Leaving Child For Labor

14 Replies
Trinity102203 - April 6

Does anyone else dread labor because it means you will have to leave your other little one for that time period. I already know she can stay with me in the hospital (as long as someone else is there the whole time, and my boyfriend plans on staying with me like last time) and my mom is planning on watching her during my labor UP AT THE HOSPITAL. I am just dreading that though because you can never plan what time you will go into labor and I hate for her to have to be put through anything (my daughter, not my mom). I am just upset everyday thinking about it. She is 2-1/2 and has never had a babysitter, never been away from me for even 5 minutes (well, give or take). I am even thinking of leaving the hospital early just beacuse i want to be home to put her to sleep and so she thinks everything is normal. I hate that she won't understand what I am doing and why I have to lay in the hospital bed during labor. Anyone???

 

sphinxminx - April 6

I hear you on this subject. I was going to leave my daughter with my cousin but kind of don't want to now, my daughter really has never been left with anyone except my mom and I really wanted my mom to be present for this baby. We finally decided to leave my daughter with my mom if I go into labor over night and bring my daughter to the hospital during the day, I already made her, her own hospital bag with crayons books and toys to keep her busy. We have discussed with our daughter that there is another baby on the way, we always tell her it is our baby and she constantly hugging and kissing my belly. I get so excited just thinking about the new baby, a little worried about the change of one child to two. My daughter is 2 as well. I am due May 9th. I wish you all the best during labor and congrats to you daughter on becoming a big sister

 

mama3 - April 7

I want to cry when I read this. I feel the same way. I have a 21 months old little girl and have never spent a night without her. Mommy always puts her to bed. I never missed a dinner or bath. I think it will be harder for me than her though. She is really close to her grandma and she will be in her own home. My mom moved in about 2 months ago, so I think she'll be ok. I'm hoping she sleeps through the night. She wont go to anyone but me at night. I feel bad having to leave her. I want to have this baby but dont want to feel the way I do about leaving my girl. My oldest will be ok she got me use to her and I being apart from her spending the night at friends houses. An she's 7 too. Just know your not alone. I wish I could have her with me after I have the baby. I cry alot thinking of having to be away from her. If I goto the drs and cant take her with me she moms me all night and wont let me leave the room. I could go on all night, but I wont. Hope you can feel better about it soon. I hope I can too.

 

Mommy - April 7

I had to leave my son at 11 months to go have his baby brother. He didn't know any better, so I didn't worry. BUT, when I came home, he watched me like a hawk and that made me feel bad. And, he would get up in the middle of the night and scream if he couldn't see me in bed (we shared a room, my bed was next to his crib). It was rather sad. But, congrats on your soon to be new arrival and you "big girl."

 

Jenn - April 7

I feel the same way. My first is 20 months and he'll be staying at my MIL house which is right up the way room the hospital. I am having a section so I know that he'll be there for maybe three nights and I am affraid that he's going to feel left out or miss us. He'll be able to come to the hospital as much as he wants and my dh plans to go get him everyday-I just know he is goingto get to the point where he doesn't want to go and cry and that will break my heart cause I won't be able to do anything about it. :(

 

Cabbie - April 7

Hi, I also worried about this when I had my second child. My hubby and I debated on whether to leave her or have her with us. I am also a stay at home mom and leave my kids rarely. In the end we decided to leave her with my mom for a few reasons. We decided that a hospital was no place for her to spend her time. She would have to be so quiet as not to disturb the other patients. We also decided that while she would be there while I delivered and a decent part of that day, hospitals are also not child friendly (2 1/2) as far as things she could catch if touching things and putting hands/objects in her mouth, nose, eyes, etc. She ended up having the time of her life AWAY from us because everyone catered to her. She was there for my delivery and got to spend a little time with her sister before leaving. While my husband could have taken on the role of caring for her, we also felt it was important that this new baby got the same attention and bonding time as our oldest did when she was born. That is why we chose for him to stay with me and the new baby at the hospital. Good luck to you all!

 

Cabbie - April 7

Forgot to add that I will be having #3 in eight or so weeks. We will leave both kids with a grandparent.

