror stories here, I feel connected to the women here. I've never met any of these people here, and I don't talk to any of them outside of this forum. But I've grown to care about them and look forward to talking to them each day and seeing who's next to post a birth story. This sure is a busy week for the ladies here. It's exciting. And I'll tell ya, my turn can't come soon enough. I want my lo to come when she's ready of course, but I sure hope she's ready soon.

 

DaBonkElsMe - October 11

I kow what you mean about this website, you see these people post over and over again, and you find yourself wondering about some of them during your day, I know I do anyway. Well, I'm sure it'll be hard for you to kick the worry habit if it's always been a part of you, but for as many horror stories I've read on these boards, I've also read great birth stories, in fact, more women bring home perfectly healthy babies than have trouble, from what I've seen. You've come a long way and your lo seems to be thriving, your chances of having a smooth birth and a healthy baby far outway your chances of anything going wrong. I learned that from reading statistics on the web LOL.:) Hope you find a way to relax, and I'll be watching for your perfectly wonderful birth story in the coming weeks!

 

docbytch - October 12

Wishing good thoughts your way Mrs Steve!

 

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