Hard Headed Grandma

47 Replies
juju - January 21

Me and my husband had alot of ppl complain that we asked his sister to join us in the delievery room and my mom keeps insisting its only fair that she be in it because its her first grandbaby, i keep explaining that its my MIL also. I have to keep reminding her my SIL can't have kids so thats why we asked her to join us, does ne one else have a problem with there parents understand why you choose who u choose to join in the LND room??

 

Tammy276 - January 21

Luckily I don't have that problem, but my hubby and I have discussed it before because I told him if I ever wanted anyone in there, it would only be my mom and sister....and he's like "well then you would have to have my mom, step-mom and sisters in there too...".. Excuse me, but I am the one in labour, I am the one giving birth, not you, and sorry, but I don't want your family in there starting at my crotch!! You just gotta stick to your guns and don' t let your mom your MIL make you feel bad because the only person you want in there is your SIL. It your YOUR choice My mom was mad at my hubby and I when we had our son because we didn't let her come along to the u/s....Well excuse me, but this is our first child and we would like to experience this just the two of us!! She eventually got over it.

 

Crisi P - January 21

People will have to get over it. I made sure my mom knew BEFORE I was pregnant (partly because she asked that early) that the only person I wanted in there was my husband. She was disappointed at first but now accepts it. The last thing I think I'd want when I'm in that much pain is a bunch of people hounding over me.

 

sparklestar - January 21

Well I think my mom had kind of expected she would be in there....but it had never even occurred to me that she would be!!! My partner's 17 yr old daughter (from a previous relationship) wanted to be there too and though I initially said ok....thinking it might help her 'bond' with her half sister.....I must admit I'm having second thoughts. I don't really know her very well and I don't want someone who's more or less a stranger to me staring at my intimate parts either!! So I think I'm going to say it's just me and the baby's father. I think some people start to see it as a spectator event but it can get ridiculous and you end up feeling you should be handing out tickets and charging an entrance fee lol! My hospital limits the people allowed in the delivery room to 2 people anyway so that makes it a little easier. My sympathy's with you though....like this isn't a difficult enough time as it is people start adding extra complications in. Just stick to what you want anyway, you're the one that's been growing the baby all this time and it's your special day....they'll forget all about it the minute they clap eyes on the new baby ;o) x

 

KMo311 - January 22

with my first baby my husband and i had the disagreement about who can come in. i only wanted my mom and sister. well low and behold when i started pushing his mother slid her b___t in the room. i never noticed because i was kind of busy with my own thing. we never ended up having a good relationship with his mother(for other reasons) and it make me ill now to see her in the pictures in the backround of MY delivery. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! But if this helps at all....i was in the room for my sisters delivery last month and when a baby is coming out of you it doesn't look like a personal area anymore. now your v____a has a job and and its not something anyone thinks about during or after you have been open to the world.

 

Tylersmommy - January 22

My DH and i are having the babies godmother in the delivery room with us . The only reason why we are going to do this is because she is unable to have children of her own and we thought that it would be great for her to be part of it . My family and DH all agree and thank goodness we have no politics about it . At the end of the day itis yoyr day so put your foot down and stick to your guns !!

 

cindernar - January 22

I can completely understand where you all are coming from. I told my MIL she could come into the delivery room along with my mother. She asked if she could video tape the birth, and I reluctantly agreed, as long as she didn't get any close up graphic crotch shots. Well, wouldn't you know... I'm giving birth, in mid-push, when I look up and there's my MIL with her camera, zooming into my most private of areas! I was p__sed, to say the least. I don't know what she did with the tape, and I've never seen it. Anyway, hope you find a solution.

 

little_snowball - January 22

I didn't want ANYONE in there with me. Not even my husband (he still was). It is no one's decision but yours, so don't be guilted into it. And to you, Cindernar, a video camera...you are one brave woman.

 

cindernar - January 22

Yeah, well, the video camera is absolutely not an option this time. The line has been drawn.

 

bree_n_liseys_mommy - January 22

hi, fourtinatly enough my MIL wasn't all that interested in being at the hospital as i was enduced. and as far as cameras go the doctor told them they could only tape above the waist so no ...shots of the baby coming out or anything. i wanted to share the birthing with my family so my grandma was in the delivery room along with my mother and husband. this time around though my grandma will be with my daughter babysiting, sooo my mother and husband will be in the hospital room with me if all goes well. i agree to sticking to your guns delivery is hard enough on you without having the added or rather unwanted company.