 

Emily - April 7

I worry too, but will be leaving my dd who will not quite be two with my dad. He will bring her to hospital some, but mainly stay home with her so she can keep a normal sleep schedule. My dd is very adjustable though. Also have left her with my parents lots. My mom will be with me and my husband in the delivery room. With you since you dont' leave that often, try having your mom watch her over the next few weks or whatever you have left. Try to work up to leaving her overnigth with her. Good luck

 

Tjane - April 7

Well my oldest just turned 7 yesterday and I have the same concerns. While she will understand why I am gone it still wont make her feel any better about it. I keep picturing her thinking that her Mommy is just off at the hospital having fun with the new baby without her and I can see how that would make an only child feel.... I am worried too, very... My Mom is going to bring her to visit every day but I dont know how either one of us are gonna deal really....

 

ash2 - April 7

I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE !! my son is three, and as much as you can tell a three year old about what is going on, i still dont think he understands. he will definatly be at the hospital with me, while in labor , but my mom will be watching him, and all that, but i think i will let him stay up at the hosptal with us too, to make him feel like hes a part of the family. he doesnt understand at this age, and i dont want him to think im forgetting him.

 

mommietobe - April 7

I also am glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I need to have a scheduled cs so I'm looking at a three to four night stay. I'm a stay at home mom and my son will be 23mths when I have his brother. It also is bad because my little one has health issues and having a nursing back ground I'm the one to give his treatments and meds. My dh and I have decided that I will stay over night at the hospital alone so he can be home with my other son who is on a monitor at night to watch his breathing. I just keep praying for a smooth delivery so I can go home earlier.

 

mama-beans - April 8

I'm in the same situation.. my DD will be 20 months when her brother is born. However, I delivered her pretty quickly and left the hospital just 19 or so hours after giving birth.. so this time I plan to leave as soon as they clear us, which should be pretty quick. Hopefully I'll be away from home less then 24 hours total. If not, her daddy will be with her the whole time except for actual delivery time... so for maybe 5 hours total she will be in the care of her aunt, my sister, and the rest of the time she will be home with daddy.

 

karine - April 8

yeah!!!! i have to leave my precious 2yrs and 3yrs old. i know that my 3yrs daughter will be fine, as she will be with her godparents that she likes alot. and she loves going over for sleepovers. but iam fearing what will happen with my son! He is going through a mommy stage right now, its so bad, that his dad cant even take care of him..unless i leave the house. he has only been away for one night, one year ago. thats it! we leave him once in a while to do groceries. but...man...i aleady know i have to have a c section..meaning 3-4days in the hospital.....so i think everyone can relate to how iam feeling. he will also be with his sister and godparents...atleast.

 

LoriAnn2994 - April 8

I have a 2 year old. We have been watching Birthing shows on TV, She things that a baby comes out your belly b___ton. She will pull my shirt up and tell the baby to come out right now. We also go her a present from the baby so that she will get something when the baby comes. (Roller Skates). She is really attached to me now that she realizes that something is up. I have been on bedrest for 2 weeks. I just want to get it over with and get a routine back so that she will feel better. She keeps asking me if I am sick. I feel horrible like I am neglecting her for this other baby that isn't even here yet.

 

Trinity102203 - April 9

At least now I know I am not alone. I have not even been wanting to post this because I thought I was the only one who had this "sick attachment" to my little one. I will definitely not be leaving her with anyone. My mom will watch her up at the hospital during my labor (who has a whole three bags packed full of goodies for them to do, from a Shrek doll to a chalk board) and she will stay in my room on her crib mattress at the hospital. They say she can stay as long as someone else is there the whole time, which my boyfriend will be so it will be okay (at least I keep telling myself), but since it isn't here, I have my doubts and am very nervous. I hate that she has to go through the whole hospital stay at all, but hey I do too. Plus, the baby can go home 24 hours after deliver if all is well, so I will be leaving then, if (and I pray to God) I don't have to have a c-section. but you can still opt to go home. no one can force you to stay. thank you all for your posts. I feel a little bit better. I am due May 30. GOOD LUCK ALL.

 

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