Help I Need To Know How Bad This Is For My Baby

11 Replies
Raging Lunatic - February 25

I need to know how my anger effects my baby. Lately when I get upset I seem to freak out. Like screaming at the top of my lungs crying I mean Psycho actions. Last night I came home to drop off my sister at my parents house and my parents had been drinking and were arguing. Well my mom left(driving upset and drunk) and I got incredibly pist at both of them freaking out and leaving because I dont feel parents should act that way. Well driving home with my husband (who had some drinks in him) he started saying things like dont be so upset (but not in a nice way) and I asked him not to go there I just needed him to be silent so I could calm down, well ofcourse he couldn't do that for me. I ended up freaking out bad and after all was said and done I calmed down, laid in bed and tried to go to sleep and then my little guy started moving around so much and I felt so bad. I dont want to hurt him and I know it probably does. Sorry if I went a little far as of explaining things but it feels good to get this off my chest. Am I hurting my little one and what helps to calm down in those situations?

 

mama3 - February 25

I totaly understand were your coming from. When I was pregnant with my 1st. The guy I was with yelled alot. I would get very upset. My baby was born sound sensative. She didnt like any loud noises. My 2nd dauaghter is very sensative to any loud play or yelling in anyway, due to my husbands and I mouths with each other. If your feeling angry thats ok if its not ALL the time...Your baby can feel your emotions so if you tend to get upset alot she/he feels this and will remember this feeling. She/He can feel all of your emotions good and bad. The only thing I can suggest you do in these situations is try tot ell yourself...You need to think of your baby and these people family or not are not as important right now as your baby. Try taking a deep breath and counting to 10, it dont always work but if you can calm yurself down before dealing with them it will help your baby. Now if your only getting upset like this once in awhile then I wouldnt realy worry to much. I am sry to hear what your dealing with right now, I do hope things can get better..

 

Raging Lunatic - February 25

Thanks Mama3 I will certainly try doing those things:)

 

redhead mary - February 25

with my first son i was in a very abusive relationship. My partner could and would never stop yelling, calling me names...etc etc... I had quite a few serious freak out sessions because of this.. before i really realised that it was never going to change.. unless I changed the situation. My son was born at 35 weeks because my water broke .. i dont know if it had anything to do with CONSTANT stress.... but i am 38 weeks today with my daughter... and i havent had a stressful time at all this time around. My new man is a dream , he wouldnt raise his voice at me if i was screaming right in his face.. but why would i do that? i never yelled or freaked out at my ex until he was in a climax of rage... my advice...take away the problems... and life is stress free....

 

Raging Lunatic - February 25

Well it's sorta impossible to take away my parents and my husband is a loving guy. I just tend to freak out easy. Im going to tell my parents today that if there actions keep up like this than I can not be around them for the rest of my pregnancy because it's not healthy. As for my husband he was just upset that I get myself that upset and it could hurt the baby. Thanks for your advice too redhead mary.

 

redhead mary - February 25

well maybe not literally take away your parents but seeing them less is probably a good idea.... Just think of it as good for you and baby and its only 9 months...hahahhaha

 

Monique - February 25

Your baby DEFINITELY feels all that anger. Your heart beats faster, your blood races and it causes stress for the baby. HOWEVER don't beat yourself up, what's done is done. Personally, when I get upset or totally stressed first I apologize to the baby, then I get real quiet and take really slow deep breaths. I've been taking pre-natal yoga so there's this chant thing I do..... think the word "Sot" on inhale and "nam" on exhale. It helps TREMENDOUSLY!! lol. Wow, I never thought I'd be a "Yogi" like this!! lol. This pregnancy has REALLY changed me. ANYWAY, try it, or just the deep breaths....

 

Becky - February 27

I'll probably be the only person on here to recommend you consider medication, but that is what I'm going to do. I have a fairly upsettable temperament.....I get mad easily and stay mad for a long time. None of that breathing stuff was going to help -- I just couldn't controls my mood swings. It finally started taking a toll on our marriage, so I talked to my dr. and she suggested a low dose of antidepressants. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!! I did have quite a time trying out different ones to find out what worked best for me with minimal side effects, but once I got that figured out, things were great. I've been on fluoxetine (prozac) for a couple years now, and it has made a world of difference. Our marriage is definitely better because of it. And my dr. is not worried about it affecting the baby, since NOT taking it will probably be more stressful on him/her. My suggestion is if it is the situation that is causing your stress, change the situation, but if it is your reaction to everyday stress, then an antidepressant is something to think about. I'm not one of those people who want to treat everything with meds, but just seeing what a difference they've made for me and how others I know would benefit by being on them has changed my thinking. Something to think about......

 

maxsmom - February 28

Dear Raging Lunatic- I have to agree with Becky on this one. I have had a history of depression. I had been off of antidepressants for years, but being pregnant was enough to throw my hormones out of wack and once again I was feeling crazy, yes I know all about those psycho actions. My doctor counseled me on the risks and benefits of taking a antidepressant (mine is Zoloft) and we together decided that the stress I was putting on the baby was more risky than the drugs. Since then, my husband and I are both much happier. I am not condoning drugs or saying they are for everyone but I would recommend speaking to your doctor about whether or not they are right in your situation. Your baby does experience your anxiety!!! Best of luck and you are not alone.

 

Raging Lunatic - February 28

Thanks to all of you. I greatly appreciate everyones advice I've been doing good so far and have gotten apologies from both my parents. Everythings good so far but yes I will discuss this with my doctor at my next appt. Thanks again

 

Pete - March 1

Also... this might help you keep your voice down... did you know that among other noises like your heart beating, your stomach gurgling and your blood swooshing, the strongest noise the baby can hear is your voice, let alone screaming at the top of your lungs!! Just imagine how terrified of you your little kid is already!!!!!

 

Raging Lunatic - March 1

Wow that hit hard

 

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