 

zay28 - January 23

Oh i am sorry girls, but i think my mom is the only person besides my husband that i will allow to be in the delivery room. Nobody is more close to me than her, nobody really cares about a son or daugther than a MOM. . My mother is the only one that really cares about me. If you ladies are moms you know how much we loves our kids. . ANd i disagree the last comment, moms never will be an unwanted company. Hey that is me and my opinion.

 

MAT - January 23

I agree that labor is hard, intimate work. I am close to my mom, but I do not want her in L&D with me. The only non-medical person I want there is the same one who was there in the beginning...my husband! My mother wants to wait in the hospital, and I told her no - it would just make me worry about her waiting. The last thing anyone needs during L&D is something else to worry about. And emotional discomfort has been known to cause tension and slow down a birth...also not what I want! If you have strong feelings about who should be there, let the nurses know during intake. They will keep extra folk out and happily take the blame for it so you don't have to deal with it while you are in the middle of giving birth.

 

d - January 23

Juju, I am sorry that you have to stress over this. THis is your choice and yours alone. I give you a lot of credit for allowing your SIL to be in there with you. If you don't want your MIL let her know over and over. I hope it works out for you. I only want dh in there with me, of course along with all the drs and nurses. I did ask my mom but she said "hell no" i have been through it I don't need to do it again. LOL. gotta love her. I can't imagine anyone else being in there, It is a private moment that I have been waiting for, for a very long time and want to share it with my dh.

 

alone and preg - January 28

i too am dealing with the "grandma" but mine is a little different. i have no choice but a c- section. and to make matters worse... my baby's daddy pa__sed away in july. (i didn't find out i was pg. until a week afer we laid him to rest). now she a__sumes this is her baby and she has ALL the right to make decisions like being there during delivery. it is hard enough as it is awaiting the birth of a baby that will NEVER know it's daddy, but i feel smothered. i have asked for the respect to have the baby and invite her after it is here to the hosiptal. i was told that she has a blood right to be there, because of her loss. it was our loss too. any suggestions on how to deal with her wothout hurting her more.???

 

PrincessesMom - January 28

alone and preg- What a horrible situation to be in! I am sure that everyone is still VERY emotional over their personal loss, and it is obviously affecting their normal judgement of boundaries. I think maybe if you reasure them that you want them to be in the waiting room, to be a part of the baby's life, and help the baby learn about who it's daddy was, they won't feel like they need to hold on so tight. Try telling them that this is a special moment that you want to share with the daddy, you know he will be there, and you need that time to share, rejoice, and grieve. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

 

Tammy276 - January 28

I just had to share this...My mom is the type of person who doesn't want to see her daughers in pain...she said she would be in there if I asked her, but otherwise, she had no desire..her statement to me was " I wasn't there when she went in, I don't need to be there when she comes out"..Her thought process of it is it is a special moment just between a husband and wife when the baby is conceived, it should be a special moment between the husband and wife when the baby is born (unless the couple specifically askes for someone else to be in there)....My MIL is coming to town and staying with us 2 weeks before my due date, hoping that I will go into labour while she is here and she will be able to be there....THINK AGAIN HONEY!!

 

alone and preg - January 28

I HAVE COUNTLESSLY TRIED TO REASSURE HER THAT THIS BABY WILL NEED IT'S ENTIRE FAMILY. AND SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE A PART OF IT'S LIFE.. THEN WITH ANGER IN HER VOICE SHE STATED TO ME THAT THIS BABY IS HER SECOND CHANCE BECAUSE IT'S HER SON ALL OVER AGAIN( I DO NOT KNOW IF IT IS A BOY YET) BUT SHE INSISTS IT REINCARNATION. JUST THIS AFTERNOON WE HAD LUNCH I BEGGED HER TO TRY AND UNDERSTAND. SHE REFUSES, NOW I AM TOSSED BETWEEN FEELING HER PAIN AND WHAT I FEEL IS BEST FOR ME.... IM AT A LOSS... I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY...

 

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