Hubby Problems

13 Replies
JS - November 17

Okay ladies, don't think I'm weird or anything. I know a lot of women are into watching adult movies with their hubbies, etc. But what about if you know he's watching it by himself? I'm 37 wks pregnant, feeling very out of control with my body, hormones, and weight. I just found an adult movie (not watched with me, obviously) and it just sickens me to think that he would be thinking or fantasizing about these other "skinnier" women. Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? I just can't be myself anymore when he approaches me to hug/kiss me. It disgusts me, to have these thoughts. He's really a great man, and I KNOW would never cheat on me (physically), but isn't this some sort of cheating too? Please give me your imput... I need to know I'm not crazy/alone in this.... thanks


Chris - November 17

I have watched them with my hubby, but I do not approve on him watching them alone...especially not now. I don't think you're over reacting. Have you talked to him about it??


JS - November 17

Thanks for answering... and yeah, about 3 weeks ago, when he promised NEVER to do it again... Since I never had this problem before, I trusted him and left it alone, and when i found it this morning, I freaked. He knows how it makes me feel... It just sucks how insecure I feel at this point!


Liss - November 17

I know how you feel I havent been able to have s_x with my husband since 28 weeks because of being on bed rest and im 39 weeks now. I know he has watched them and it makes me really mad but I think that its better then him out there having s_x with someone else you know. I would just tell him how you feel thats what I did and now he says he doesnt do it so i believe him. Pregnancy is hard you have so many hormones going threw your body every little thing can p__s you off I kinda feel sorry for the guys. Good luck


patty - November 17

I have to say I agree with you and would really have a problem if I found my husband doing this..again....Once in the beginning of our marriage (married for 9 years now) we got married young ...I came home and was going to put movie in tape player and found a adult movie already in there and like you ....knew I had'nt watched it with him....So I confronted him about it (I was'nt pregnant at the time ...this is my first pregnancy) and told him it made me feel inadecuate ( sp?) and that it hurt my self esteem to think he was'nt happy enough with me or needed to look at other women....I asked him embarrasing questions like did he get himself off and what exactly did he get out of watching such stuff without me.....but.....after this in depth conversation he has never did this again ( or he has been much more sneeky about it) and always comes to me with his needs.....Maybe you could try this too cause it envokes the same feelings in a woman pregnant or not.....communication lines should always be open and if you are hurt you should share with him ...good luck


Chris - November 17

If he knows how it makes you feel then he should respect that. I completely understand the insecurity issue. It's hard to feel secure especially when you're body's out of control, let alone when your hubby's viewing other naked women....but remember, you are you're own kind of s_xy right now. I think you should confront him about it, but not in a mean way, just talk to him about it and ask why he's disrespecting you this way and reitterate how important this issue is to you. He should understand and be supportive. Best of luck to you!!


Anonymous - November 17

I am going to go out on a limb here and disagree with all of you. Men have different s_xual needs and the truth is that many if not most men watch p___nography. The best thing is to talk to him openly about it, but I really feel like you have to work on your own security issues and *not* make your husband feel guilty. Watching p___nography is *not* cheating and has really very little to do with you or your apperance. I can never understand how women have such a big problem with their husbands masturbating or watching p___nography. If they are not watching p___nagraphy, do you really believe that they are thinking about YOU, their wives, while they masturbate? Or do you not let them do that, either? I often fantasize about other people, but that takes nothing away from my committment to my husband. My husband has told me he watches p___nography and he feels our relationship is stronger because I accept this part of him, just as he accepts that I cannot match his s_x drive at this point. Forget about your husband and work on your own self confidence.


JS - November 17

Thank you ladies soooo very much! I just thought I was out of my mind that I wanted to chew his head off b/c of it. And patty your description of how you felt is "exactly" what goes through my head. The time I confronted him about it he was in shock, and quite embara__sed about it, but after he apologized, etc, I forgave him. But you're definitely right about the sneakyness (he probably just "forgot" and I caught it again...) What a disappointment! I find it a difficult situation to approach him about because like Liss said, at least he's not out with real women just his imagination. But it still hurts, ya know? Well, I will do so, and I thank you guys for your support!!!


anon as well - November 17

I must say I also agree somewhat with anonymous. My dh has a small p___n collection and I could care less that he watches them. We are very committed to eachother and I would rather let him fantasize then have him feel the need to go somewhere else to live out his fantasies. Frankly, I have been on pelvic rest since my 20th week (now week 32) and I wish I could provide him with a s_x life but for now he just does his own thing. I know he loves me and thinks I am the prettiest girl in the world but I am also realistic and know that he will always find other women attractive because I can still find other men attractive. That's just life.


Jaclyn - November 17

I agree w/ the anonymous message. Even if he were doing it w/o a video, he is most likely imagining someone other than you. Is that cheating too?? I am also pregnant and feeling alot more insecure, but my husband reminds me how s_xy he thinks I am. He would rather be doing it with me than by himself, but I can't complain if I'm not in the mood to help out in that department....


r - November 17

well my hubby does not really watch the pono movies we have together a few times...he likes the magazines and I have found a few that I felt like he got behind my back before I was pregnant and I had a fit he looked at me kinda like I was a bit nuts I mean after all it was just a magazine but it does tend to make you mad but then I realized one day that atleast he is home looking at pictures he is not going to bars and picking up strange girls or anything I mean men have urges that we don't have and I would rather have him looking a mags or watching a flick to get his "strange" then running around with other women which he would never do , I just try not to let it get to me and yes it is hard now that I am getting big a prego 29wks but I know it is me he loves and he still tells me he thinks I am hot (i know he is lying ha ha lol) but as long as he is there for you just let it don't want to mess up your marriage over a stupid movie do you?


Amber - November 17

I fully encourage it at all times. At one point i actually called him strange because he didnt get enough "private time" in. At this point in our pregnancy there is NO s_x with the two of us. None, at all. We both indulge in adult movies, on our own time and together. Just remember that hes doing it with himself, and not with anyone else. I understand the drama of not being s_xy, but no matter how s_xy your hubby is, I doubt he has even a chance with a Jenna Jameson :). He loves you, thats why hes not straying! But i understand each of your discomforts. I get p__sed when my BF is friendly with other girls. (only since pregnancy) The biggest problem with the p___n in the VCR is junior finding it and thinking its the discovery channel!!! Tell the hubby to put the p___n away when they are done!!! :P good luck ladies, if nothing else, i hope this got you to smile. :)


KFish - November 17

I was put on bedrest during my last pregnancy at 31 weeks. OB/GYN reported no s_x. My husband watched videos and bought magazines. I fully supported this. We have a strong s_xual relationship. To have no such type of s_xual activity for 15 weeks when he is used to something 3 times per week, I felt really bad for him. I was just glad he used magazines and tapes rather than seeking the real thing. When I was in bedrest, I would read "romance" novels. He would joke and say that was my "p___n."


Sexually frusterated - November 17

u are lucky!!! My husband doesn't even like p___n. We barely even get to have s_x. I have been begging lately because I want to try everything to get this baby out....being that I am due in 4 days.......UGH. I must say I watch more p___n than he does...weird yes I know...but some people have different needs I guess. Maybe you should talk to him and see his side...or maybe what you could do to help him out a little. Good luck



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