Husband Traveling

10 Replies
Bahootie - June 3

My husband wants to go away for a "man weekend" with his buddies for his friend's 40th birthday. The location is 5 hours away, he wants to carpool and they spend a majority time drinking. I will be 36 weeks pregnant and have told him I don't feel comfortable with him being so far way. Of course we are in a huge fight regarding this. I suggested they come to our house and I will get a hotel room and spend a spa day locally. Am I being unreasonable?

 

cors1wfe - June 3

That's a tough one ....is this your first baby? If it is I think it's still pretty safe since while 36 weeks can be considered term it's highly unlikely that your baby will come over that weekend.....are there any other alternatives that he may like - maybe he would be more open if you let him get the hotel with his buddies and you just stay home.....he might see your spa treatment day as win for you but not for him...just a suggestion hope you guys get it worked out.

 

mommaminchey - June 3

I have to say I agree with you. I am 31 weeks pregnant and last weekend I let my hubby go on his man trip to our 107 acres we have about 3-4 hrs away. There is no phone no elec and they all drink. So pretty much same situation. He wants to go again for july 4th but I have put my foot down and said NO. I will be 35w then and even though this is my first I don't feel comfortable alone and we did this together we stay together... ya know! And since I'm preggo I am missing out on all the boat trips- summer concerts- drinking!!! and stuff. Which is fine. I would much rather be pregnant with my son then have that stuff, but it does suck to be home alone and your partner out having a blast.

 

krissy2006 - June 3

Bahootie, I sympathize with you. I am 37 weeks and 3 days and can literally go anytime because my doctor predicts I will go early and my husband is traveling 3000 miles away for 5 days to Mexico. Talk about being far and not being able to travel back. So I dont have any ideas or suggestions as I can't even make my own man stay, but know you aren't alone and have every right to feel the way you do.

 

krissy2006 - June 3

Oh, I didn't mention that he is leaving on Thursday (I will be 3 days away from 38 weeks) and won't be back till Tuesday. He is going for his brothers wedding and his family lives in a small pueblo where the phone lines barely work at all. :(

 

fefer1 - June 3

well...if it is your first pregnancy, the chances are pretty small that you would deliver that early. Part of me says you should let him go - the other part, the pregnant part of me says hell no. :) Maybe you could compromise and he could drive himself that way he doesn't ruin the party if you go into labor early and he has to leave???

 

boodahbaby - June 3

I will play the devils advocate here and say let him go! Any chance my husband gets to do a guys night or weekend I say go for it! Things are going to change so much for the both of us when this baby is born, that I don't want either of us to look back and say "gosh, I wish I couldve done (fill in the blank) before the baby was here"! He is supposed to go to Georgia (we're in S.Florida) for training in mid July (due 8/5) and he told his boss no bc he doesn't want to be that far away just in case!(I would be 37-38weeks) I think you should be fine at 36 weeks, I know you will be lonely, but plan a weekend with your girlfriends that same weekend... a spa day or relaxing somewhere... take it while you can, the baby will be here before you know it! Good luck in your decision and enjoy yourself!

 

kay101 - June 3

If he does go, I'd make a just in case back up plan. Make sure he knows to absolutely pick up the phone any time you call and have a way figured out to get back home if you go into labor and he's been drinking. More than likely your labor would be a good bit longer than 5 hours, but the concern would be him being able to get there safely. I deffinately understand you being uncomfortable so maybe having a plan in place will help ease your mind knowing you have all the bases covered.

 

LIN - June 4

Yikes, I'd be mad. My husband thankfully made a point of not planning any trips in my last trimester, and it's a good thing because our son was born at 35 weeks!

 

mom_of_1 - June 4

Aw, I know how you feel. My hubby will be doing alot of traveling over the next 2 months for work and there is nothing we can do about it :( I hate it, but it is the field he is in and he will at least be with in driving distance, but the idea of them being away is scary! I would be in a toss up in your position. As much as I would want him to go and have fun, get away, I wouldnt want me that far from me JUST IN CASE :) Is this a few weeks away? Maybe you can play it by ear when it gets a little closer. Maybe ask your DR what they think about the odds of you going into labor?

 

Bahootie - June 5

Thanks for all your advise. My husband travels for work quite frequently and I just hate the idea of him being gone anymore than he already is. A part of me is also hurt that I am less of a priority than this guy, who by the way, he just spent a week in Dallas golfing with. We are only having one child, he already has one from a previous relationship, and we spent a lot time, energy and money to have this child. It will be two years of infertility treatments. I think I am going to stand my ground on this one.

 

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