Is She Doing This On Purpose

25 Replies
tired - November 16

Ok (venting)... So I am expecting in a few weeks and my MIL keeps offering to purchase some 'must-haves', but never follows through.We're not rolling in the dough (though she is) and need concrete ideas for budgeting reasons. We had counted on her... does anyone else have this problem?

 

venting too - November 17

Yep, I'm in the same boat except it's not my MIL , it's my own mom! My husband and I are really struggling right now, and I was depending on her for alot of things. Now, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and she won't even give me a baby shower like she once agreed to. I have been having complications and my husband has been right by my side at all my appts. so, he was fired from his job. They (my parents) don't approve of this (even though he's dilligently looking for work) and now they won't help us out at all. I'm still debating if I want them to have anything to do with the baby after it's born. I mean, if you won't help me out now, don't come around then right?? Well, good luck! Hope you get everything you need!

 

tired - November 17

Thanks too, I think like your parents, his are not aware of the lifestyle sacrifices we need to make to have provide for the baby. I'm in the middle of my 3rd trimester and my FIL offered to take my DH on a vacation. It's a great offer, but not the appropriate time. My FIL didn't even think that that would leave me alone for over a week, and it would leave us without my DH's salary for a week, plus the expenses that come with vacation.Oh well, it's very likely that the week before they would leave he would take-back the offer anyhow (like he does with Christmas and birthday gifts). They're so weird.

 

Grow Up!!!!! - November 17

Hey, venting two - it's your baby not your parents. Who said that your parents still have to provide for you. You are an ADULT start making adult decisions. You should only depend on your parents for emotional support not financial. Your Mom is not ent_tled to "GIVE" you a baby shower. How dare you say "if they don't help me out now, don't come around" Who the hell do you think you are. It's time you stop being all about you and start thinking about that child. The child has a right to know it's grandparents. You're just a spoiled little snot who if you don't grow up now I feel very sorry for that child you're carring. I can see it now, you and your kid on day time talk show your kid is out of control and it's all because mommy thinks of no one but her self. Good luck to you.

 

melissa - November 17

While I agree that our children are our own responsibility, I think in this case the problem lies with the parents promising things, but then not following thru, which I believe isn't fair, especially if these families are counting on it. Good luck to tired and venting, and I hope your families come thru for you!

 

impatientMamma - November 17

Why do people have to be so rude on this forum? It shocks me!!!! You certainly aren't helping anyone. You are making humanity look pretty bad. Anyway... I have a problem with my MIL who will plant herself at my not-too-large appartment. My mother is coming to help out for a couple of weeks preceding the birth of my child, but frankly, that's not the time I want to develope a relationship with my MIL. We live a two days drive away, and i realize that she wants to be part of my baby's life, but... to be frank, she and I have had a very shaky relatioship. She has stated (without asking mind you) that she is coming for Thanksgiving, and she "plans to stay..." In Laws..... ugh.

 

Grow Up!!!! - November 17

Don't get me wrong, I understand that if someone says they will do something for you then absolutely they should follow through. Venting too seems to expect it. She says that she and husband are struggling and she is "depending" on the mom for a lot of things. It's great that her husband is by her side, but if he lost his job because of it, then that's when she could have asked her mom to be there so husband could have continued working. I'm sure he knew before he lost his job that they were going to let him go and that is not being very responsable especially when you have a child on the way. She probably thought ."Oh that's ok my parents will support us." Venting too, your parents didn't approve because they knew he was going to loss his job and you guys a__sumed that they would bail you out. Again, both of you need to grow up and do it fast before this child is born.

 

venting too - November 17

To grow up and get real......you know, tired and I were just expressing our opinion. Not coming on here to get b___hed at. You don't know our whole stories. Yes, I am an adult and I am quite capable of making my own decisions. I have almost lost this baby due to complications and my husband has been right there supporting me. We have lost almost everything due to him losing his job and all these bills. He has three other kids from a previous marriage, and we have them to support. My parents are very well off, and I don't EXPECT them to give me anything, BUT the five of us have been sitting here without power and without food before and my parents wouldn't help when no one else would. They have made it obvious to me that they don't care about whats going on or the baby or the pregnancy. THEREFORE I WILL THINK ABOUT THE WELL-BEING OF MY CHILD! If I decide he's not going to see his granparents that's my decision!! Nobody's bought me anything and I haven't had anything handed to me. And 20 years from now, if my child's in the same situation, I'll be d__ned if I just sit back and watch him suffer! So why don't you GROW UP and stop picking on people that are almost nine months pregnant and stressed out enough as it is!!!! May you both have the easiest life and never want for anything!!

