I Feel Like A Bad Mother And He Isn T Here Yet

4 Replies
mommybabyboy21 - March 14

Ok is it just me… Here is some background so everyone understands why I am freaking out…I am 25 years old, and have this amazing career…I am the Administrative Assistant to the Owner and CEO of a multi million dollar company. So in the financial world I am supposedly set and at a young age. Yet I am horrified about being a mother. I feel like because I have to work…my LO wasn’t plan in fact I was stupidly messing around with a guy who was still in college…we would have fun together but he wasn’t the serious marrying type, he has been in JR college for 8 years and had no job…and I was on birth control pills that I took everyday. But somehow I ended up pregnant and for me I just could never ever have an abortion. Needless to say the father of the baby ran for the hills when he found out I was pregnant. He wants nothing to do with me or my baby, and at first I was like fine. I have a great job, I can afford daycare, I can do it. But now I keep having these horrible dreams about being a bad mother. I feel like I am going to be paying someone else to raise my baby because I work a 50 to 60 hour work week…I’ll never get to see him and when I do…its just going to be work, bathing him, doing laundry, feeding him and I won’t enjoy him, or be able to play with him as much as I wanted to. I always had a dream that I would work for five years save up money. Fine a wonderful guy, get married and be a SAHM. I never wanted my baby to be put in daycare…pre-school yes but not daycare especially an infant. I worked at a daycare while in college and I just always felt bad for the infants because we weren’t allow to hold them much. Don’t get me wrong I love my son to death already, I just feel like cry because I feel like I have already let him down and he isn’t even here yet.

 

wailing - March 14

Mommybabyboy. Regardless of the situation I believe that ALL us 1st time mothers are terrified of being bad parents and don't know how exactly we will fit taking care of a baby into our lives. First of all I commend u for being so young and having so much of ur life together. U should be VERY proud of urself. Second, we all have doubts. ALL THE TIME. I had some lastnight before I went to bed and I am 29. I started getting panicky at the thought that I would never finish my Masters and get my real career off the ground. But, today, I can't wait for my baby boy to get here so I can hold him. It's a give and take that is hardest on us women. We want to do it all and we want to do it perfect, and sometimes it doesn't work like that. Hundreds of people these days have to put their children in daycare, u are very lucky that u are in a good position to be able to where some can't. Don't be so hard on yourself...u'll be a great mom, give urself time:)

 

excited2bemama - March 14

Yeah its normal to have those feelings. Can you cut back your hours a little bit? Maybe work 4 days a week instead of 5 or work part time?? Or maybe look for a job that is more family friendly. 50-60 is alot of work a week wheather you have a baby or not. But don't worry about being a bad mother- you will be fine.

 

LisaJF - March 15

Newsflash, you are normal! I freak out all the time and some of the stuff that I get worried about is pretty silly, but you don't want to screw up either. Try your best and love your baby and it will be okay in the end.

 

Kristin11 - March 15

mommybbayboy21 i know how you feel i raised my dd alone for the first 15 mths (long story) of her life, i too had to work or i wouldnt have been able to support her. I was 20 years old and working in a dead end job just to make ends meet. It is hard but it can be done and trust me you child will be fine. My daughter is now 3 and we are expecting our 2nd child. I am still working fulltime in a career now and i love it. My daughtewr has been in daycare since she was 2 mths old and she is a happy well rounded child. My son will be starting daycare at 8 weeks also. Good Luck.

 

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