MIL And Hubby

11 Replies
reblurich - October 11

Ok here we go again. We have been thru this already and He was told no, no, no......My hubby came home from work today to inform me he talked to his mother about being in the deliver room again. she informed him that she wants to be there when the baby is born. We had a huge agruement. He wants to catch, my 10 year old daughter has now decided to video tape her brother's birth and my mother who has been a nurse for over 20 years is going my support partner. It wouldn't be so bad if his mother didn't have an opinion about everything and to top it off my husband is the last of 7 kids. URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WP - October 12

Yikes! It's going to be pretty crowded in that delivery room. You'd think after having 7 of her own, some of the magic might have gone out of the whole birth process. At the very least she should understand your desire to keep this an intimate moment. Anyway, if you don't feel comfortable telling her, and obviously your husband isn't being incredibly supportive, you can always ask the hospital staff to ask her to leave.

 

DaBonkElsMe - October 12

I agree with WP, you should tell the nurses who is aloud in the room and who is not. Let them handle it. Even if your DH says to let her in, they will go by what you say - you are the patient. She might be mad at the time, but she'll get over it.

 

Buffi R. - October 12

Ditto!! The hospital nurses are great with crowd control and only letting in the people YOU want to be there. If your husband wants to catch, he'll only need to be on that end for the last few seconds. Before that, he can certainly be your support person up by your head. When the baby starts crowning, the nurses (who will already be there anyway) can take over the coaching.

 

Rainbowbrite - October 12

It almost sounds like she wants to be in there just to cause a raucus. otherwise you'd think her being a mom of SEVEN that she would know what it is like and you being the one to give birth... well you're going to want your OWN side of the family in there or your IMMEDIATE FAMILY... i can see if he was giving birth then he could say she can be in there.. but honestly... honey.... you're the patient.. you make the decision!

 

reblurich - October 12

Here is the big issue. He spoke to her and told her it was ok for her to be there without my final approval. We had already had this discussion and I told him if she wanted to sit in the waiting room that was fine. Lord knows with my daughter it took 14.5 hours so if she wants to sit in the waiting room for 14.5 hours hehehehe is fine with me. I think i would prefer my mother considering she is the one with the medical experience and is my mother. I guess I just needed vent. As for DH being the support person, my mother was there for my daughter and will be there for my son. DH is along for the ride because this is his first and he wants to be part of everything. ok that sounded rough. not being rude or the whole inexperienced person. just stating the fact:)

 

tk07 - October 14

that is tough.... but it is up to you who you want in the room and at the hospital i was in we were only allowed 3 extra people, does yours have a limit? because MIL would be #4. i would be annoyed by this because a birth is special and if she were to make you uncomfortable it wouldn't be good for anyone.

 

Tink - October 14

yep, make the nurses or the doc or the hospital the 'bad guy'. tell MIL it is hospital policy to only allow 2-3 folks or whatever you want it to be.. our hosptial actually only allows 2 in the delivery room at actual delivery. so just DH and my mom. makes it an easy decision and no hurt feelings for anyone else.

 

c_baer19 - October 14

I agree, you should tell the nurses to keep her out if you don't want her there. Tell your DH to kiss your a__s as far as telling his mother she can be there - I made it very clear to everyone that I only wanted my DH in the room - I didn't even want my own mother, much less his. It's really difficult to say, especially since my parents a__sumed they were going to be in the room, but it's your birth and it's YOUR choice. Everyone else's wants don't matter.

 

reblurich - October 15

thanks Everyone, I will be talking to his mother this weekend and laying down the rules

 

wailing - October 15

Eh. I went thru this w/ my MIL too. She didn't say anything to me but made an awful face when we mentioned the only people that were going to be in there were the dad and my mom:-0 So aggrivating. Why would she think it was ok for her to be in there????? It's ME giving birth!!!

 

bessants - October 16

I'd go with a white lie that is after your next midwife appointment advise your hubby she said you can only have hubby and one other support partner thier and they really dont want a child thier soooo that can be your mil job baby sitter!! child birth needs to be controlled and you focused on you not your MIL what a nightmare (just think you might really tell her what you think )))

 

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