 

venting too - November 17

To grow up, My husband lost his job suddenly...it wasn't "expected." And I didn't expect my parents to "bail me out". What the hell?????? My mom also "promised" me things. I didn't just expect it out of the blue or automatically just because I'm having a baby. She's my frikkin mom for god's sake! That's what moms do for their children. That's what I would do......but you know what? It's OK because my husband is NOT irresponsible and has already got a new job and he will and does provide for us (WHICH, YES, IS HOW IT SHOULD BE) and I don't NEED anything from my parents. Some support would be nice, but I can't even get that.....so we're on our own and that is just fine. And you need to stop a__suming things. My husband didn't know he was going to lose his job. How are you so "sure?" You don't know anything about our situation and it is definitely NOT the way YOU are making it out to be. Are you so d__n judgmental of everyone??

 

to impatientmamma - November 17

I'm not trying to be rude. What should shock you is not my response but venting too and her husbands' lack of responsability to their unborn child. Why are you not shocked by her comment about if her parents will not help support them financially then she doesn't want them to have anything to do with her baby. She said that.

 

venting too - November 17

AND THANK YOU MELISSA AND IMPATIENTMAMA!!! At least some people aren't rude! Thank you for being on this forum to offer SUPPORT not look for people to make them feel worse about their situations then they already do!

 

NO SHE DI DN'T - November 17

TO GROW UP.. WHO ASKED YOU ANYWAY??? TO VENTING TOO AND TIRED, HANG IN THERE, THINGS WILL WORK OUT, THEY ALWAYS DO. YOU HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS THAN TO DEAL WITH IGNORANT AND RUDE PEOPLE THAT SHOULD SPEND MORE OF THEIR TIME BEING GRATEFUL THAT THEY ARE NOT IN A BAD SITUATION AND TO SYMPATHIZE WITH OTHERS WHO ARE NOT SO WELL OFF RATHER THAN JUST BITCH OUT PEOPLE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW. GOOD LUCK!

 

venting too - November 17

to "to impatientmama" you need to read my posts. I don't want financial help from my parents!!! All I mentioned in my first post was about a baby shower. Did you throw yourself your own babyshower????? You are taking this way out of context. Can't you read?

 

venting too - November 17

THANK YOU TOO!!!! At least some people have a heart!

 

To venting too - November 17

How old are you? Great so your husband as 3 other kids and decides to have another one with you? Lets see dad and mom get divorced and dad decides to start another family instead of taking care of the family he has. I'm sure you are going to say that he does take care of his kids and I'm not saying he doesn't. What I mean is why do parents leave one marriage or relationship with kids involved, only to start another relationship and again start another family. Do some people not think about the impact that can have on kids? I'm a firm believer that you put 110% into that marriage for the sake of those kids. Obviously if there is abuse than that is a different story. But that's when you wait until those kids are 18 and out of the house before you decide to shack up with another person. Those kids come first. That's just my opinion. Then you say that "the five of us have been sitting here without power and without food before" and you think that it's a good environment to bring another child into the world. You can't afford the family you have. So I guess the saying is right we all should work harder so the welfare recepeints can live better. If you think I'm judgmental than that's what I am.

 

To Venting Too - November 17

I just read your comment about you not asking for financial support from you parents. Why don't you look back at your own posts. You said "you and your husband are really struggling right now, and are depending on your mom for a lot of things" what things were you referring to. You also said your husband lost his job and your parents won't help you, help you with what. No I didn't give myself my own baby shower I have friends that did that for me.

 

J - November 17

I think its hillarious that people have enough time and actually want to put energy into arguing with someone you don't even know when all these ladies were doing was asking a question. She asked a question dumb a__ses...if you don't have an answer...don't say anything. With that being said...tired...and venting...I think if they promised these things to you then you have everyright to complain about not getting them. Especially must have items that you could have been saving money for rather than buying other things. I would just say something to the family mentioning you have almost everything but just waiting for those few promised things. And venting...I would just talk to your mom and let her know you really need a shower so you can get those things you need...offer to help her set it up..or maybe talk to a friend to help. I hope you ladies get everything you need.

 

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