Having No One

6 Replies
Stephanie - February 27

I am 38 weeks pregnant and am completely miserable. My husband just recently deployed to Iraq and will miss the birth of our first child. I moved back home to be with family, but I have no interest in being around family or friends. I have lost interest in all of my friendships and have become bitter and very unpleasant. I even have come to the thought to where I dont even want anyone to be with me when I have my child. I just want to be alone and I know I am hurting all those who love me. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can help myself?

 

Sophie - March 2

Perhaps you are experiencing pre-natak depression. I didn't know that it existed until my friend who is 32 weeks pregnant was diagnosed with the condition. (I am 29 weeks pregnant by the way). I suggest you talk to your doctor about it. I was told that it could lead to post-natal depression. Good luck

 

Marlene - March 2

I can kind of understand your pain. I live in VA, but my husband relocated to North Carolina for a job promotion in my 29th week of pregnancy. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant. So I am literally alone except for two days during the weekend when he comes home. I fear I will go into labor alone. But I will say this. Even though it may be hard to be around family and friends..if you let them, they can be a major support for you during this time. You are blessed to have people near to care about you. Don't go through this alone. I will be praying for you. email me at [email protected] if you still want to talk.

 

Mel - March 22

Tell your doctor right away what feelings you are going through. They might give you a low dose of prozac to help you through these last weeks and the post-partum time. It might help to just tell someone in your family you are really close to or a friend exactly what you just said. It seems too simple to help really, but you wouldn't believe how hard it is to begin that first sentence to someone. Just ask if they would listen so you can vent your feelings. Once they are out, the more you do it, the weight starts to lift like releasing poisons from your mind. Also, having told close friends and family how you are feeling, they will probably be more understanding if you get snippy at them. Talk to your husband too. Write to him often and call him often with the progress of baby. Let him stay as involved as is possible over the distance. I'm sure he is having a hard time too having to leave. Sharing this with him may encourage him to open up too and help with his feelings as well. For one reason or another, this obstacle has been placed in your lives at a very vulnerable time. You can keep doing what you have been doing and just shut everyone out and have a miserable birth and post-partum time... or you can take charge for you and your baby and your husband and use all the options that are available to make this as easy and pleasant and loving as possible. You've got the right idea, posting your thoughts first to anonymous sites really helps to make those more difficult first steps. I think once you gain a little comfort from us strangers :) you should try it with your loved ones. My heart goes out to you.

 

PP - March 22

My husband is in the USAF and we just found out that he is deploying 10 days beofre my due date. It is also our first. I am nervous and we are hoping that something changes and he is able to stay. I know how hard it is to be a military wife. I would talk with your doctor and if there is a base or post nearby look for the support groups. There will be other wives going through the same thing and it can really help. I live on base and I will continue to stay here even while he is deployed because of the additional support that I get.

 

Jenny - March 22

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It breaks my heart to hear your pain and suffering. It must be hard to have these feelings but you must go and see your doctor right away. They will be able to help or at least point you in the right direction. Take care and be good to yourself. I'll say a prayer for you and your husband, who is probably feeling horrible. Again, I'm so sorry about your feelings of lonliness.

 

Monique - June 28

Also 38 weeks with a deployed husband, and everything you said I feel too. there isn't really anything to make it easier. Having your first child should be an exciting time, but when you feel so alone it is hard to handle. I just try to focus more on how the baby is doing and try to keep myself busy. Everyone that wants to help loves you and cares about you, but what they don't understand is that they can't replace your husband. I try not to get too upset, b/c I just upset my husband when I do. Everything will work out, just stay strong and take care of yourself

 

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