Is Anyone Feeling Depressed

8 Replies
Colie - June 25

I'm 18 years old, 32 wks pregnant, and haven't been happy since I've found out. I was a senior in high school when I found out I was pregnant. I dealt with walking the school halls every day thinking and knowing people were looking at me differently. Friends tried to support me but I feel like I lost them all. I feel totally alone. My mother is trying to be supportive and give me advice. She had me at 19. But times have changed. My boyfriend of 3 years (father of the baby) is trying SO INCREDIBLEY hard to listen and understand whats going on with me and all I do is argue with him and push him away. I am so unhappy and I feel like I put on a different face for everyone I see and meet. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm so lost in this pregnant body, and scared, and worried. Will I be a good mom? Can I still go to college? Can I work a job and be a mom and still be able to have free time to do "teenager" things? Will I be able to horsebackride anymore? (Horses are my passion and I LOVE to ride, haven't been able to since january and it kills me inside) Does anyone have some advice???????

 

ashley - June 25

Im sorry you are feeling depressed. While I can't say that everything will just go back to normal because it wont, I can say that things will get better. I was 20 when I found out I was pregnant. I turned 21 and I was 3 months pregnant. My mom was furious and the babys dad whom I had been seeing since I was 16 just turned his back on me. I was severely depressed but really loved my baby. You'll be able to ride horses again after you had your baby. My sister in law rode up until she was 9 months though every body was not happy about it. If it makes you feel any better, I just graduated college this may with my nursing degree. I had a friend who had her baby at 16 and graduated college in 4 years and made honors. There is financial aid for single moms to go to college. I am 27 and it took me that long to finish school, BUT I DID FINISH. LIfe is going to change. But the minute you lay eyes on your baby, he/she will be the most important thing/person in your life. They need/depend on you so you need to pull it together so you can give this little one the best possible life. It will love you no matter what. Its normal to be scared. Hang in there.

 

Ca__sie06 - June 25

hi hun! I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I feel the same way at times, so I understand! I am 19 years old. I was married at 18 (after I finished my 1st year of college) and am so happy. I love my husband more than anything and couldnt wait to marry him. After I got married though I noticed I didnt really have the same friends I used to. We still get together and go out every once in a while, but they were concerned with going out partying and drinking and I didnt really do that anymore. I found out I was pregnant at 19 and was while I was completely thrilled and so were all my friends, it changed our relationships so much more. Of course, they come to the baby shower, and offer to baby sit, and make me promise I will call them when I have the baby, but other than that I havent seen or heard from them at all! We are just in different places in our lives, but that is ok! I have found that I like hanging out with my husbands friends moreso now (he is older, 24, so most of his friends are married and have children of their own also) because we have more in common. You will not have as much time for yourself once you have a baby, of course, but you will still have time do things you enjoy! Set aside a time just for yourself, and have your boyfriend or mother or someone babysit for you. You will be a better mom if you are happy and relaxed!! And of course you can have a job and go to college!! I am taking a summer cla__s online right now, and working part time at a daycare. I am due August 8th (hoping for the end of July!) and start back to cla__ses the end of August. I will be in my 3rd year of college getting a degree in Early Elementary Ed. and Business Administration. My cla__ses next semester are Tuesday and Thursday, and my mother-in-law will keep the baby those days. Once the baby is 6 weeks old I will go back to work, and will work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and be able to take my baby with me. So it is all possible! It will be more work, but it will all be worth it in the end!! Smile!! :) Everything will work out!! Sorry this is so long, if you ever need to talk, let me know and I can give you my email!!

 

Colie - June 26

Thanks Ashley and Ca__sie. Your right. I just need to hang on. I'm glad that I was able to get feed back from people around my age who've been in my place once instead of my mom or my friends who aren't in my position. You both gave me much confidence that I've honestly needed for the 7 months I've been pregnant. Please if I could get your e-mails and talk every once in a while, I would eternaly greatful. Mine is [email protected] !! Hope to talk to either of you soon. By the way its a girl and her name will be Ryleigh Marie!!

 

sophandbob - June 26

Hi chick - sorry to hear you are down, but I totally relate to the blues. I would maybe mention this to your dr, as it sounds like antenatal depression. Rarely heard of, but it does exist. The danger of it being left untreated is that it puts you at greater risk of postnal depression. I am suffering from antenatal depression in a sense, due to the fact that i had a threated miscarriage at 9 weeks. I was told I had lost the baby, and the next day they said I probably had lost it. They made me wait all weekend for a scan before i was told the baby was ok. This has left me extremely anxious that i am still going to lose the baby. I obsessively count his movements and panic if i can't feel him. I get really tearful all the time. My midwife has been great and i have been referred for councelling to come to terms with it and to control the anxiety (by the way, I am currently complaining to the hospital, as I learnt he 1st person to examine me didn't have enough evidence to tell me the baby had died, as she didn't do enough tests, and I could have been scanned, they just chose not to! Consequently my anxiety is now turning into extreme rage!!) I am hoping this will help me calm down and enjoy my pregnancy, maybe your dr could offer you similar support.

 

Ca__sie06 - June 26

I know its hard but it really does help to talk to people around your age. My email is [email protected] Feel free to email me any time you need to chat! :)

 

krista-lee - June 26

im 16, and just had a baby girl june 8th. i was worried at first too about losing my teenage years because of my daughter. i fought alot with my boyfriend during my pregnancy, but he understood that i was stressed and afraid. now that i have my daughter, i dont regret anything at all. i love her more everyday. i plan on going to school in september to finish high school, then taking a year off before going to university. i have a lot of my family & my boyfriends family helping me, and giving me a break by taking the baby for a few hours. it is hard, but you'll have a lot of people supporting and helping you when the baby comes

 

Been There - June 26

Colie, speak with your doctor about getting some help now. Some hospitals even have programs to a__sist with post-partum depression. It sounds like you are on you way there. Also, remember, the baby will take some adjusting for things in your life, but it doesn't mean you have to give up everything you love. You just adjust for a while and then readjust to make it all fit. It can be done. Working, going to school and raising a child is hard at any age. You just have to know what you want and stay focused. There is no reason you cannot be a good mother, ride horses, finish school and work. Just plan it out. You may have to postpone the more fun or costly things for later, but you will still be able to do them in the future. Prioritizing is key. Right now your first priority is making sure you to don't sink further into depression.

 

ashley - June 26

colie sure you can talk to me any time. [email protected]

 

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